I WASN'T...

Secret

For almost two months I was hospitalized. I was only in the ICU for a few days after I regained consciousness. As soon as my doctor confirmed my condition was stable, I was transferred to a regular inpatient room.

Surprisingly, I didn't let a friend visit me. During the treatment, the nurses also seemed to be hiding something. Of course I asked, but all were silent.

The real reason I had to go on a treadmill therapy the last month, I kept it a secret. I just according to. There's nothing I can do here but follow your wishes. This is to get out of the hospital immediately.

To be honest, I was still plagued by my dreams about Rena back then. Rena who does not want to answer my question and does not put a very beautiful smile on her lips. I miss taking him in.

"Okay, the result this time was good. Beyond a doubt, you recovered quickly" my doctor in charge praised. "After this, we observe for a few more days, if your body's response is good, you can go home."

"Well, get back in the wheelchair," Ma'am Jihan-the nurse who took me in that morning, helped me to get off the treadmill and get back in the wheelchair.

"Please return to the room. I'll talk about the results with your mother" the doctor said.

Ma'am Jihan immediately pushed my wheelchair out of the treadmill room. We returned to my deserted inpatient room. A plate of warm rice, complete with fish steak side dishes, was served on the table. I glanced at the wall clock, apparently it was two in the afternoon.

Ma'am Jihan helped me who was actually able to stand on my own, back to bed. Not forgetting he changed the head bed, to be upright, so that I could lean there. Then, Ma'am Jihan brought the food closer to the table. "Eat a lot, yeah! After this, we check the blood lab again."

"Makasi, Ma'am Jihan," added me before Ma'am Jihan out of my room. After my hospital room door closed, I looked hungry at the food in front of me. Although this food is tasteless, this is all I can enjoy right now. Satya can't visit, so no one smuggles a cloth into my ward anymore. Rena is also absent, the cakes that she has been serving almost I forget the taste.

I opened the glass covering the food. The smell of fish tempts my nose. My stomach was screaming to be fed. In five minutes, I finished my lunch. To overcome the hunger that is still left, I drank as much water as possible. Being too excited, water accidentally spilled on my shirt. I immediately took the tissue and wiped it.

"I think I should change" I murmured to myself. I grabbed the nurse's call button for help, then pressed it. Faintly, I could hear a ringing call from the nurse counter. I waited for one of the nurses to come to my room.

Five minutes of waiting, no one came. I decided to cancel the call and change clothes myself. After all, my condition had improved and my own doctor said I recovered quickly. It won't matter if you just change clothes.

Slowly, I got out of bed, then pushed the infusion pole towards the bathroom. I saw my face in the mirror. My hands are drip-free, stretched out to touch the mirror. There wasn't much time I spent looking in the mirror during the treatment. Mandipun, I helped.

Something is different about me. My face is not as pale as I remember. A red hue was on my cheek. My lips, which are usually blue, are now red. As I recall, no one applied makeup on my face today. I stared instead at my palms, red patches radiating under the skin. My forehead is wrinkled, don't understand. Why am I different like this?

I undressed the wet patient slowly, while still looking in the mirror, still amazed at the change the mirror reflected.

My hand moved towards the bandage that was stuck vertically in the middle of my chest. I remember the first time I saw that scar. How many times have I had heart surgery, right? A seven?

It'sit's okay. I don't need to know what you've done, because I've lived to this very moment. All thanks to Mother. Staying in the hospital and undergoing all the necessary therapy, is not something that is heavy.

My stomach rang loudly when I was wearing new clothes. I'm really hungry and Mom just started her shift. There's no way I'm asking for extra food.

I walked outside the room. The hallway of the ward was deserted. Not many people pass by. Probably because it has not been a visit. I walked slowly to the nurse's counter to ask permission to go to the cafeteria.

Hearing my name called, I spontaneously stopped. My hearing was ten times as sharp.

"So I ran the patient home. The usual child came, make a fuss again the same security guard because the security guard was given instructions not to receive any deposit for Debi."

"Well, be persistent too, huh? How many times has he been here?"

"Every day."

"Just to see Debi?"

"Who else?"

"Hhh... How long are we supposed to cover up about Debi's operation?"

"Until he can go home."

"He went home, had to control many times. Sooner or later, he'll know it all."

"At least we can buy time until he's completely stable."

"Gue can't imagine how broken Debi's heart would be if he knew what happened."

This time, my hearing sharpened twenty-fold. Whahuh? What can I not know? What truth are they hiding? Why is my heart broken?

I backed off, heading towards the nurse counter that I had originally set my sights on. They said someone was at odds with the hospital guards. Maybe the guy's still downstairs. I walked quickly in the opposite direction. I had to go to the first floor, and the only way I couldn't see the nurse was to go down the emergency stairs.

All sorts of questions fluttered through my head. All this time, I've been silent, according to whatever your wishes. So, what did I just hear?

Arriving on the first floor, I stopped to catch my breath first. I checked my palm, to see if it turned pale from lack of oxygen or was fine. I'm amazed, it's still red like before, it's even redder.

I pushed open the emergency stairway after making sure no one was looking. I straightened my body and acted like nothing happened. My heart was beating faster as the hospital exit appeared before my eyes.

My eyes widened when I saw a man arguing with one of the guards. "Satya's sister?"

***