The Pain of Loving in Silence

Episode 36 Two weeks passed

"A beautiful woman like me does not deserve to be sad let alone cry over all the things that hurt, I have to be happy, I said in the morning.

Living alone will not please you at this time I am very happy, this morning I just want to relax at home and after that I will learn to cook.

auhhhhhhhhhh, my head is very dizzy, like there is a lot of burden piling up, want to wake up but males bangettttttttt, but I had to lay my body again on this soft mattress to gather my energy to wake up but, but, I was forced to lay my body again on this soft mattress,suddenly I felt very hungry, and well I was forced to get up from the bed to go to the kitchen, looking for food that was ready to fill this stomach, he said,and this has been a week since the night of my brother Noldi's return I always feel my body is a bit tired and also I feel a little fat because every day my appetite increases, my appetite increases,and well that's not all I really miss smelling kak noldi's body odor, and well good thing before the departure of the jacket that is often used is still in the dressing closet, and,and without hypocrisy I kissed the shirt before going to bed and only then could I sleep well, if I remember all the events of that time,I was afraid that if the request of Brother Noldi that night really happened, I was afraid that if I was pregnant, I did not want it to happen again because I currently do not have any status with him anymore,I asked him to leave me.

    I don't want to get pregnant, because if that happens then I'm done, there's no time for me to be able to forget her, it all crossed my mind this morning, while opening the food cabinet, ' she said ,I saw there was strawberry jam and pineapple there, suddenly this saliva was very eager to taste it, I swiftly picked it up and brought it a dinner shirt, I quickly applied it to the bread and immediately ate it,after a few layers of bread were finished, I turned to the jam and again I wanted to eat it again, and I ate it using a spoon, when I ate it there was a sense of satisfaction that I felt.

There is the latest news at this time about my college, well at this time I am no longer eager to go to college and I apply for a leave of absence and well with his youth in the acc by the campus, the campus,because the reasons I have listed are very precise.

Right now I want to focus on the plan to open an ornamental plant business, where it is a very pleasant, where every day I can see beautiful flowers.

This afternoon I have an appointment with doctor Liliana Chan, she is an obstetrician, I want to make sure of my current situation, I am very afraid if I get pregnant, she said,so before it's too late I have to figure it out and hopefully what I'm afraid of doesn't happen. Momentary break.

At 18:00

Get ready to see doctor Liliana, no matter how good I am, I murmured in the day and trembled a little.

Drive your own car to the hospital, it feels fun free without burden, enjoy life.

"Dock's afternoon goal, my greetings upon entering the doctor's office Liliana,"

"for the afternoon, Miss Caca, today according to yesterday's agenda we will conduct a preliminary examination

"well, doc answered me, briefly

"hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, a little shy to answer. about two weeks later I had my period and two weeks ago I last had contact with my husband, very short of my answer, while blushing my face in view of the incident.

"alright miss Caca, please come with me and lie on this ward, we will do the ultrasound first to know the condition of the mother's uterus to ensure the condition of the mother from the symptoms that the mother described yesterday,and this is one way to make sure there are accurate results.

"without asking much, I just followed doctor Liliana's request, and immediately lay down.

 And finally the examination process was completed as well, and I followed doctor Liliana to her desk.

"take the caca, from the results of the examination can be ascertained in the womb mbak caca currently occurs the process of fertilization, where it is visible from the thickened uterine wall,and I will make a vitamin prescription as well as some capsule supplements for pregnant women and I hope that health and also should not be stressed and the next examination schedule is two weeks away.

"heard that, I instantly trembled, the thing I was afraid of finally happened, must be how this is? did I just throw it out or did I tell him or what? lordnnnnnnnnnnnn, shout me in the heart.

thank you doctor while taking the medicine recommended by the doctor lili I also moved from the room and immediately went home.

Like the nightmare of today's events, what should I do, why should this happen God,,,,,,,,,,,,, when I want to completely forget it.

What should I do, whether I should let this seed grow or I give it back to you, give me a clue.