Aretta & Secrets

Silly Crying

I didn't curl up for long on the floor because when I was body, there was a pair of hands holding it. The hand that pulled me into her arms and the hand that helped calm me when great emotions overpowered me.

"Aretta" whispered the voice and it belonged to Aidan, "he's gone." I opened my eyes and found Aidan looking at me full of worry.

Wh why? Why is Aidan staying? Are all the things I told you just the wind then that Papa doesn't need to hear. What he thinks my life is just a joke so that what I experience is like a natural thing and does not need to be exaggerated. Why do I feel that I am not wanted by anyone. Is this the life that has been arranged for me?

I cried bitterly still do not accept this situation. Aidan is still here hugging me and calming me who is still sobbing badly. Almost ten minutes I cried in his arms and when I was calm, I quickly broke away from Aidan. I looked around the room. We were still in the lab where we had last gathered with the other members, but unfortunately it was just me and Aidan because the other group had gone to the next destination.

Aidan must have rated me as a pathetic figure. Though I've been lousy hiding about the damage to my life, but it was all in vain when I came back to see Papa. The thing that was supposed to be a secret was already exposed and it was in front of Aidan, my own teacher.

I'm still down. Still not ready to get a look of pity from Aidan and coinciding with that, he reached out his hand to wipe away the tears that fell onto my cheek.

"Aretta," he whispered very quietly, "look at me." He demands gently that makes me obey. I looked at her face and she was stunned to get that look.

"I'm here." He reassured me. Not a look of pity or concern, but a gentle look she gave me. The look that says if everything is going to be okay and it really makes me relieved.

I am glad that this time I am not alone. There was someone else who wanted to help and extend his hand to me, but I never asked.

"I'm here Aretta" she whispered again, hugging me tightly.

***

I was feeling better and immediately invited him to stand up from the spot. We are unlikely to cuddle for a long time because other than this space is not ours, such a position is also uncomfortable if done for a long time.

I first got up and then Aidan got up. I've been feeling calm thanks to Aidan and now all I do is wipe away the tear marks that flowed with my sweater sleeve. The scene coincided with Papa returning to the laboratory. He was standing near the door with an appearance that was already very different to the last one I remembered.

Behind the lab coat he was wearing, Papa was wearing a blue cloth shirt with black pants, and there was one thing that caught my attention from all the things that stuck in him. A necklace. The same necklace that was like a lecture before he left me.

Papa stood at the door squeezing his hand and stepped nervously towards me. He stayed for a long time before he let out his voice to speak to me. It seems Papa only anticipates if at any time his sentence is cut off by me.

"Son?" he said with a ticking and nervous voice, "Papa mau-... Can we talk to you both?" tanyakanya.

I was silent for a moment but had to decide quickly. If I say 'yes' there will be more pain I will receive because at that time I will find out the reason behind Papa's departure and the reason why he did not contact me, but if I refuse, I'll keep wondering why and why it happened.

For years I lived in injustice and now when the answer will be given, I find it hard to decide. I was still standing still on the spot, but Aidan pushed my body forward hinting that I would listen and speak directly to Papa. Really speaking both ways, it's not like I'm the only one talking.

"You should talk to your Papa. I know a lot of things you want to ask and today the opportunity came. Remember, I will be here and I will wait until your conversation is over" he whispered in my ear as he pushed me closer to Papa.

I turned to her for a moment, then nodded in response and now I actually stepped myself towards the place where Papa was standing. Seeing me approaching makes Papa smile. He stepped up first and led me out of the lab. Now Papa took me into his room. He turned a sign indicating that inside here someone was discussing something important. The point is like that.

I shuffled towards the sofa facing off against another small sofa but separated by a table on which contained several empty cups. Papa was sitting right across from me. He bent slightly until his elbow could rest on his knee. We both kept quiet and waited for one of us to speak first. Papa's fist hardness is decreasing on me and it seems that this time Papa has to budge.

"It's time you knew what was really going on, as well as the reason why I left and never told you. What happened is not what you think." He said slowly as if he knew what I was thinking. For a decade we had not met and it was impossible for what I thought to be written clearly on my face. I just sighed softly and enjoyed the voice of Papa that I still miss a lot. Her voice was still the same as when she read me a fairy tale when I was a child before going to bed.

I'm just a normal human being and have very unstable emotions. If I follow the ego, of course I will be angry and keep Papa quiet, because after all all all the cruelty I received was because of him. Right, if he hadn't left, I wouldn't have gotten any verbal or non-verbal abuse from Mama.

I was not angry, only disappointed and disappointment was channeled through my silence. It's just that every human has a chance. Just like Gio who wants to change, surely Papa also has his own reasons why he would do that.