The Pain of Loving in Silence

Episode 8 The spirit of life

" According to my request to the cia, he also arranged my home school schedule.

So this morning I had home schooling hopefully not so boring.

....kring..kring,

"the sound of my cell phone, I passed and picked it up.

Hello,,,,, hello,,,,

"honey.....

" i miss you so much, how is Mom doing right now?

" of course I'm okay, how about you, baby?

" I'm fine Mom..

" what about your husband?

" he's fine mom, he's currently on a business trip to Qatar as well as meeting his parents.

" oh thank goodness...

" what about your study?

" " everything's okay mom.

" okay then I'll call you next time, finish your study and go to university .

" well mom, I said.

Tut.

sound disappears behind the phone .

hmmmmmm

a phone call from my mother, who asked me about my situation.

of course everything's fine.

But it's a pity that no one asked me what I feel right now, all just busy with their respective activities.

" My life has changed drastically, no more celebrations in it...

I'm 17 now but there are no candles or birthday cakes, and no words at all.

" well well, all will pass with time.

"Even Noldipun has no news.

..............

" i have to grow well so that I can be strong in my life.

ahhhhhh......

But I never regretted my decision to marry Noldi, at least it was my dream of the past few years that I could make it happen.

I no longer want to be a swimming athlete. Even I've learned to forget my memories of him, the sooner it gets the better for us.

"Cia.come...

" she's a miss, she said as she walked up to me.

" If your master asks me to tell him that I'm fine . whatever is asked says everything is in control.

" well miss.

" go and prepare dinner I'm so hungry.

"The day goes by so fast it doesn't feel like the night is coming, making the lagit outside very dark but luckily the lagit has a loyal friend, there are moons and stars that always make it special..

 hmmmmmmm....

" well, whatever tomorrow may be more beautiful for me.

" lady..the food is ready, baikla cia ..

" i passed by to finish my activities today, with dinner and rest in my beautiful sleep.

I'm used to eating lonely and of course sleeping alone.

"Fortunately from the beginning I have prepared myself for all the conditions that I will experience later.

" And remember, I never regretted my decision to marry her.

" Slowly my circumstances changed me from a cheerful girl to a flat, expressionless girl.

" From now on I'm putting together all my plans for the future, while forgetting everything.

If I had to let go then I wouldn't do it because I didn't love her anymore, but I wanted her to later realize that ,I spend a lot of my time fighting for my feelings without thinking about my time wasted on my feelings.

"My heart has a lot of space in it and all the space in it is now beginning to fill with my ambition .

"To live and create a world that I feel more comfortable in order to have satisfaction in it.

"I was happy in my own way, with no one asking me if I was okay.

slamat malam.