The Pain of Loving in Silence

Episode 35 A tired heart

"A life is given not without reason all born in this life has its limits although sometimes the selfishness to have it all and transcend boundaries often creates heartbreaking divisions".

At 16:30

The world seems to want to leave me alone, so lonely my life is, my mom, dad and brother are so busy with all the affairs of their lives, and what about me who is here alone?, who misses me? has anyone asked me how I feel right now?

It may be true that if you have happiness then remember that all the happiness that is in your life there will be a time, where one by one the happiness that surrounds you will slowly move away and disappear from view , ' he said ,either happiness is still there just can't you see from the point you are now.

  Being alone in the back of this house is my own entertainment,where there are many roses and also the sound of water from the fish pond and also the chirping of birds with their hearts perched on a tree while looking at me who was sad and seemed to keep asking what is it?

Brother Noldi will go again tonight and I don't know where, with whom, for what and when to return , all that only he knows and I don't have the right to ask him to explain.

Even though tonight he will leave me, but I am still happy at least when he returns he still has a little time to see me even though it is very torturous.Thinking noldi kak is indeed very draining .

"hm, what's the matter why you're here alone? as the saying unfolds my daydreams, and well that's brother noldi

"i just want to be here, I said without looking at him and staying focused on seeing fish swimming.

"honey, baby, are you sick?or do you want to tell me something?ask noldi while heading towards me and sit right next to me.

"no, I'm fine and there's nothing I want to tell you, I replied without turning my eyes towards her.

"i just slit my breath violently, trying to balance my feelings which made my tears still unstoppable.

"sister, if one day I can't see you anymore or you can't find me anymore, then sorry for everything I've done in my life,thank you for giving me the opportunity to really feel like I have a big sister in my life even though I'm basically not the woman you want to be, but all those opportunities are the best times of my life.

"caca..........What's the matter? why are you saying something like you're not talking? join noldi in a slightly irritated voice.

"well.this is my selfish laughter, if you want to go away from me again go away, and please never come back again, at this time all we have been through these two years is a forced state ,so let's go through life without interrupting each other, I beg you to let me live my life the way and the rest of my spirit I have. When you leave then forever my heart and soul and body will no longer have you and also at that time I will stop missing you, I just want this moment everything as usual. I said as I left without waiting for Brother Noldi to answer me.

"caca.......call noldi, who was left behind rushed me to the living room room room and locked the door, so that I would not see him again.

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17:00 at

 Not feeling the time pass so quickly, I who was tired of my cries fell asleep brought to the floor right in front of the door, and well it's time I prepare myself to face the cruel world against me.and sure enough noldi's gone, in the room there is no him and also the car is no longer there, no more,it means he has left me here and it means goodbye to my love and my world, so hopefully out there you find your happiness without any barrier like me, and I want to be happy with my life in the future.

It would be unfair to live if I was the only one who was tormented by loving and missing someone.

"if it is worth surviving then all that is yours then be a warrior for it".