I WASN'T...

A Good Listener

Glazed sitting at the dining table with his face bent. He was upset because I was teased. The wet cake in front of him was untouched despite being very tempting. I sat down in front of Gilang, smiling apologetically, hoping his anger would quickly finish.

"The reception can't last long, Gil!" i grin. "Feed, eat first!" I deliberately close the plate containing wet cake towards Gilang. "Gue bribe?"

"No need!" suhut Gilang fast. He instantly took out one more painting cake, and devoured it at once.

"Do you behave like this when you're dating?"

"No! Because no one is happy!"

I chuckled at the answer. I started enjoying playing Gilang. "Okay, I'm sorry to see your red face go out."

"Not to be caught again!"

"Haha! Aye, aye!"

Gilang grunting. "Lo so the story of your pain?"

I leaned back in Gilang's kitchen chair. Breathe out loud, then breathe out slowly. "So," I began, "it started with the diagnosis I had a heart defect while in the womb."

"From the womb?" He made sure, as if he did not believe.

"Said Mom, I mean. I'm in my stomach, I don't know anything."

"If you know everything while in the womb, so horror story!" Gilang devoured the cake in front of him again. "Next, Ma!"

"When I was born, it didn't have much effect. I just need a few controls. I went back and forth to the hospital for treatment and training." I woke up from sitting, intending to make some warm tea. "I'm lucky I have a nurse's mother. Mom knows what to do. Sometimes I panic, but it doesn't matter."

'Tea is in the upper buffet."

I opened the buffet on top of me, picked up a teabag. "Tea what is this?" ask me so do not recognize the brand of tea belonging to Gilang. Reading is hard.

"It's foreign-made. That's why it tastes different from tea here."

I served two cups of warm tea quickly. Then sit back. "Many cases I know about congenital heart disease" I continued, while offering a cup of tea to Gilang. "Little time, my case was mild. Growing up I was not too disturbed. In fact, I was lucky because my brain was functioning properly. But, when I entered junior high school, my pain became more and more. It turned out that it wasn't just a heart leak, the valves in my heart weren't working properly either."

Gilang sipped his tea. I was tempted to taste it too. The fresh sweetness was immediately smashed on my tongue. "Initially it can be only with drugs and several surgeries. While sitting in the ninth grade, a bitter reality was faced in front of me. My doctor told me my life expectancy was low. The doctor said I could die at any time. I've had surgery to replace the heart valve and deal with the leaky heart problem. But apparently God said something else. The problem isn't that simple."

"So, even though you've had surgery, you still haven't healed?"

"So the doctor said. Because of that, Rena got into trouble many times because I suddenly stopped breathing. Not everyone knows how to get basic life support if they meet people who are not aware."

"But Rena can?" ask Gilang.

"Yes, he's the only one who can help me when I suddenly pass out. He knows what to do. Rena always saved my life."

"For that reason, you don't want to admit that Satya likes you the same?"

I shook my head slowly. "Satya can't like me." I sipped some more warm tea in the cup. My throat feels dry when talking about Satya at this time. "Rena, she's in love with Satya at first sight."

Gilang leaned his body forward. "Gue has read a few books. My guess, the way out of your illness is a donor heart?"

I nodded weakly. "That's the only way right now that a doctor can give."

"Finding a healthy heart donor is not easy. Someone had to die so his heart could be taken. I don't want to pray for that shit."

Gilang rubbed my head. "Good boy this one..."

I replied with a smile. "Gue has lived too long. I have had a lot of experience I have. But I still think there's something I want to do."

"That's human, Deb. You can't manage what you want to achieve." Gilang ate the last pancake. "Gue is proud to have a supportive friend like you."

"Eat him, as long as I can, you have to help me keep my distance from Satya!"

Crossbred eyebrows raised. "But suddenly I meet a girl I like?"

I thought for a moment. Glazed waiting for my answer, still with the body leaning forward. I leaned forward. "Can't!"

"What?"

"Lo can't like girls as long as I'm alive!"

Gilang laughed hearing that. "That means I'll be single for life, dong?"

I laughed with Gilang. Even though he only talks bad, but it's enough for me to be happy. I never dared to say 'lifetime' was that easy. I was too afraid that tomorrow, or even a minute, I would die.

"Not anything to be afraid of" Glazed as if reading my mind. "Fear is human. You're just a human being, Deb. Don't push yourself too much."

Tears immediately flooded my eyes. All this time, everything asked me to be strong and strong, so that I myself could not show fear in front of anyone, even in front of myself.

"Gue has a huge collection of movies! We'll see, yuk!"

"Gue has to rest, Gil!" i'm reminding.

"Do you want to sleep on my couch in my reading room?"

I walked first to Gilang's reading room. That place makes me feel calm. The fragrant paper from the books that the Silent Collection filled the room. Some books I can't read, because they use a foreign language that I've never learned. Miraculously, Gilang can speak eleven foreign languages. His brain must have been specially designed to memorize language, so there was no room to memorize the path.

"Your back page, don't you want to change?"

"So the playground?"

"Not that extreme, Gil! I mean, you can add plants there. Fill the grass also to make it more beautiful. A big house like this, but it's not taken care of. Where is your money going?"

"Gue tube and investment for an uncertain future."

I remember that Gilang's parents no longer exist. It was indeed the right choice to cultivate income well in the time when he was at the breaking point. "Later I brought some plants from my house. The grass too."

"Not to bother, Deb!"

I threw myself on the sofa. The longer I stay, my body sinks into the sofa. Lovely delay! My eyes are slumped and heavy. From the corner of my eye, I could see Gilang leaning against one of the bookshelves while reading.

The stone head, it turned out to be a good listener. I don't even need to talk too much to make him understand how I really am. A good type of friend even though it is sometimes gemes.

***