Blue Berets

17. Between Yes and No

Kirana had already received Bang Raihan's presence in her life. Kirana finally decided to accept it as a form of her gratitude to the universe that is still so good to such a despicable girl. He kept trying to treat Bang Raihan well, as much as possible to keep his feelings even though it was really hard for Kirana.

Since then Bang Raihan has never been absent again to pick up Kirana. After Bang Raihan isya must have been stand by in the cafe even often also bring dinner for Kirana and her two friends. Or like last night for example, Bang Raihan said he had just risen in the ranks and he treated Kirana and her friends and employees as well.

“Dek? You want to talk to both of you first, can you? All of us dinner,” asked Bang Raihan.

“Must now Bang?” asked Kirana who was busy checking the contents of the warehouse.

“Let's go when you finish your job,” Raihan said.

“Sorry, just a minute. Finished checking the warehouse I met Brother. Brother just wait in front yeah,” Kirana said.

Lucy and Ningrum are not in place today that's why Kirana has been so busy since. Kirana as much as possible cross-checked everything before she left to eat together with Bang Raihan. Kirana gives the mandate to Dimas to supervise and preach it if something new happens he dares to leave the cafe.

“You eat where we Bang?” ask Kirana.

“What do you want to eat Dek? Brother deh,” said Raihan.

“Abang today has eaten rice right?”

“Not yet, this afternoon just ate pecel. Why ask that?”

“I want chicken noodles Bang,” said Kirana while playing her finger.

“Sama-sama Flour Deck, what difference? Is it not the same as eating rice?” said Raihan.

“Beda dong Bang, flour in rice is the same flour in noodles is different. The nutritional content is different, in the stomach also tastes different,” said Kirana.

“Same on Deck. Abang mah stomach is immune to all kinds of food so want to go anywhere and any food you want Abang jabanin, yes unless asked to name your spicy level anyway, anyway,” said Bang Raihan slightly muttered in his last sentence.

Kirana laughs, “who also asked Brother to follow my spicy level.”

“Yaudah we eat chicken noodles yes, incidentally Brother has a chicken noodle shop subscription. But the place is in a small alley that, only street vendors who open the stall in front of his house,” said Bang Raihan.

“Perfect Bang. It's not even so noisy the place is,” Kirana said.

“Totally? Your stomach is sensitive Deck.”

“Originally the place is clean no problem Bang,” said Kirana.

Kirana and Raihan then immediately headed to the location. Once there, Raihan ordered. He ordered a jumbo for her and a normal one for Kirana. I don't know what Raihan wants to talk about, but the guy says he's just gonna talk after they're done eating. When eating they were busy discussing about the romance of Bang Adnan who suddenly wanted to wear bright tosca colored clothes that were clearly not the taste of Bang Adnan.

“Kirana..., Brother wants to ask you,” said Raihan who started serious.

“Tany Bang,” replied Kirana.

“On our relationship, Brother does intend to wait for you until ready to receive Brother but like parents Brother is not ready to wait that long,” said Bang Raihan a little hesitant.

“If the matter of that Kirana herself is also the same. Papa always asks when Brother will come home, but Kirana is confused Kirana is ready yet to receive Abang,” said Kirana.

“What makes you doubt Deck? Let Brother get that doubt out of your heart,” asked Bang Raihan.

“Astagfirullah Dek, does Abang still lack to prove himself that Brother is sincere with you? You know and understand exactly what has happened to you. Brother is also the one who investigated your case to completion. After all it wasn't your fault Dek, it was a disaster.”

“So you really want to accept Kirana who was someone else?”

“You are not a former Kirana, you are a woman, a person, not an item. Never say you are old. For your brother it is still clean. Instead Abang thinks, with your experience in the past, you will be able to be a good mother for your children later, for your daughter,” said Bang Raihan.

“Truly Bang?”

“Bener Deck, Brother did not dare to lie with you,” said Bang Raihan.

Kirana was silent for a while and forced Raihan to speak again to remove the silence, “If you want to accept Brother, Abang promised not to impose your same will. The issue of rights and obligations of husband and wife Brother will only always involve you in all decisions,” said Bang Raihan.

“Then, Kirana asked for a little more time to think this is Bang. 3 days only, Kirana will answer Brother. Forgive Kirana Bang,” said Kirana.

“Don't apologize too often Kirana, you don't like. I understand your condition,” said Raihan.

***

It's been a while since Kirana can't sleep. He kept thinking about whether to accept Bang Raihan or stick with his past. If she agreed to Bang Raihan's invitation to marry, then Kirana would save many people. The relationship between his family and Bang Raihan's family will not be strained. Bang Adnan himself did not need to be awkward with Bang Raihan.  But he would sacrifice his whole life for just this one decision.

If Kirana took a step to wait for Keenan who was somehow where and how she was, she would sacrifice a lot of people. Not only Bang Adnan will be even worse to see his condition that is not able to escape the shackles of the past, but also about his own fate that will somehow in the future. The hope is too small to be together again with Keenan even though Kirana actually still keeps everything neat about him in her heart.

“Kirana..., Deck, you haven't woken up baby?” asked Mama who kept knocking on Kirana's room door.

“Dek Kirana?” call Mama again.

“What's Ma?”

“Eh Brother, sorry Mama so wake you up. This is your sister who is almost 9 hours not awake yet. No morning prayers, no breakfast. Mom was afraid there was nothing. These few days your sister is cuddled, even Mama feels Kirana is avoiding Papa and Mama,” said Mama.

“Kirana? This deck Brother,” said Adnan co-calling Kirana.

Because several times knocking did not get a response, Adnan was forced to break down his sister's room. He did not care about the door, all he cared about was the condition of his sister. As soon as she and Mama entered, they found Kirana sleeping quietly on her bed but her entire body was covered in cold sweat.

“Yes Allah your body is very hot dear,” said Mama.

“Ma, we take Kirana to the hospital yes,” Adnan said.

Upon hearing the word of the hospital, Kirana refused. She quickly held Mama's hand and pleaded not to be taken to the hospital. He hates the smell of ethanol, he hates needles that penetrate his skin, he also hates all things hospital-related.

“No papa Mama who accompany, would ya? Promises are only checked not until staying at the hospital,” said Mama.

“Mama said so at home too if the doctor asked Kirana nginap Mama would be yes. Kirana does not want Ma, anyway Kirana does not want,” said Kirana.

“From when did you try to get sick rich gini Dek, jeez. Why didn't you say it anyway. Kan Abang has already said, if there is any story,” said Adnan slightly scolded his sister.

“Abang don't get angry dong, my head gets dizzy,” said Kirana almost cried.