Aretta & Secrets

Draws

As soon as the class ended, we rushed out of the class. I put on my backpack fast and it accidentally got my ribs punctured by elbows. The pain came and made me stop for a moment. My sloppiness made me stay longer in class.

I sighed softly and continued my delayed activities. Being here for too long is what makes me even more suffocated because Mr. God is not stopping to pay attention to me which makes me even more uncomfortable.

As soon as we walked out I immediately felt an euphoria of relief that could not be expressed. I feel free from heavy burdens. As soon as we got out we both immediately looked for a place to rest. Tell stories, joke, and joke just to spend more time together.

Time off after me and Rafa finally had to separate. She has a Language class after this while I have to go to Art class.

"Well the children of the assignment that Miss gave last Sunday please put on the table and collected when the lesson is over. And today's assignment, you have to paint the people you love. It can be a parent, a brother, an uncle, an aunt or anyone else as long as you can draw them on paper." Miss Nisa raised her paper up as a gesture.

And I can just stay in place. I have neither the person I love nor the person who loves me. I don't even know who my aunt and uncle are. Fate seemed to laugh at my misfortune. I don't know if a task can make me feel cornered just because nothing comes into my head to be the object of the picture.

It's sad indeed but at least I don't feel the heartache when the person I love has to leave. At least enough for Papa.

"Aretta's. Why haven't you started drawing? Is something wrong? You just have to draw the person you love. You can also draw pictures of your ex-boyfriend, maybe by drawing pain you can fade slowly." Miss Nisa is already standing next to me and giving advice. I nodded slowly and smiled at him.

Lately I've been smiling and nodding as if I'm a robot programmed to approve all the advice others give me. And I think that's progress. I don't know what made me change like this, but I was a person who would just be silent without daring to answer the wishes of others.

Looks like I should draw that figure. Papa's figure slowly faded away. Classes lasted for hours and there was no way I would be here without drawing anything, although it was difficult but I would still try to draw Papa's figure

The thing I remember the most before her oergi was her wide smile. My papa has a beard that is filled with the typical sideburns of westerners and large stature. With his appearance like that is not uncommon the neighbors are still confused how to communicate with Papa who incidentally has lived there long enough.

What would have happened to me if I had met Papa again. Am I going to cry? Or will I get angry and moan? Will I ever be defensive because he's gone and never looked for me? I don't know what I'll do later. I think what Mama did was the same as what Papa did, even though the man didn't hit me but he didn't look for me either. The sense of being ignored was clearly accepted as if I was indeed a human being that was unwanted by the two of them

I turned my body back to assess my image. Pretty good but something is lacking. I went back to digging up my memories of the man, but there was nothing I could find as if his form had been completely erased from my mind. I brought my head closer to look and slightly sighed in annoyance next. I forgot a necklace that she always remembered as well as a scar on her forehead that she got after she saved Gio from the stone throw that her schoolmate threw. I felt emotional because until that far I forgot the small details that I always remember even when I described Papa

Without feeling my tears flow slowly. I rubbed my cheeks because I didn't want people to find me crying. I don't want everyone to see me at my lowest point because I miss Papa. It coincided with the bell ringing. I immediately rushed to leave my duty and ran towards the toilet while carrying my backpack. I went into one of the cubicles and started letting my tears flow.

It felt so crowded because I could only hold it in silence. The pain also spread until I got two wounds that were difficult to heal. I wanted to stop but I couldn't, all I could do was keep crying.

I don't know how long I've been crying. I just let myself feel relieved and then immediately went out to smash my face. When I look at my face in the mirror, I feel silly. Why would such a trivial matter make me do such a stupid thing like crying? What's wrong with me?

Since it was not possible to take classes, I could only wait here at the end while letting my eyes not seem too swollen. The fact that I cry is a shameful thing if it is known to others.

The sound of footsteps approaching made me look out. I immediately went into the room and acted as if I wasn't there. I locked my lips tightly so that no one would notice if there was another figure here as well.

"Have you seen Aretta? The new kid. She's like a hoodie guy" Jess's voice and she's certainly not alone. But what makes me a little confused is when he talks about me. Where would I be if I was wearing a hoodie? I immediately lowered my head to look at the hoodie I was wearing and frowned slightly as my former mascar stuck to his collar.

"Gue doesn't like him. He was very fond of me crunching when I was busy studying with Mr. God," his voice sounded excited that made my focus back to their conversation.

He said as if he was really learning. What he did was not study, they did taboo and pervert things at school.