Just A Wedding

chapter 29

Assalamualaik........

I hope the reader likes the novel I wrote. Sorry if there is a wrong word. My hope after you read give like.......

Greetings to your loved ones.

Tonight for the fourth time Mr. Satrio treated me like the night before. I am tired of thinking about everything. If asked because what ? I don't know either, I hope I won't be touched by it either. But every time he wanted to start it and then just left me like the first night hurt me. If he doesn't want me there's no need to humiliate me like this. Under the circumstances as I have - I have cried myself. I always prevented him from doing it but the answer I received was because we were married. Then said again if he could not because he still loved his ex-wife very much. She said she felt guilty about doing it with another woman, which another woman meant was me. It turned out so low I spelled him.

I picked up and put back on the cream pajamas that were strewn across the floor of this room. I cried without a sound, so deeply hurt I was with Mr. Satrio's attitude which I consider a humiliation. I don't know what anyone else thinks ? But to me an insult as a woman and also as her wife. Let alone being his wife for a year to be his wife for a month I feel like I can't possibly do it.

I grabbed the phone that was in the nightstand. I remember this morning Jhoji was eager to talk to me. It was easy - the little boy had not slept. I exited the room to get some fresh air, sitting on the porch of the family room overlooking the garden.

" Hello aunt......Jhojee kangen.........."

" Same darling, auntie's kangen too."

" When will Auntie come home ?

" Day baby,"

" By - by her remote control car yes auntie ! "

" Yes dear, make Auntie to the store to buy her remote control car,"

Gentle movement of hands rubbed my hair.I looked up trying to see the authoritative face of Mr. Satrio. He smiled as if he had forgotten what he had just done to me. Sit down and Merta hugs me tightly.

" I'm sorry, Dik Rin, I hope you understand my situation ! "

I made no comment, just kept it quiet by playing my phone. Her hug tightened and kissed my cheek. I tried to smile even though it felt bitter in my heart, pressing my deep feelings to be invisible to my attitude.

" The purpose of doing so, is broadly to obtain offspring. We have Adrian and Adry. Isn't that enough ? We just take care of him" he said without caring about my feelings.

Did he not think of the purpose of this marriage ? I also want my own baby. Not that I don't consider Adrian and Adry my son. But can't I want a child born from my own womb ? The child I carry myself ? My own flesh and blood ? an embryo that grew for nine months in my own body ? A life that was once directly connected to me in the umbilical cord. I also want the presence of my son's cries.

" I also want a child. The child born from my own womb "

" Lo dik Rin don't think Adrian and Adry are Rin's own children ? "

" That's not what I mean. I......."

" We must think of dik, having children not of his quality but of his quality. I don't want to discuss anymore, we already have Adrian and Adry."

My heartache deepened not because Mr. Satrio let go of his embrace or stopped his kiss but because of his statement that indirectly forbade me to have my own child. Indirectly do not want my descendants.

" Go to sleep ! It's been a cold night outside." With a kiss on the top of my head Satrio went back to his room.

As long as I'm here at Mr. Satrio's house, I do sleep separately with him. If the newlyweds in the first week - the first week is the sweetness in the relationship is not so with me. Just outside, he treated me like I was very dear. As he had just done, kissed the top of my head, before leaving me who would not get out of this chair.

His voice remained soft, even though we were at war for argument. Didn't break myself to move following his orders to get out of the chair. I cried myself here, with the cold wind piercing the skin despite the heat. I feel cold myself in my daydream.

My purpose in marriage was to avoid Henry to make our lives go well, without clashing with the prevailing norms. I also want my marriage to run like other couples have children as a tie to the marriage. Maybe.... I have to go back to being the old Arin, who was alone with Jhoji before I was with Henry.

Hiang had my wish to follow Mr. Satrio in this house. There are many reasons why I chose to stay in my hometown and keep working again. It's impossible to get what I dreamed of here in this house. At first my married life was like this, there was no way I could last longer with him. Because of his attitude that always treated me like today and yesterday. He just wanted to let go of what I was wearing. And then leave me without caring how I feel. Without even knowing if I was hurt by his actions. Frankly, he ignored me, could casually take a call from his ex-wife and at the end of the conversation ended by giving a kiss. then said politely to me.

" Dik Asri asked the news Adrian and Adry. Dik Arin doesn't matter ? I can't break off communication with Dik Asri because the children keep us together,"

What should I answer if not with a smile that is fresh, with a smile that he should know that I am hurt, if I do not agree. But what can I do ? They do have Adrian and Adry who still need their birth mother, rather than me who has only been present in this family for a few days. If I can and am able, I should be able to answer out loud against his will

" Don't Adrian and Adry have their own phones ? Why ask them through my father ? "

The questions only reached my heart. Unable to get out in a voice, only I retreated back as a question I knew when I would answer myself. I didn't feel my tears running.I just let them slide down my cheeks. In order to fall into my chest and be absorbed by my pores, to be able to enter my heart again and say "you are crying......you cry but no one cares what it hurts ? you yourself must be strong.

seriate.............