The Pain of Loving in Silence

Episode 37 of NGIDAM

"The greatest regret in life is not that you let go of something that you love so much, but the greatest regret in life when you deprive someone of the right to life that is completely innocent".

At 07:00

    It feels very different today, according to the results of yesterday's examination it is true that I am pregnant, regardless of my thoughts yesterday about the fate of this fetus, so I decided consciously to take care of it for the rest of my life,I will promise to be a good mother and be worthy of being a mother for her whether or not the father figure for her will not be a problem for me.

 Slowly but surely there are many things that change with my physical at this time, starting from the portion of food, my sensitive part, especially the chest, also shows changes that are increasingly painful and getting bigger, he said,but the doctor said this is common in pregnant women.

My extended family does not know about my current situation, maybe I will tell them the situation later.

    Right now all I think about is focusing on starting a florist business and also focusing on my content,I don't want to be short of money because right now it's not just me who needs the cost but there is a baby in my womb who needs more attention.

Dizziness and nausea are often felt as in general, but it is fortunate that not as bad as people cravings in general are very troublesome, as if this baby really understands the condition of his mother.

Only at night was there anything strange that I felt, I could not sleep without smelling the scent of noldi,so it is very helpful for me to use kak noldi's clothes as a pillow alan to sleep so that the aroma can take me to sleep,aromatherapy like medicine for me at night when gelisa approached me.Entah where he is at this time, I honestly love him very much but also do not want to torture myself because my feelings are too deep for him.

 8:30 at

I decided to look around the exact shop area I rented to open my flower shop business.

This flower shop business is a business of choice that I want to start because I love plants because when I was in high school, Kak Noldi once gave me a bouquet of flowers when I was 16 years old,at an age where I had greatly admired his charisma, all that was in him was a magnet that managed to attract me to this second, until I forced myself to have it, he said,and even I can have this little noldi growing in my womb.

God's plan is very beautiful, I can't have noldi but I have a little noldi that will be a symbol of my love of death for him.Life might laugh at this stupid me, who is very enslaved by love, who is very enslaved by love,but I'm a caca, I love one forever.

Finally, after quite a long way around the end, I found a small shop on the corner of a very strategic road to open a flower shop, where the street is very rame passed and also not far from the city park,where every day many couples who spend leisure time with their partners there.Kuput decided to take the name contact listed on the paper stamped on the door of the store, later I will call while negotiating about the rental price,hope you get a good price.

Finally at home too, although very tired but I am very satisfied at least starting tomorrow I am ready to settle my business needs, he said,starting from the name of the store and its needs and well tomorrow I will start by preparing the planting medium in the backyard ,so before entering the store the flowers will be planted and cared for during his age is ready to sell then it will be displayed in the store.

    Today I want to eat star fruit, must how this, should where I look for it, if this is in my country then it is very easy to get it, unfortunately this is in London, London,did I ask for help only frans, besides the trust of kak noldi and would be willing to obey what I ordered.

"kring......kring..................

"hello, answered the voice over there

"hello brother francs, here I am, my neighbor

"hello, what's the matter, madam called me, is there anything the madam needs?

"frans, I am not your mistress anymore, so please call me caca , oh even though you work with kak noldi but you are also a person who knows me very well, right?

"well, caca, what's the call? are you all right?tansy

"frans, right now I need 1 kilo of star fruit and I don't know where to look ?can you help me?

"hmmmmmmmmmmm, alright caca, I'll find it after I come from the office I'll stop by to bring it for you, but why look for leatherback so much? the tank is full of research

"later home I'll be clearin, baby frans.

"tuts...........