I WASN'T...

Difference of Understanding

Rena looked at me with a cold look, piercing to the bone. In the hours of rest that we usually use for lunch together, today was different. Rena suddenly asked me to speak with my four eyes.

"Ren, is there a problem?" ask me a little scared. He doesn't talk as much as he usually does.

"What's going on with Kak Satya?"

I swallowed with great difficulty. Without me noticing, cold sweat started to appear on my temples. My voice does not come out.

"Lo have a taste of Kak Satya?"

"No!" exclamation me fast. "What do you mean? I have no special relationship with Satya, other than friends!"

Rena did not answer. He looked at me without blinking, scrutinizing my movements. "Satya's brother changed. He's not as happy as he used to be. He skipped training, but next week it's a game."

"What does this have to do with me?"

Rena squinted her eyes, her forehead wrinkled suspiciously. "She's changed since you guys left the library."

My heart stopped hearing Rena's confession. So scared, my eyes can't look away. Right said Gilang, I should have told Rena everything. Rena is my best friend, the one who should know best what happened.

"Gue accidentally saw Satya's sister coming out of the library the other day. Look at his strange face, I'm not going to be looking at him. Not long after, you're out of the same place." Rena rubbed her long hair behind her back. "Gue waited all this time, but you didn't tell me anything. While you're engrossed in Gilang, Satya's sister is getting worse."

"That day, in the library" I decided to tell him everything, "Satya-Sak said he liked me. But I don't feel the same about him."

Rena grunting. "Gue had guessed that Satya Kak had a similar taste of lo," he said.

"But we really have nothing to do, Ren!"

"When did you wake up?"

"What?"

"Since when did you realize Kak Satya likes you!?" snapped Rena.

I set my heart rate so as not to hunt. "I'm not conscious, but Gilang."

"Deliver?" rena Rena doesn't believe it. "Lo's boyfriend who tells you, if Kak Satya likes you?"

I shook my head. "Say just said that Satya's sister paid more attention to me. But while in the library, Satya's own sister confirmed that she-" I stopped finishing my sentence. Seeing Rena's sad expression, made my heart feel sad too. "Gue knows you like Satya, and don't mess around. That's why I'm dating Gilang."

"You mean, you're dating Gilang to avoid Kak Satya?"

I nodded. "Gue reckon, that way, Satya's sister won't have any more taste for me."

"That's not how!" exciting Rena. He looked angry, both his hands clenched beside his body. Tears began to appear to bathe his eyes.

The wind during the day was so soothing. The scorching sunlight is blocked by the lush mango trees that thrive in the school garden. Actually, it's a good time to chat while joking.

"Lo doesn't understand this feeling. Deb," tears began to flow past Rena's cheeks. "Seeing our loved ones get hurt, it hurts more. Sis Satya who was injured, in my eyes looked so pitiful. I don't like that. Why did you make Satya so? What harm?"

I took a few steps forward to approach Rena, but Rena avoided. I don't know what to say to calm him down. Anna kept crying in front of me.

"Satya's brother lost everything. All because of him. What is the lack of Satya? How can you date with Gilang compared to Kak Satya? Why don't you give Satya a chance to prove that she has more right to be your girlfriend?"

"That's no excuse!" Rena snapped again. His emotions are clearly visible in my eyes. "Gue just wants Satya's sister to be happy, but you ruined everything! I'm waiting for you to tell the story, so you can fix everything, but you're just as fun as Gilang!"

"Ren, it's not like that..."

"Gue doesn't understand how you think!"

I bit my lower lip. From the beginning, I should have told this to Rena. I can make him understand if I just explain the meaning of my actions. Rena doesn't deserve to cry like this.

"That's it..." Rena wiped her tears. "Now, you are nothing more than a heartless woman! It's up to you to stick together Gilang! But don't show up in front of me or Satya again!"

"Rena!" I caught his hand, but Rena immediately shook my hand. He threw a look of disdain before it passed from before me.

Why is it like this? Last time I saw Rena, everything was fine. Why on the first day I went back to school, something bad happened?

"Debi, what are you doing here?"

I turned around quickly, actually shocked because suddenly there was someone behind me.

"A-what's up?" tanyanya stutters. "Lo cry? Why?"

I rubbed my cheeks which turned out to be wet. Unknowingly, I was crying. My chest feels tight, not because of my heart pain, but because there is something stuck in my chest.

"No what?" Satya grabbed my arm with both hands. Warm and comfortable radiated from Satya's hands. "Will you go to the UKS?"

I raised my head. Satya, who was standing in front of me, looked worried. His eyes were slightly red, yet did not cover his handsome face. My tears fell unbearably. I fell down, my legs were limp.

"Debi?" Satya knelt in front of me. He tried to align his face with mine for our view to meet.

"Sister, I'm sorry..."

"For what? There's nothing wrong with me."

I shook my head slowly. That heartache, must still be imprinted in Satya. I don't know what I've done so Satya likes me. But, I am a coward, it is not appropriate to be around good-natured people like Satya or Rena. They don't deserve to be hurt by someone like me.

"Debi, calm down first" Satya pinta. He rubbed my head gently. "For me, there's nothing wrong with me. You don't have to apologize."

I just want Rena to be happy with Satya, the person she likes. But everything is chaotic because I do not dare to speak honestly.

"Gue is here. When do you want to tell a story, I'm ready to be a listener."

I was lulled into the tenderness Satya gave me. His large hands, always gave invisible protection. His cheerful voice made me believe whatever he said. "Is Brother Satya still hurt?" ask me in between sobs.

"Still," Satya replied softly. "There's no way I can forget how I feel as fast as lightning."

"Sorry for that, brother..."

"Gue don't think that's the cause of you crying?" terka Satya's. "So I saw Rena go. Did you guys fight?"

***