SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

CHAPTERS. 6. DEFENDING WHAT IS MINE

“The tongue is sharp, the incision is able to leave deep wounds.Even though it heals the scars are still left behind. Can forgive not to forget, as a reminder where to know makes one day there is a new incision”

Feeling that someone touched my body, a hand lifted my body, instantly made me stagger in shock. Sharp look. I want him to know how much I hate him, because of the wounds he inflicted. Cut his hand

“Sorry I was forced to use a spare key I was afraid something” let go of the hand and took a step back sitting in front of me who was awake, I was still sitting on my prostration, this face is still attached.

“Indeed what will happen” my gaze is cynical, my hate has no cure, flowing with my blood fills this entire pore.

“Maybe an apology won't be able to erase my mistake.I realize, what I'm doing is hurting you a lot, and probably unforgivable. Say what I have to do so that you forgive me” every sentence he says sounds slow like there is regret there I do not know sincere or not.

“leave the woman, return as my husband, the man I love for my sake for the sake of our little family, I will assume what happened yesterday does not exist, I will forget it. I'll assume it never happened I promise” my voice is weakened, holding a lump of anger that settles in the chest. I hold on as much as I can, it's time for me to defend what's mine. There is no harm in trying nothing impossible, no, it is not too late. Defend what is mine.

“From yesterday you have not eaten, eat I have prepared porridge, want me to bribe”he diverts the conversation, my blood is boiling again want me to claw the man before me this. Sitting in front of me, his hands stirred the porridge with a spoon, the smoke billowing slowly.

“aku who made him” he said slowly attached to the bowl in his hand. I used to be happy to be fed, but now after what he's done.

I took the bowl in her hand, put it next to me, we sat on the floor under my room, as hard as I could keep my ego, humbling before my husband was my way of hoping for mercy before it was too late. Clasping both hands, looking into his eyes fixed, tears still wanted to pour out. The heat of the eyes held him. I take a slow breath pulling as hard as I can because this chest tightness feels squeezed.

“I beg you, leave the woman, I love you I promise I will be a good wife I will try, there is still time to cancel all please pity me, from the past until now there was not a single man of this world, the first and last amir, I will be more patient, more understanding, wiser, more wise, I will try to be the perfect wife for you, I promise, come back”, a line of words that I say, hoping that my husband will be touched.

“Give him what he wants just don't share your love, I don't care about this world that I want you to stay here and make me the only one in your life” my voice makes me clear I know that, my only hope is that one man in front of me is broken. Pulling my hand into his arms, I felt the beating of his heart trigger quickly I heard it. Something feels heavy.

“No need to change, be my present syafiraku, patient, kind, thoughtful and mature”

Her hand gently caressed my face-covered shoulder,

“But I cannot change my decision, my promise to him must be kept”his voice is heavily weakened, believe me the sentence he just said adds a deeper incision to the wound is still bleeding, pain really. Like a wound watered with vinegar acid.

“How about your promise to me mas?”. Still I hold the anger as hard as possible so as not to explode, not yet this is still negotiating my hopes are great so that mas amir cancel everything.

“I can accompany you from zero until now, life test beerumah we are able to pass all. Not me, but us. Right now I will deal with it myself, bear this bitterness myself because you will share it with other women” try my hardest so that mas amir changes his mind.

“I'll be fair to you”. Persistent with this man. I feel like I lost a person who never wanted to argue with me, from the past until now he always gave up but this.

“kanapa” my short sentence made my husband take a heavy and long breath.

“You mean so much in my life” his sentence is exposed. Still hugging me tightly

“doesn't it take just one woman in your life?”my voice is weakening

“you complement each other, you're a spoiled woman who depends on me a lot, that's what I like, that's what I love, and you are a strong woman independent and mature” swear by whatever word that comes out of her lips is able to melt my tears, hearing mas amir say his name just makes me sick, jealousy may be yes but it is more to hate and disgust.

“get out, there's nothing to argue about as hard as that your heart keeps that woman, the woman who comes in when you've got everything” hurts,,,,, that,,,, there will be no pain that can describe this pain. I sat away from the man who had just hit my dagger in my heart.

“Eat from yesterday you haven't eaten”take the porridge direct my mouthful spoon I pat it hard, clink sound spoon collided with ceramic, porridge splattered on the room floor.

“out...!!!!!” my loud voice screeching spilled the anger that from earlier racing wanted to get out.

“Don't mind me, do what you want to do” still in a loud voice. The tears flowing I don't care, my face and my eyes may be swollen I don't care. My disappointment will not prevent this.

“I'm sorry” that's all I caught after it was quiet, the sound of the room door was then captured the sense of hearing. The man left after cleaning the porridge with a tissue.

O Allah. What should I do, how can this man change in an instant. It's like I don't know him. He turned into another person in front of me. I lost a warm man. Who never argued with me. The gentle man who always calms.

There was still time, I rose to glance at the clock on the wall showing the number 10. Just sober, so much time I spent lamenting fate. Crying will not solve the problem, rushing to the bathroom. The stomach I didn't care about. The integrity of my household above everything else I would do, even embarrassing myself though, I did not want to share with anyone. Yeah, I'm greedy, selfish I don't care. If my husband can't let me down maybe that woman can, we're both women, her instincts might be touched.