I WASN'T...

HCU

I opened both eyes slowly. The ceiling of the room I was familiar with stretched wide in front of me, but it was not the ceiling of my room in the house. Fragrant drugs filled my lung cavity. Instantly, I knew where it was.

I looked down, saw that there were a lot of wires sticking out from behind the patient clothes I was wearing. Both of my hands were attached to infusions with many branches.

My eyes were distracted by a woman in a dark green uniform who stood on my back "Mom.." I whispered. The oxygen shells covering my nose and mouth made my voice inaudible.

My throat feels very dry. The tips of my fingers and toes were cold for mercy, but my chest felt like it was on fire. I tried to move my hand to reach my mother who was still on my back.

My mother turned her head quickly as my hand managed to grasp her uniform. There are two possibilities. Mom is on shift so you take care of me, or you don't come home at all and borrow a hospital work shirt to accompany me.

"My boy.. My boy.." Mom stroked my head. Tears began to fall on her thin cheeks. "You are finally conscious.."

How long have I been in the hospital?

Mama Feli emerged from behind the curtain. Quickly, he checked all the wires connected to my body. After making sure everything was in the right place, Feli bowed over me. "Debi, do you know where it is now?" tanyakanya.

The same question every time my circumstances turn bad. "Ru.mah is sick.." I replied slowly.

"Now answer with a nod, yes!"

I nodded. Under these circumstances, it was very difficult to make a voice to answer.

"So, it's your fifth day at HCU. You were brought here unconscious. The oxygen level in your body is too low at that time. Now everything's getting better. You still feeling weak?"

I'm just so nagging.

"OK, that's natural. From the results of the examination, thankfully, there is no significant damage to body parts from the lack of oxygen. But we still have to make sure with your help."

I'm just so nagging.

"We'll do another electrocardiogram, while waiting for your energy to return."

I'm just so nagging.

Mama Feli smiled, then came out of my bedroom. Mom stood next to me with a washcloth in her hand. "Mother plans to wipe you. It's late afternoon, time for you to take a shower."

I almost cried seeing the desperate face of Mom. The mother turned away, pushing the trolley containing a basin of warm water out of the room.

I inhaled a lot of air coming out of the oxygen tank, stopped when my chest was painful, and then exhaled slowly.

My mind drifted to the day where I lost consciousness. The last thing I saw was Rena running over to Satya. The dress moves beautifully when hit by the breeze.

How, yeah, that time? Hmmmm..

Even though I was present at Satya's match, I didn't watch it at all. I focused on pretending to be okay, even though my chest felt like it was going to explode. The calls from the audience made my condition worse. It's fitting that my doctor forbids me to come to such live matches.

I don't know the end of the game. Satya did smile when he came out of the dressing room, but that could mean anything, right? Satya is the type of person who will smile win or lose a match.

I'm sure Mr. Anton was the first to notice that I fainted. Is he also the one who bugged me up to the car and then to the hospital? Well, I have to thank Mr. Anton.

Ms. Feli came back into my room with an ECG device. "We record the heart rhythm first, huh?" abugn.

I'm just so nagging.

The examination did not last long. It's only about a minute. Maybe because Ms. Feli is trained and used to doing this, the examination went quickly.

"Debi, can you raise your right hand?" tanyakanya.

I followed orders. Although my whole body feels weak, but I want to prove to myself that I am still fine.

I raised my left hand.

"Bend the right leg?"

I bent a kid's leg.

"Left?"

Replace bending left leg.

"Wink a few times?"

I blinked a few times slowly. If you blink quickly, I will be mistaken for a crush, Mbak Feli.

"Smiling?"

I am looking at a horse.

Mama Feli smiled back. "Okay, now we just wait for your doctor in charge to come. She must be so happy, you finally opened your eyes."

I'm nagging again. "Drink?" my voice is hoarse. There was an uncomfortable feeling that I just noticed in my throat.

"Bak help you drink, but not too much first, yeah!" Ms. Feli grabbed the bottle of mineral water on my table, then slipped a straw into it. "Slow down, yeah!" he put a straw on my lips.

When I swallow, it doesn't taste good. Something stuck in my throat. Ah, lest I attached NGT, huh? Ms. Feli herself said that I had not been conscious for five days. Eating and drinking, as well as oral medications that I have to take, must have been inserted through a hose that was inserted through my nose to the stomach.

My mother came back into my room. "Your friends are coming, son," said Mother with a smile.

Usually I'll say 'Rena's coming', not 'friends'. Who's visiting, huh?

"Unfortunately visitors are restricted. Only representatives can enter."

"Re.na?"

"Medium les ballet. Maybe he'll be here tonight."

"Jam ber..kun..jung?" ask me. Rena usually finishes ballet practice at about eight p.m. The journey from the tutoring place to get to the hospital, is thirty minutes, even if there is no traffic jam, because Rena uses a car that can not slip if it is stuck. Visiting hours in the hospital are only up to eight at night.

"Rena will ask for a report from Mom about your condition. Rena has only met you once, not every day like the time you were hospitalized. He said he promised you not to skip lessons."

I smile. Apparently Rena still remembers her promise the other day and she didn't break it even though I was in bad shape. The boy was an adult apparently. Is this the effect of falling in love?

"Now outside there are your exkul friends. Satya is there too."

I'm silent. Still don't know what to react to Mom. Of course the representative of those who would enter was Satya. Or Ms Feli will not allow visitors to enter first, because I just realized?

I actually hate being seen in this condition by others. Just look at me now! My face must have been pale. A hose was attached to one of my nostrils. Both of my hands were infused. The wires were milling around my body.

People who see will feel pity. They will give special treatment to me. It made my self-esteem low. It was as if they agreed that I would die soon.

"Mom.. Debi. be.lum wants to. meet. si..anyhow.."

My mother looked at me in silence after I said that. There must be a bad taste in Mom to my friends who have come to visit.

But I don't want to be pitied. I know that my life is not long, but I want to be treated as a normal person. I wasn't ready to accept the look of pity that they would throw at us every time our eyes met.

***