Just A Wedding

chapter 10

Arriving at the room I just put my bag on the nightstand. I rushed back to the living room, peeking out from behind the curtains to see if Ravi was still across the street. I smiled my smile as soon as I saw that Ravi was still there with the car glass open, Ravi was still looking at my house. The road in front of the house is not too wide but enough for cars to pass. Immediately I close the curtain as soon as I know Ravi saw me. he smiled and nodded then drove his car slowly.

I threw my own body rough so it bounced a little on my beloved bed. There is anger I need to swallow. Now I'm completely alone without a mother, and without Ravi. I cried with a roll.

" B....... Jojhi wants to eat from lunch has not eaten yet," the voice of Jojhi's request made me have to rush up from my bed to cry. Isn't there still my nephew Jojhi accompanying me ?

" here.....," asked me with a hand signal for Jojhi to come to me immediately.

" Aunty crying yes....remember uty ?"

" yes Aunt remembers Uty.." I replied slowly.

" What does Jojhi want to eat ?"

" tea fried rice....."

I nodded indicating I agreed. In this house there is only me and Jojhi but after my mother died my father returned to this house. I'm not very familiar with him my father, but still he's my father. I also don't know why he came back to this house ? I also refuse to ask. I do not want to interfere in the affairs of my father, my duty as a child to take care of him with affection.

After making fried rice for the three of us, we had dinner in conversation. Ask at school how ? Jojhi buy any cakes ? Jojhi, from childhood indeed, all her needs I bear, she is already like my own son.

The economic situation, my sister after her husband married again was very troubled. We, my sister and I work hand in hand to help our sister as much as we can. Actually my brother also works to keep the grocery store in the market and is paid daily for twenty thousand. The sister still had to pay for her twin sons and her husband who, due to illness, chose to return to my brother. Two men in my life who I knew all along chose to come home to us when they were ill, were in pain. And what makes me wonder is also why we accept them sincerely ?

We accepted our father because he was our father. And my sister accepted her husband because she said, "however Arya is the father of her children I can't let him."

When she was there, she used to cry for my mother and always told me about her husband. I just listen without understanding the meaning of the sentence that I revealed to Mbak Ayunda.

" Ayunda, not strong ma'am......Ayunda cheated in plain sight. Ayunda's just going for a divorce. Mas Arya never came home, never gave money shopping and the needs of children," said Mbak Ayunda while crying in my mother's arms.

From this story I steadied my heart to keep working until anytime when I was married later. Because I don't want to experience what my sister's mother Ayunda experienced.

" Swing, find any work that is important halal. now there are children, kasian. It is the husband who entrusts to God. I'm sure there will be a way out, we can't keep fasting for sure the holiday will come," mother's advice at that time still ringing in my mind and mind.

Is the same problem with me now ? Do I have to assume that everything that happens to me and Ravi is a part of my life that I have to accept ? But I'm not his wife ? Maybe I'm just the woman who filled the void for seven years ? Or maybe I was just a nominated woman and Ravi chose the best to be his wife ? Why have I been so innocent for these seven years ? Why am I not looking for anyone other than Ravi ? Why am I so innocent I only believe in Ravi mas who never promised me anything ?

In this matter, who is wrong me or Ravi mas ? Seven years I'm repleasing my story with Ravi mas. Ravi never promised me marriage. Have I only been considered a friend all this time ? Am I the one who hopes one day mas Ravi will invite me to get married ?

Now the end of it all, the answer to everything. Maybe this is the best thing for me and Ravi. I had to part with Ravi. Mas Ravi with his new family, and I.........I have to continue my life.

But why am I not sincere ? I still have a hard time leaving Ravi mas, even though I am disappointed with the wedding mas Ravi. I still love him, I still hope to be near Ravi. If I had refused mas Ravi, because I was shocked by the sudden news of Mas Ravi's marriage. Now........, I miss Ravi again, I want to sit with one bench with him.

I glanced at the HP that was next to me, hoping that Ravi would contact me I didn't care about the woman named Hanin anymore. Want to be his wife, want to get pregnant Ravi mas still mine.

Maybe Ravi felt what I felt, Ravi sent Wastapp's message to me.

Mas Ravi's

(Rin. I know it only took you a few hours to accept my current situation.)

Mas Ravi's

(Rin. )

I read through the Watsapp notification. My heart rose again to reject him. So confident was Ravi who said I would accept, I would easily go back to him after he got married, sleep together with his wife. I just let the Watsapp message from Mas Ravi without opening in the Wastapp application, so it looks natural I have not opened it. While this heart churns between will reply or not message from mas Ravi. I'm trying to shift my mind I remember I haven't prayed isya'. For a long time I took ablution water in the bathroom because I was still crying, I didn't want dad and Jojhi to know I was crying. After being satisfied crying I went out and did my duty.

Jojhi was already slumbering in her sleep smiling face maybe she had a beautiful dream. Seeing Jojhi like that there was a feeling of wanting me to be a kid again where just doing PR and memorizing became their heaviest burden. A time like this I remember my mother, if she was still around I would have complained to my mother. Your daughter's mother is kangen mother, kangeeeeeeeeen, kangeeeeeeeeen once.

seriate.........