Just A Wedding

chapter 34

We were still sitting in the living room watching the television together. The event that was seen in accordance with Adry's wishes. I also feel like I want to laugh. Although already sitting on the bench of High School Adry prefers to see Upin Ipin. Why not my house or this house that looks the same ? I sat next to Mr. Satrio without any distance. His hand was holding my shoulder. It's weird that I'm sitting like this. But I'm trying to make peace with the situation now.

" Asalamualaik........Mas Satrio's "

A female voice made us all look towards the door. I can guess right away, when I saw it it must be Asri. Her pretty face was around one hundred sixties in height with a balanced weight. Soft colored long dress combined with long wavy curly hair in a beautiful layout. High heels that are worn very high add a glamorous impression on him. Very much different from me. My heart is racing faster, beating to the rhythm of my confusion. I was scared and confused by my own feelings. I'm strong anyway I don't want to look weak.

" Mama........."

Adrian and Adry voice together while welcoming the presence of their mama. Hugging each other to release the longing of the child and his mother. Satrio stood behind them.

" Dear not on the phone.........."

Darling.........Mr. Satrio in front of my eyes called another woman with a loving call. I want to fight but I can't. Dear words for a call that is not his legal wife. She's the mother of Satrio's children, Adrian and Adry. She is still his wife. I tried to calm myself.

" I called earlier. I don't want to lift"

" What's my presence, interrupting your show ?"

" No." replied Mr. Satrio trying to give certainty to the Asri.

I'm still sitting on this couch. Just look at it with a stare between wanting to stay here or running to the room. Without being asked asri immediately sat on the sofa followed by Mr. Satrio. They sat next to each other without pause. Let me be confused about this situation.

" Why haven't you been here long ?"

Adry asked as his eyes continued to look at the TV.

" Mama's busy. My mom has a boutique business. Many orders online"

" Hi....this is Dik Arin yes..........?"

" Yes, yes.I am Arin,"

I welcome his hand. Asri is very cheerful and friendly. A confused feeling still enveloped my heart. It was like meeting another husband's wife.

" Well, I'm thirsty.......,"

" Soft drink is cold, right ?"

" Yes, all the fruit,"

Mr. Satrio stepped towards the refrigerator doing a request from Mbak Asri. It is obvious why there are many soft drink packaging drinks in the refrigerator. I was wondering who was drinking ? Because I saw Adrian not touching him. He prefers water and warm chocolate. Adry also does not, he prefers water and milk.Satrio sir, he prefers to drink water and coffee.

" Thank you, mas, "a spoiled voice came out from the red lips of Asri.

Adrian looked at me. The look we met. I smile. I showed you, I'm strong with what I'm facing. He also returned my smile. Did he expect me to faint from suffering ? Oh no easy kid, not that easy. Until this second. I've been through a lot of hurt, so I'm used to it. I praise myself in my heart.

Mr. Satrio peeled the red apple and then shared it with me and Ms. Asri. Asri's brother who struggled spoiled on Mr. Satrio did not make my heart chirp. I really need to be strong. To be honest, my heart actually hurts. Mr. Satrio only offered me fruit while he was feeding Asri.

tanya Adrian while standing with Asri.

"You...mama want....," cheerful and sweet smile mbak Asri agreed to Adrian's invitation.

" Ma....why can't mama take off her high heels ?

"It's at ma's house........,"

Adrian quickly picked up the slippers on the shelf. Walk towards mbk Asri. Squatting down, then painstakingly Adrian took off his shoes and replaced them with sandals. Adrian stood up and ruffled Asri's hair. What a sight I envy. This family loves Asri very much. I'm like the third person here. I feel alienated among them. I feel alone even with them. But I have to be strong, even if I'm not strong. This race without a jury is exhausting me. I'm like a running athlete without a start and finish. Race against my own mind. Combined with the feeling of not wanting to look weak. I don't want to lose even if I don't know the finishing until when and where.

Adrian walked by holding the hand of Asri. Sitting very close. Asri's brother spoiledly leaned his head on Adrian's arm with both hands hugging Adrian's arm. While me and Satrio are still sitting on the sofa. The apple peel that Mr. Satrio gave me tasted bitter and bitter. As if my stomach couldn't accept. This apple won't budge from my esophagus. Somewhat long ago Adrian played music that I don't know the title.

" Aaaahhhh mama forgot....,"

" Mas Satrio I have a gift for mas,"

Asri's mother turned towards Satrio.

" Oya.....WHAT........?" ask Mr. Satrio to flower. His face was excited to hear Ma'am Asri bring a gift. Like a happy little boy when his mother's father came home carrying by.

" Not here, just in the room yuk,"

Asri's mother walked towards Satrio. Pulling his hand. Trying to invite Mr. Satrio to stand up from his seat and follow his wishes. I just kept quiet to see them. There was a feeling of jealousy tucked in my heart. Smiling in a happy veiled bitterness. Trying to look happy to see them. It's hard to swallow my saliva in my throat. It was hard to try to smile in the envy that became the blanket.

" Dik Arin come with me.......,"

Mr. Satrio turned towards me. Staring but I avoid by seeing mbak Asri.

" I'm just here, mas.." answered me trying to calm down.

The voice I made as if I was okay - what didn't work. My voice was raucous with the vibes of anger I was holding back.

Adry who is still loyal to see his favorite cartoon does not care about this situation. While Adrian without ado stale directly staring at me . The cold and sharp eyes are difficult for me to understand. What does the meaning of his gaze mean. His hand stopped twitching the piano keys. His body turned towards me and looked at me unblinkingly. He did not care about his parents who had closed the door to his room. I don't know his heart. Is Adrian looking at me for being happy ? But look her in the eye............. Although it feels cold and sharp. As if to say that there is pity and sympathy for me.

While my body seemed to receive a fear response, anxiety from my brain. Nerves - my motor nerves are limp not working. I'm weak, I'm tired, I'm tired. I'm powerless. I admit defeat to this race. I can't hold on. I was trained in silence. I can only be the invincible.I am not the winner. I lost to the spoiled attitude of Asri. I lost to beauty mbak Asri. I envy his position in this family. I was cornered by myself because of this situation. And the more defeated, I cannot fight for myself. I lost with my own weakness. I lost my own mind. I lost by not being able to keep my body strong. The black and dark shadows returned in my eyes. I put my body on this couch. Trying to survive to stay balanced even though they can no longer.

Oh God, I can't see it..........

It's not just gossip or rumors or ghibah material. But with my own eyes I saw them go into the room and close the door. I am the legal wife of my husband Mr. Satrio. Even though he never loved me. But I am still his legal wife. Why is it so hearty to do it by not caring about my hurt feelings ? Why would he not refuse Asri's wish and remain seated with me ?

Be connected.....................

Do not forget to always smile even though it hurts in the heart.