Just A Wedding

chapter 38

I packed my things because the time showed at four o'clock in the afternoon it was time to go home. Dita has been sitting sweetly with makeup that has just been re-polished because it will be picked up by her boyfriend Rian. I never told you anything about my problems with Mr. Satrio. All this time Dita thought I was okay with her. I'm a sniff myself. I don't want Dita to feel guilty about what I'm going through. Especially the incident two months ago that made me have to go home in a hurry - buru. yaaaah. But do not be asked about the inner birth. I have not done any husband and wife activities with him. Only the kiss he gave me was no more. About the living born, until this moment I eat from my own salary. Not a penny of money I received from him. Only a million in the beginning we married Itupun for the purposes of the wedding.

" Sir. Rian has arrived"

" I want to go home too. Sleepy......"

I replied walking with Dita towards the motorcycle parking lot. I advanced at a moderate pace and still stopped by the afternoon market to buy vegetables for besuk purposes. My house is close to the main market at one noon the vegetable sellers have arrived for the distribution of vegetables and side dishes. I want to cook my favorite basil cob and Henry's favorite - the man I love. I drove my motor matic back home.

I parked the motorbike and entered the house. Jhoji was already handsome with his wet hair neatly combed. This little boy in fifth grade SD was already sitting cross-legged looking at his favorite movie.

" At Satrio in the room,"

she looked at me and showed me her hands towards my room. I widened my eyes not believing what Jhoji said rushed me towards the room after putting the ingredients in the refrigerator. I opened the door. Yes, Mr. Satrio fell asleep in my bed.

" When did it come ? " i asked as soon as Mr. Satrio found out about my arrival

" So three o'clock," Netra remained closed when she answered my question.

aaaahhhh I just remembered. Why did I not realize there was a black car belonging to Mr. Satrio parked across the street. I let him sleep with his slumber. Maybe tired of having to drive alone with a five-hour trip from his hometown.

After cooking for dinner I took a shower and exchanged clothes. Facing the glass in my room. Mr. Satrio got up and hugged me.

" I'm sorry for that"

" Dik Rin can understand me ?"

" Why are all family numbers blocked ?"

" I'm sorry, I can't forgive you for what you did,"

" I'm very hurt. I'm so ashamed of myself,"

" Mom often asked Dik Rin, why not come already two months more,"

" Especially that time Dik Rin did not say goodbye to father and mother when going home."

" I know very well why I'm not saying goodbye"

" I'm sorry, I really couldn't help my wish,"

" It's not good to love each other, "

" Moreover, mas and mbk Arin is a husband and wife"

" i shouldn't have done that day"

" sorry"

" I can't mas. I'm sorry........"

" I want us to look at the. Like mother's wish"

" Sorry............I really couldn't fulfill my mother's wish"

" Kasian mom dik. He has continued. I want to give happiness in his twilight days"

" Did Arin not kasian mom ?"

" Yes I'm sad, but I feel more sorry for myself.

" Be a little compassionate by looking at mom. If Dik Rin doesn't want to see me"

" I really can't. Really........"

" I can't fit in with a mas"

Does Mr Satrio never know why I refused his wish ? If his request is on the basis of his loving me. I will willingly leave all that is here with her to be a good wife. But this. Not that I don't want to be filial to my in-laws. But I was scared and very scared of what I was going through. I'm sure it's not just once I'll see, like it happened two months ago. I won't bear that kind of hurt and humiliation again.

" Never think of getting divorced from me,"

" I won't take off Dik Rin anytime,"

" Mommy already loves Dik Rin as her daughter-in-law,"

" Did Satrio think of me as his wife ?"

Mr. Satrio was silent but still hugged me. It was even tighter.

" Did you love me ? "

Like a rumble I heard his honest answer. I should be happy or sad with his plain answer. Can't he say "love me so much "even if it's just on my lips to lie to me. Just to make me happy and moved. The answer was like lightning that instantly boomed without giving light and lightning first. In this case it turns out that the speed of light is lost by the speed of sound and sound.

" Slight .........?"

" I'm sorry I haven't been able to love Dik Arin completely,"

" Please understand me, brother,"

" I'm twenty more years with Dik Asri"

" It's hard for me to accept another woman to come into my heart"

The heavy and restrained voice of Mr. Satrio echoed in my ear. There's a net that I'm staring at in this glass that's very fond of me. A boy who became the hope and focus of his mother. He was fighting for his happiness. A husband who loves his wife is maintaining the feelings he has. But not to me. I was only used as a tool for the hope of his parents.I was just a shield to cover his love for the woman he loved.

" I also asked for help"

" Why did you do everything to me ?"

Mr. Satrio let go of his embrace and twisted my body so that it faced him.

" Did Rin regret marrying me ?"

" very.........I'm so sorry I married you, man,"

" I just want to be loved.....,"

" I want to have a good husband......,"

" If Dik Rin wants me to love. We have to have one roof"

" It's hard to feel love when we're far apart"

" My chance is a little bit to love Dik Arin more"

" There I love more and more Dik Asri who is always near me"

Maybe it's true that Mr. Satrio said my opponent is a little to love because we are not as big. We never communicated either. But can't I be hurt ? Just start the wedding. I've been ejected by myself from the area Mr. Satrio.

" I don't know why I prefer it here"

" Because I love Asri so much"

" Because there's a place for Asri "

" Therefore we must one house Dik. "he asserted me.

" No. ...gak .......I can't stand it, mas,"

answer me by crying. I was no longer strong with tears ready to slide from the corner of my eye.

" Dik Arin knows the consequences if you don't want to live at home with me ?" Ask him firmly.

" I don't know,"

" Never expect to get my monthly money,"

" Did you give me money all this time ?"

" Did Rin ever wash and iron my clothes ?"

We are equally silent trying to study. Trying to describe the answers to questions - questions that are accidentally thrown.

" Don't ever expect me to come here if I'm not the one who wants to come here alone,"

" Yes......"

" Never ask me for money even if Dik Rin really needs it"

" Yes........"

" Never ask for my help in any form, "

" Yes........."

I firmly answer all. I can be alone without him. I can, I'm sure. I can do without him. Five months ago my life was fine without him being my husband.

seriate.......