Blue Berets
47. For the Beloved
Kirana had been in the operating room all night, and today she still had to spend in the ICU room with various tools that Raihan himself did not know what it was. Not much different fate with his little daughter, Amira. The tiny 2.3kg baby had to fight for survival in an incubator. In his small nose Raihan can see a tube that penetrates into his body due to the baby's breath that has not been spontaneous. Already so, on his chest is also attached heart recording device that continues to make a sound that hears it alone can make Raihan's life feel separated from his body.
Dizziness in his head was no longer felt. He only continued to chug down the medicine he bought from the pharmacy whenever the throbbing taste in his head was unbearable. Raihan is already wearing sterile clothes, a mask and latex gloves preparing to enter the ICU and accompany Kirana as the throbbing in her head leaves her unconscious.
"There is a blockage of blood vessels in your head. My advice, you are also being treated intensively here. I will schedule an X-ray more thoroughly so that we know if there are other injuries in your head,” said the doctor who handles Raihan.
“No doc. No need,” Raihan said.
“Pak, don't be like this. Blockage of blood vessels in the brain can be fatal. Not just blindness or paralysis. You can also lose lives if this is not treated immediately,” refer to a doctor.
“No doctor, I'm sure I'll be fine. My wife's son is in critical condition. No one is looking after them both. If I am sick how will I take care of my family?”
“It is precisely Mr. Raihan, you must be treated immediately so that the symptoms do not endanger your own life,” said the doctor.
“Then if I want to be in surgery, what percent of the chances are I can get back together? Is there any guarantee my son and wife are still here during that time? I better not have the operation, even though my life is short but at least I can still spend it with my wife's child. I beg the doctor to understand, for me at this time every second that rolls is very valuable doc,” said Raihan was unable to hold back his tears again.
“Alright, if that is your decision. I will prescribe medication in the hope that the blockage will heal by itself provided you never skip to consume the drug. Because actually your body is currently no different from a time bomb,” said the doctor again.
“Good doc, thank you,” replied Raihan.
...***...
A month ago, baby Amira's condition improved and was brought home by Raihan. He left his favorite daughter to both parents while he still had to take care of Kirana who was not yet willing to open his eyes. In addition to his work that began to mount, the pain in his head also began to bother him.
This afternoon after work, Raihan was able to hear the princess cry even before he could get inside the house. Raihan immediately entered, washed his hands and then took Amira from the arms of his grandmother who was confused because her grandson had refused to drink milk since noon.
“Amira, same miss Mama ya. hmm? I'll see Mama Yuk, yes. But Amira has to drink milk first, do not make Mama sad,” said Raihan slowly stuffing a pacifier containing formula into the small mouth of Amira.
Slowly the little princess began to finish her milk. Slowly but surely, Amira fell asleep still in her father's warm embrace. Raihan put Amira in her crib and walked into the bathroom. At least with a splash of water from the shower he can regain the strength to hold back his tears.
"Han, you want to take Amira to the hospital?" Ask Mama.
"So soon Ma, pity her miss Mama," said Raihan.
"But if I don't take her to the hospital, Amira won't be able to sleep Ma. Hearing Amira's cry from her mother it felt like my life had been taken off the tip of my head" Raihan said.
"Han, you always make sure the condition of your child and wife is fine but what about your own condition? Papa knows you're sick but you hide it from your in-laws and your brother-in-law" Papa said.
"Well, how do you know from where?"
"It's not important Papa knows where. But try to think Han, if you're up to anything then what about Kirana and Amira? They both need you as a pillar of support. You are the leader of your family. If you're not okay then how will your family be okay? You yourself are the one who told Papa you want to be a figure who can protect and can be respected by your children and wives. Prove it was Raihan, be a man worthy of Kirana and Amira" Papa said.
"Keep I should what Pa? Look at my wife lying helpless and my daughter who keeps looking for her mother, should I think of myself when my two gems are struggling between life and death? They do need me Pa, which is why I refused the treatment to accompany them both. I don't want to lose my time with them. My life is now on the cutting edge of Pa. I could lose my wife at any time, then if when I go through the treatment Kirana goes I will live in such deep regret. I am alive but not alive Pa" said Raihan, who was no longer able to support his body. That's when she heard Amira crying. Mama swiftly helps Raihan take Amira from her crib, changing her wet diaper and taking her out to be carried by her Papa.
“I haven't even been able to hug her for long. I don't even mind if I just have to exchange my life for the recovery of both of them. I'm sorry your son Pa, I'm not the kid you've been proud of. I'm nothing more than a coward who can only shut up and hope for a miracle. Pa, Ma, if someday comes the time Raihan goes, please let it go. Thank Kirana and Amira like Papa and Mama received Raihan,” Raihan said.
“Han, what are you talking about? Naw. You're Mama's son, you're Mama's hotshot. You're gonna be fine. No matter what, you will still be fine. Don't tell me so Raihan you scared Mama,” Mama said.
“Mama, do you remember when Raihan told Mama about Kirana for the first time? I remember what Mom said at the time. The highest level of loving someone is when we can sincerely find happiness even if not with us. Mama asked Raihan to send Kirana off. Raihan sincerely Ma, Raihan has declared Kirana whatever is best for her. If he had to go at least he did not go through too much torment, but if Raihan had to go Raihan would have accepted. Provided Kirana and Amira remain happy,” Raihan said.
“Amira Dhananjaya Yumna, she's my daughter Ma. She is the jewel of my heart and Kirana. Whatever happens, he's still Papa and Mama's granddaughter. Please love her and give her granddad and granddad affection for her granddaughter. If Kirana will someday marry again, Papa and Mama need to remember if in this person flows the blood of Raihan's son Papa and Mama,” said Raihan.
“Your decision is too extreme Raihan. What if God takes you both? Who will Amira live with? Tega you let your daughter live without the presence of her parents?”
“If Kirana and I both go, give Amira to Adnan and Lucy. I'm sure the two of them will take care of Amira at their best. They are a married couple, but both are not given a momongan even though they really want to. If Kirana and I leave, they will love Amira like their daughter. I'm sure,” Raihan said.
“Nak, do the same Mama. Let's go for treatment for you. Don't be like this Raihan. This is your name you kill Mama slowly,” said Mama.
“Raihan won't have the heart to kill Mom. Come on Ma, Raihan's time is not long. Raihan knows Raihan's body is like a time bomb that can explode at any time. Ma, Pa, pretend you don't know like before. Raihan does not want to leave a trace of sadness in the hearts of Papa and Mama. Raihan wants to be the little prince of Papa and Mama again. Think of this as Raihan's last request,” Raihan said.
“Already. Stop your crying, look at that your daughter's scared look at her cry. You will always be your little prince. You will forever be the pride of Papa, there or absence of you here you will always have a place in the heart of Papa and Mama,” said Papa trying to strengthen his son.
Papa and Mama do not know for sure what disease is gnawing on the body of his son, but when Mama finds a trashy tissue with blood stains from a trash can in Raihan's room, Papa and Mama find out that the disease is not a messy disease. Moreover, Papa this morning had seen Raihan nosebleed and with a very pale face was seen to withstand the pain in his head while chugging a few grains of medicine.
