The Pain of Loving in Silence

Episode 45 Because being happy is simple

"If you knew how I felt right now, you might as well smile like me

this, I'm happy God, I'm so happy God, if I have to be selfish I want this forever. Love don't leave again, I'm afraid if I can't find you again".

"Honey, today we go to the hospital to do a gynecological examination well, as well as find a doctor

to take care of you during pregnancy.

"but........sister, brother is still tired, why shouldn't we do the examination tomorrow? my bargain is that, brother Noldi was only here for a day, of course he's still tired.

"It's a shame that we have to consult as soon as possible, not only about your content but also there are other things that you should ask the doctor, he said with a smile looking at me.

"At once my heart was beating fast, while blushing in shame, because I know now brother Noldi trying to hold back

she didn't follow her desire to touch me more like usual.

All right, brother sahutku, briefly.

"Let's get ready, we'll leave in an hour, and pass from room to floor

elementary.

Immediately I prepare myself, to catch up with him, because I know brother Noldi does not like to wait long.

Brother,ayo said as I headed towards Brother Noldi who had been waiting from earlier,

"dear baby, be careful, do not step in a hurry later you slip.

I stepped up excitedly, for this was the first time I did a pregnancy check, accompanied by my husband, while smiling happily I sat sweetly beside him.

While on the way to the hospital, kak Noldi played some very romantic music, while slowly driving the vehicle, holding my hand and kissing it.

"Honey.......

"he's my brother, my brother

"Are you happy to be pregnant with our child?

"Of course I'm very happy brother, did you ask me like that? I turned around to ask curiously.

"Dear you are still very easy, your age is still 19 years, at this time you should enjoy your days like a girl your age,get together with friends and also go on vacation all the places you like, but in reality you have to experience all this.

"Sister......... Does the foot love me? my question with a slight tremble, almost my tears dripped remembering the question of brother Noldi earlier, as if there were doubts in his heart about our relationship.

"Caca, you know from my teens and brother teo has been good friends, even until adulthood we are interconnected in work, long before I know you kak teo already know me well, You can ask me anything about him, if you want to know directly from me about whether I love you or not, I find it hard to answer because what I did when I was away from you was excruciating, I know you're very spoiled but I don't know when I started when I didn't hear your voice there was pain I felt,I may not be like a man out there who understands too much about love but rest assured having you in my life is my greatest joy.

"Sister, if there's any attitude I have that makes you uncomfortable, just say I'll fix it.

"unfortunately everything you've done up to this point is still natural to me, I understand that, But what about your current circumstances, if you're not strong enough to have a child right now we can think about it again,I'm afraid it'll make you very sick.

"hearing noldi's words, like that, made me take my hand out of his grasp, out of annoyance I turned my face out of the window, trying to hold my tagis while holding my breath, all the bad thoughts crossed my mind, I was wondering what the max was of Brother Noldi's words.

"ca.

"but I felt at home looking out the window, for powerless to hold back the pain of my heart.

"ca.

"What's up ? brother wants what else, I know maybe me and this child is not important for brother, maybe we are a barrier in the life of brother, especially if you think about aborting my baby,then kill me let me go with my son, let brother be satisfied.

"ca....

"but what, my brother without surgery, brother is afraid if there is this baby then brother will not be free to go to work and do not remember back, if it wants brother, leave us and do not come back again,I can take good care of my son later without the help of my brother.

"ca.

"but I still vent my frustration.

"ca.ca.caca, snapped noldi, made me stop talking, pulled the car over to the side of the road noldi pulled me into his arms....while hugging me and rubbing my head while kissing my forehead and stroking my stomach which is still flat.Silver only fear you will be in pain and also tired later, too, getting pregnant is not as easy as you think many things that you fear you are not mentally prepared for.

"sister.....do you ever know how much I want to have children? I remember when I was 17 we almost had it but, because my stupidity made it fall and now we have it again, and I don't want it to happen again,if you are not ready to leave us, my brother in a firm voice.

"Darling....you know far from what you think I also want us to have children soon, but given your circumstances many things make me feel anxious.

"What are you worried about, aren't you afraid that I can't take care of our child? chink-bung

"that's not it baby, but I'm afraid you don't have much time to yourself.

"sister, did you ever know , what efforts did I do to be able to have children soon? Before we had a relationship at that time when my sister wanted to leave, from far away I had consumed many kinds of fertilizing supplements even to booster drugs, the content, it was so uncomfortable every day taking the drugs, but my throat was so strong, and why I was so upset when my brother chose to go abroad to take care of work and leave me at that time,because I was afraid that my efforts had been in vain, I said as I sobbed in his arms, a hug that made me very comfortable.

"Sorry, because you're too busy to make you like this, but if you've decided to do this big thing, you won't follow what you want,but you should know brother happy soon brother become a father.Trank you dear, while peeping my forehead.

"While smiling I hugged Brother Noldi, my brother loved you very much.

"I don't know, without you even saying it, you know, you've been crazy about me since you were a teenager, she smiled proudly.

"hearing that remark made my cheeks flushed red, because it was true, considering all my silly behavior just to be able to get close to him first.

"Let's go on again, just a little while to the hospital.