I WASN'T...

Feelings

"Racid?" Satya sat next to me with a plate full of roasted beef combined with grilled corn and peppers. The sweet aroma came out from the food Satya brought. Without further ado, Satya thrust the plate into my hand. "Eat slowly!"

"Makasi, Brother," I received Satya's plate, then devoured the food on it slowly. The coldness of the peppers makes my stomach even hungrier.

Mr. Hasan is a cook. All the cooking is good. Rena stood around Mr. Hasan, guarding him from Gilang. Almost Gilang sprinkled a flavoring that he thought was powdered pepper. He also grilled meat directly with his aluminum foil. It is better for one of us to keep Gilang's hands from being nosy.

"Nake?"

I looked down, aware that almost half the contents of the plate had moved into my stomach. "Banget!"

Satya's hand suddenly extended to my face, her fingertips rubbing the corners of my lips. "Lo is like a child" said Satya, smiling. This smile must be watched.

"Satya's sister didn't eat?"

"Nothing is ripe yet."

Spontaneously I thrust the beef that is still reflecting white smoke towards Satya. "Try!"

Satya grabbed my hand, letting the warmth from her body flow through her hand. He ate the beef from the fork I still held. The distance of our faces is only a few centimeters, making me able to see how exotic the curves of Satya's face under the dim lights of the room. If you look closely, Satya is a sweet person.

Satya suddenly looked up. "Yes, delicious!" again, he smiled.

I hurriedly pulled my hand, and went back to devouring the food on the plate. Jesus, just try Rena who is in my position, surely she will be very happy!

"Swipe!"

We looked up to hear the order. Silence stood before us. His right hand carried a large plate, while his left hand held the glass of wine he had bought.

"Gue wants to sit here! You slide!"

Since Gilang is the host here, I'm the same Satya whatever he wants. It's not funny that we fuss just about the couch.

Gilang sat next to me, while Satya moved to the other sofa. Gilang's face beamed after the food on his plate went into his mouth.

"No need to ask Mr. Hasan to roast, right?"

"Now!" Gilang thrust a piece of shrimp from his fork. "Yeah!"

I devoured the shrimp without hesitation. Daritadi, this shrimp is the one that caught my attention the most.

Satya stood up suddenly until her feet hit the table in front of her. The water is not good to see. "Gue wants to go to the toilet" she said in a soft voice.

"He why?" ask me to myself. Is it so bad to pee, so Satya's face up like that?

"How do you think Satya is?"

I looked back at Gilang who asked a strange question. Gilang did not return my gaze. He looked straight at Rena who was busy helping Mr. Hasan in the backyard. "Satya?"

"Do you see him as a man?"

I am more confused. "He's a man, isn't he?"

I was shocked, not because I knew that Rena liked Satya, but because Gilang was aware of how Rena felt. "When did you know?"

"It's so obvious to look at." Gilang devoured a piece of grilled squid, then sipped his wine a little. "The first time I met them, I thought you were just three teenagers who were friends. But, Rena's behavior is different. He liked to secretly steal a glance towards Satya," Gilang turned to me with a straight look, "and Satya secretly stole a glance at you."

"Debbi!" Rena approached with a plate of roasted meat. "This cobain! I just tried a different spice!"

I blinked. Still unaware of Rena standing before me. The words of Gilang a second ago, able to divert my world.

Rena who did not get a reaction from me, chose to rest in front of me. Anxiety emanated from her pretty eyeballs. "Debi?" call him while shaking my knee.

Gilang grabbed one of the shrimp on his plate and directly put it in my mouth. "What a big lo! The vow! Smart but I don't know what!" Gerang.

I chewed the shrimp in my mouth. My brain also rotates back on its axis. "Loe.. Kidding, right?"

Glazed smiled thinly. His eyes looked soft under the dim light. "Ren, I'd like to seriously talk to Debi. Can you give us both time?"

Rena looked at Gilang and I took turns. He investigated what happened between me and the stone-headed man in front of him. "Lo's not fighting Debi, is he?" the canal.

"Gue wants to express love" Gilang replied. In my heart, I want to laugh at Gilang's answer. How could Rena possibly believe such a reason?

"God! Sorry!" Rena immediately went away. I caught her cheek that was met with red when she was leaving. She believed?

Gilang giggles slowly, knowing he can fool Rena. "He believes!" whispered, feeling funny. Seeing me who did not respond to his jokes, Gilang set his breath to calm down. "So" Gilang began to get serious, "you really don't know how Satya feels?"

I shook my head slowly. I noticed Gilang's expression, wanting her to laugh like that and saying that she was also just joking. But what I found was the opposite. He returned my gaze without blinking. There was no ordinary ignorant smile that extended from his lips.

"Satya, he's watching you, more than I thought." Gilang leaning on his couch. "When at school, he put up his body when I took you home. At first I thought it was because he was worried about his best friend. My suspicions are well-founded when you are hospitalized. Satya comes in every day and always sits next to you for hours. He told me about school life because you couldn't go to school that time."

My mind bounced to the memories where Satya told me how the school was when I was hospitalized. The thrill of his training he and also Rena who made a scene because they got a statement of love from the Chairman of OSIS.

"Last morning, Satya came first than Rena. He forgot to bring his cell phone so fast."

"Where do you know?"

"Gue's a sharp observer, Deb. I used to look around me as a reference for my writing."

I looked at my hands that were clinging to each other. I didn't notice Satya in those details. All this time, I was just focusing on Rena and always looking for a way to get Satya close to her.

"Satya likes lo, Deb," Gilang lowered his tone. The look in his eyes did not hint at a lie.

I shook my head hard. "Can't! It can't be!" I grabbed Gilang's hand. "Satya can't like me!"

"People's feelings cannot be controlled. I have no power for that."

"But your words have not been proved!" i'm insistent. There is no evidence to clarify Gilang's testimony. "You can just assume."

"You prove it?" Gilang smiled obliquely. "Lo follow the storyline I made, yeah!"

***