I WASN'T...

Lookatme!

"The ticket?"

Satya turned around when she heard the ticket checker, asking for our ticket. I rushed forward and handed both tickets. On the way to our seats, there was not much we could talk about. We shut each of our mouths shut.

The atmosphere becomes awkward during the movie. So tense, I could hear the sound of popcorn flushed my molars.

In the middle of the movie trip, I ventured a glance towards Satya who was sitting quietly on my left. Unknowingly, I smiled to see him fall asleep. Maybe he was tired because after school, he continued basketball practice.

I watched him without hiding anymore. His sleeping face is more innocent than a puppy who often hangs out in front of my housing complex postkamling.

Suddenly, I remembered Rena. Rena is now living in my heart. Rena brought her joy to the grave.

What's up with me? Why do I even think of romantic things with Satya? If this continues, I do not deserve to be said as a friend at all, right?

My head thinks about this alone. I want to run, and I want to hold Satya tightly. However, as Satya approached, Rena's heart beat reminded me to keep my distance.

I'm not a problem of feeling. I'm not a sensitive person. Observation problems, I'm very lacking. The path I choose, not necessarily hurt any party.

"What else do you think?" Satya suddenly whispered.

I raised a conscious face and bowed. Satya woke up from her sleep. "It's not important."

"If it's not important," Satya stretched her body, "may I know?"

My eyes blinked. Since when did Satya become a kepo? By the way, the new face of the wake is okay as well. "Can't."

Satya did not answer, and looked back to the front. "Gue talked to the girls, because they're my Junior High friends."

Holy hooch! I feel ashamed to break up because I am too ashamed!

"Gue doesn't like girls who accentuate their body shape too much."

"What kind of love?" my mouth is nyerocos itself.

"Woi, if you want to talk, just outside!" someone came from behind us. It was obvious that we were disturbing the other audience.

I and Satya throw each other wry smiles. Then we save our chat for later. For the rest of the film, I couldn't concentrate. Satya also looks restless in her seat. We were sitting there, but our minds were drifting away.

Finally, the ninety minutes filled with that struggle, ended. I walked out of the movie theater with Satya. "You have dinner, yuk?" take me.

Actually, I don't want to if I have to part with Satya. Even though it's only a minute, I hope to be with Satya even longer.

"There is Japanese food. Wanna try?"

"Can!" l agree.

We ended up ordering a bowl of ramen and katsudon for dinner. The clock still shows at six in the afternoon. The mall seemed to be crowded by young people visiting. After ordering the food, Satya did not remove me from her eye range. Although I looked the other way, I knew that Satya was watching.

"Debi," called Satya, trying to draw my attention to her. "On our conversation..."

Nah! This conversation I finally could not avoid. I have not prepared my heart and am still confused. But, hearing Satya bring it up, made my heart happy.

"The kind of girl I like..." Satya smiled, making my heart jump up and down in joy, "like the one sitting in front of me."

I hold back desperately not to smile, but it's free. Happiness filled my head. Getting two likes from Satya, making my sense disappear.

"Hey! You two!" Gilang appeared out of nowhere, disperse the atmosphere that had been painstakingly built Satya. "After eating? I'm joining, huh?"

"If I say 'no', you want to get out of here?" ask Satya.

"Good." It seems like Gilang's mood is good. Last time we met, he slapped me and looked angry. "Who else is here? Just eating doang?"

Gilang. "Filling books and stationery. Keep on, I'm hungry. Even met you guys."

"Where's your groceries?"

"Brought to the house with my assistant. I'll take a taxi online. Can't you believe I came here to buy a book? Do you think I'm tailing you?"

"Lo tail me, right?"

"No!"

I squinted my eyes. "Yes. You tail me."

"Aargha! What's wrong!?" gilang's great-grandson finally spoke honestly. "Gue feels guilty, so I want to apologize. But, you went straight to Satya's house."

"Why don't you wait for me to come home?" ask me I don't understand. The path of Gilang's mind is unpredictable.

"don't know. I was spontaneous so you're here."

I sighed while shaking my head. That was as easy as the answer that came out of his mouth. "Have you ordered food?"

"It has. By the way, what are you talking about?" Kepo galang. We both just kept quiet, because it would be a shame to tell them what just happened. "Gue guess, huh?" the distinctive lopsided smile of Gilang was engraved on his face.

"Lo mending talk about something else, huh!" satya Guli.

"Lo says he likes Debi again, huh?" he spoke as if it wasn't important.

"Yes!" challenge Satya.

I look in my direction. "Lo himself, still confused, because he still thinks the heart belongs to Rena?"

"Lo nguping?" I suspect he heard everything.

Gilang leaning against the chair. He looked at me with a look of disbelief. "Debi, I know that you want to be a good friend to Rena. I regret not making up at the last moment. That you make excuses a punishment you make yourself."

In my heart, I agree with everything Gilang said. I'm looking for an escape for all of this. There is no other way out that I can take. Guilt kept haunting me, once I knew that Rena was gone.

"Now we open up, yes, in front of Satya, the person is here." Gilang fix his sitting position. "Debi, answer honestly, yes!"

"Depending on the question" I answered carefully.

"If Satya is approached by another woman, what?"

"No way," I lied.

Satya laughed loudly hearing that. "Aren't you jealous?" he smiled amusedly.

"Not open the card!" my great-grandchild is upset.

Gilang took a long breath. "Debi, be honest." she said in a soft voice. "Lo don't hide anymore. Don't keep making Rena an excuse."

"Gue wants to go home." I ran away immediately. I could feel my face becoming red due to Gilang's conscious insistence. Instead of being angry, I was embarrassed by my shaky feelings.

"Don't run!" Satya pulled my hand. He pulled me around, but I didn't dare to raise my face. "Don't go again, Debi... My taste of joy can no longer be contained. I love you, Deb..."

***