Blue Berets

48. Derogate

It was almost morning but Adnan was not able to close his eyes. Since he did not want to disturb his wife's slumber, he slowly got off his bed and walked towards the living room in his house. He sat on the sofa with a dreamy face and eyes that were like seeing the reflection of his brother-in-law and sidekick, Raihan.

In the past few days, he has not been able to focus on working. He always saw the reflection of Raihan's face standing with a smile towards him. When he tried to approach it, the shadow would definitely drift further away as if Adnan would never be able to reach it.

“Bang?” call Lucy who realizes that her husband is not next to her.

“Hmm?”

“Why sit there? Still can't sleep?”

“Yes that way, you sleep again. Still at 3 am,” said Adnan.

“Ngak ah, I so can not sleep no brother next to me,” said Lucy bersamja to her husband.

“Asking my wife,” replied Adnan. Her hands she wrapped around the shoulders of Lucy who was sitting leaning against her. When one hand was busy stroking Lucy's head, one more hand he used to hold her hand.

“Your stomach still hurts?” ask Adnan.

“Udah is not so. Sorry yes this time I failed again take care of our child,” said Lucy who was full of regrets.

“Do not apologize dear. It wasn't your fault. The doctor also said it could still be treated. Let's try it again after it's better, okay? Already do not cry,” said Adnan to calm Lucy who began to sob in his arms.

“Abang, according to Brother if I occasionally bring Amira what Bang Raihan will allow? Why yes, I've been thinking for a few days Amira keeps bang. I'm afraid, afraid that there will be nothing either Kirana or Amira,” Lucy said.

“Not there Lucy. There's not gonna be anything. Kirana, Lucy, Raihan will be fine. Believe the same brother. Do not think strangely yes,” Adnan said to his wife.

...***...

After his shift, Adnan took the time to look at the condition of Kirana who was still comfortable in his sleep. When she and Lucy get there, Raihan arrives. Only Raihan who get access to be able to enter the room Kirana who really must always be sterile and calm. Even to go inside alone must wear special clothes, masks, and gloves.

Adnan was only able to look at his sister from behind the glass wall. He sees Raihan as writing something in a book. It seemed like it was a diary she had written since Kirana's sleep. He knew that Raihan and Kirana liked to share their daily stories and since Kirana was declared in a coma, Raihan who had no interlocutors always put everything in the book. Adnan himself does not know what the contents of the book, he also does not need to know the secret between his sister and the husband. All he knew was that the book must have kept all the turmoil and anxiety of Raihan's heart.

Ever since Kirana had an accident and did not open her eyes, Raihan had also lost his smile. Although he was still able to smile in front of his little daughter, but Adnan knew there was a cry in every smile that was thrown.

“Hai Nan, it turns out you. I think who's coming,” said Raihan who just came out of the ICU.

“I miss Kirana, so stop by. Hey you don't stay here late, occasionally rest at home, your face shoots that,” said Adnan.

“Later, after this too I will rest. But before that, Adnan tonight I put Amira in your place can not?” ask Raihan.

“Kok suddenly?”

“Yes no papa. I picked Amira yes,” said Raihan.

“Still Nan, sorry to take nicotine,” Raihan said with a smile.

“Han, you are honest with me now. Lo what's up?” ask Adnan.

“No Nan, I have nothing. I'm fine,” replied Raihan.

“Long. You won't be able to lie to me Han. I have not been your best friend for only two years. Lo why?” ask Adnan who began to urge Raihan to tell stories.

“Then answer my question Nan. Is it possible for Keenan to return to Kirana?” ask Raihan.

“Lo what the hell? Not very clear,” said Adnan.

“Adnan, there's a blockage in my brain. I should have taken the medication to get well, but I refused. I don't want Kirana to leave when I'm on medication. I know my time is not much. I have to make sure Kirana and Amira are okay when I go,” said Raihan made Adnan like being struck by lightning during the day.

“What do you mean?”

“I know Keenan and Kirana still love each other. If only I could meet Keenan and tell him myself. I'm Kirana and Amira. No, rather I gave Kirana back to her,” Raihan said.

Adnan suddenly felt emotional. Without a second thought he approached Raihan and pulled his best friend's collar mercilessly, “Lo said what just now? You think my sister is what? Han, I believe in elo but what are you doing now, huh?! You want to leave me so anyway and even you want to ask Kirana back to Keenan after you yourself always force him to forget Keenan? Lo crazy Raihan,” said Adnan with full of emotion.

“Gue is crazy Nan. Just think I'm crazy. All this time I wondered why Keenan deliberately made himself hated by Kirana. Now I understand, we tend to forget someone who gives hurt and disappointment rather than forgetting people who make happy. I failed to take care of you. So you hate me, so you can help Kirana to forget me too. Nan, from the beginning I knew Kirana's heart never made me. He just talks to me as a thank you. It's enough Nan, I can't torture Kirana any longer,” said Raihan who started crying.

“Gue does not understand the same mind path lo Han.”

“Gue just asked you to help me take care of Amira. Be a good father to him, you don't need to know me to Amira. She knows she is the daughter of Adnan Dzaki and Lucyana. I also asked you to let Kirana go and let her pick her happy. Help her with her true love. Please Nan, you hope I'm the only one,” said Raihan.

That's when Adnan saw a thick red liquid flowing out of Raihan's nose. The blood continued to flow nonstop even though Raihan had already wiped it off. Adnan accompanies Raihan to clean it in the bathroom, but because his mistress does not stop, Adnan takes him to the ER.

“Lo has seen for myself how bad I am now. I beg you as a friend and as your brother-in-law. Bang Adnan, I tipped Kirana and Amira,” said Raihan.

“Udah diem. We'll talk about this later. That lo nosebleed hasn't stopped Raihan,” said Adnan half-screaming.

Adnan has just returned after being explained by doctors about Raihan's current condition. His left hand was no longer functioning, his vision was also blurry and Raihan should have felt the pain in his head that was so excruciating but the doctor even wondered how Raihan could withstand everything like this. Doctors even said that if Raihan changed his mind and wanted to undergo surgery, his chances of being able to return to health were very slim.

“Han, you want me to do now?” ask Adnan who has given up.

“In my jacket there is one book. You can read everything, from the book you will know what you have to do. Sorry Nan, I can't take care of Kirana like I promised to elo with Papa,” said Raihan.

“Don't apologize Han. You're not wrong, I know you're doing this all for my sake. I even want to say thank you because you are already as strong as my guardianship even to sacrifice your own life gini,” said Adnan.

“Then it's short but I'm happy to be with Kirana. Nan, adek lo once told me, being able to share the people we love is the greatest happiness in life. Adek lo is my first love Nan and he is also my last love. Now I'm willing to let him go. I returned him to Elo, sorry I can not keep my promise,” said Raihan.