Aretta & Secrets

Luka

I woke up because the sunlight that rose in the rainy season flowed warmly until it hit my skin. Fresh air also flowed in through the cracks of the window that I had not been able to open. I got out of my bed and walked towards the large glass window that was installed pretty there, I quickly shifted the curtains that dispelled the sunlight and began to open the knob so that fresh air could fill my bedroom which began to feel cramped.

I glanced at the clock on the wall with a picture of a panda hanging pretty on the wall. At exactly 6:10. I still have about thirty minutes to prepare.

As usual every morning I would watch the hustle and bustle in the morning through my bedroom window. The routine I've always done since the rainy season. I would normally spend time jogging, but the erratic weather and sometimes the rain that came without permission discouraged me and chose to remain faithful here.

Seeing the busyness of people passing by became my favorite thing. I imagine having such a life, away from problems, away from bad thoughts, and away from anger. But it seemed hard because it wasn't cold Eve breaking through my thin layer of pajamas, which instantly made me run back to my bed and get under the covers. While enjoying the remaining warmth by tucking the blanket under my chin. Then I also faced the window and got sunlight hitting the side of my face. I took a deep breath to breathe back the fresh oxygen I could only get in the morning. Somehow it felt fresh flowing into my lungs making me think positively. I hope today will be okay, hopefully my hope will be fulfilled.

A breeze scrambled into my room, swept my face and made me shiver. The feathers on the dream catcher hanging on the window also swayed frenziedly. Finally it did another useful thing because as long as I adopted it he never warded off all the nightmares that came to me. Five minutes passed and the gentle breeze turned even louder making my idol posters stuck on the wall sway. Some parts of the corner were detached and inevitably I moved to the bedside to save them.

Almost the poster floated smoothly down and smashed the parts that should not be destroyed. I put the poster back on the table and stepped quickly to the window to close it. Grain of water was present when the window was not yet closed perfectly. Finished with meaningless activities, I immediately stepped out of the room and walked into the bathroom. As soon as my feet squeaked on the floor I knew what would happen next.

"Surge no loe! The first kid who should use the bathroom first!" screams loud. He was my first brother whose age was only two years above me. He shouted from the end of the hallway which was only five steps away, like I couldn't hear him if he spoke softly.

And as expected, Gio came and immediately stormed in and pushed me aside to the wall to leave a thumping sound, he grumbled violently when he was with me, "Gehalangin the way you know?"

I breathed a rough breath. This is not the first time and I should also have gotten used to this kind of insult. I am 17 years old now and where I used to be I have always been insulted and ridiculed, although it is undeniable that it hurt my heart but I still try hard because it does not only happen at home school I became the subject of bullying.

I hope the new place now doesn't repeat the old memories I've been trying to bury. I want to face new life with a new spirit.

Since applying a healthy diet and also exercise routine all stubborn fats in my body slowly fade. I feel healthy and can move more widely because I do not have a heavy burden anymore.

"Your mother has transferred your school. And this is your last chance, Mama hope you can be more mature by not making trouble at school" he said without taking his eyes off me

I don't know the end that meant the end of my education or the end of my life. I nodded and did not dare to open my mouth for fear of making the mistake of saying unimportant sentences, because every sentence from my mouth would end in a snatch.

After a few minutes of silence, Mama finally nagged again, this time nagging about my whereabouts that were not really needed in this house.

Twenty minutes passed, Gio finally came out of the bathroom. The hot steam popped out, the scent of cologne she used along with my sense of smell.

"Well, what the hell do you use to shower all? The smell of the loser in your body will not go away" said Gio as he passed me with a towel wrapped around his waist. He stepped into his room. Saying his words is tantamount to provoking my emotions.

I quickly stepped into the bathroom, locked the door, and took off my clothes. I rubbed the misty mirror with my dry hand. There I could see my reflection. I used to be severely obese, because my fat and ugly body everyone was disgusted by me. Including my own family. Having so much ridicule and insults made me almost give up on life. Moreover, no one was on my side.

I finally decided to go on a healthy diet. It was not easy because I decided to give up many times, but thanks to the insults from Gio I again instilled a new spirit. I want to prove to them that I too can turn out to be beautiful.

I now have the ideal body weight. My face was not full of pimples. I can be tall-hearted because I've changed, but it seems like my change remains a scourge worth talking about. Even mama and Gio did not congratulate me on my achievement. I did not expect more but at least I wanted them not to be cold and rude to me anymore. If it's that hard to accept me, just assume I don't exist and don't make bad comments so I don't get more crazy every day.

But it seems like it's just my hope.