SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

AMIR'S SUSPICIONS.

“Your body is with me but not with your heart, you have made a very solid separation wall. How can I fix everything when your heart doesn't want to anymore. You're just doing your duty as a wife, nothing more. I don't know what's keeping you alive while your heart wants to stay away. I'll fix everything, because my heart can't stay away from you”

AMIRS

Sunday, I should have been at home spending time with Rania, and my husband. But today I want to meet Kirana. My curiosity about monica or sri can't be contained anymore.

“here mom, look tuh” my daughter invites me into the room she used to occupy at home kirana. I was stunned, seeing the shape of the room had changed from the first time I saw it. Kirana followed us behind. While my husband was in the living room with Bang Raihan.

“all the toys are here ki,,, many more. you do not love the money spent Just to buy Rania”tanyaku toys on kirana.really I did not lie. Nice bed with Rania's favorite hello kitty character. All the dolls are neatly arranged on a large shelf that has a corner of the room. Dolls with a variety of characters and shapes. From the smallest to the largest. It's not like a bedroom, but it's more like a doll shop.

“nothing mbak, later it can be used by my son. All for fishing also to get pregnant quickly,, doain ya mbak.” there is nothing to suspect from kirana she remains relaxed as usual.

“amin..”kataku.

“but if your child will be a boy how, this toy will be all pink” replied me again, curious. Not weakening. salary of her husband kirana how much yes, until spent to buy toys Rania is not scolded as much raihan.

“hopefully my daughter chick let funny like Rania. But if not, it can be taken home Rania” replied kirana.

Why does my heart still reject Kirana's answer.

“this mother comes with Rania..”my daughter pulls my hand upstairs at Kirana's house. Rania took me to a large room with a size of 4x5. My eyes glared in disbelief I kept my mouth shut that was almost screaming. How not this is like a playground in the mall but a small version. Ball bath, mini trampoline. Mini balloon house, swing, and others.

“This is between aunty monica, same om,, why her name is Rania forgot bunda” Not finished my surprise my son's confession really makes me suspicious that Kirana knows about monica. I looked at Kirana's face full of probes. Surprisingly she casually smiled sweetly at Rania. I think he'd be nervous or scared to hide something this big.

“The name is monica, the stature is like sri, originally Rania called sri. Who owns this toy store, he brought himself here because I am a loyal customer, he said. I bought all these toys. What does fira suspect something?” hah, he asked back. There was nothing strange about his face.

Are there two monica, the one toy seller that one person GLOBAL GROUP.

The story of my husband and Kirana who can be trusted. Sri, who exactly?

“it's been a pity,, yuk, go home first he said Rania wanted to buy eskrim” my husband's soft voice, waking me up from daydreams about sri and two monica.

“already, thank you ki..don't get bored if diitipi Rania” I buy his shoulders soft. I don't know, my mind is still full of questions. Kirana's face was not hiding anything. His gaze was honest when explaining about monica.

“oiya, ARTmu where ki..?” manya curious. Sambil stepped down the stairs.

“ini sunday mbak. He's off. The entry Monday to Saturday, if Sunday is Raihan bang at home, and Rania is also not here” I nodded confirming

We're going downstairs. Mas amir is holding Rania. He heard a funny voice.

“dad amused..”I saw them, it's worth it Rania amused, her father kissed the rustle of her back neck.

“new shower, father's son acem again” husband kissed Rania until out sound chatter. I smiled miris.

Imagine that in the end I will have to separate, when I can no longer survive. My son will lose his father. Pain returning to the chest. Can I be selfish separating those who love each other.

“it looks like Mas Amir, has changed mbak, I see sincerity in his eyes. Hopefully in the future better, you can be like before again” the words of kirana full of hope feel bland into my ears. My husband's change has had nothing for me.

“nothah ki..mbak still can not accept. This heart still does not believe Mas Amir's change. As if I was still lied” I said to kirana half whispered mas amir already near the car with bang Raihan. They still seem to be chatting for some reason. I didn't hear her.

“for no woman can trust immediately after being betrayed. Suspicion must exist. slowly do not be forced”

“thank you yes..”my answer while saying goodbye. Rania who was sitting on my lap waved to Kirana. The car is slow.

We were busy with our own thoughts. Especially my husband he rubbed his chin repeatedly as if he was thinking something out of nowhere.

“mas think what the hell, like confused people gotu”tanyaku. He gave me a quick glance, then focused again looking ahead.

“Bang raihan do not know you know, if kirana buy a lot of toys for Rania, even about the housekeeper kirana he said his wife was also mutuskan. Weird, dear?” anyway, where does Kirana buy toys from if her husband doesn't know.

“kirana says the maid was Raihan's idea. How confused I”I replied to my husband.

“Mas suspects something but what?, there seems to be a person behind this all that governs kirana, and Sri. But who, what purpose?”.the man next to me thinks hard with his gaze still straight ahead.

Ah, is my husband's suspicion. I can't think of anything weird just focusing on my efforts. If the person my husband suspects does exist, there is no such malicious intent. Our family is still fine.

“today we eat out, Rania want to eat what baby?”ask my husband to Rania

“fried chicken with flour, it looks good yah” replied my daughter.

“oiya, dear, want to try the new cafe does not. He said the menu was good. My friend tried. There is a playground for children as well, Rania must like” said my husband, his face looks sparkling.

We walked inside. Rania is carried by her father. We are like a harmonious family in general. That is how it looks from the outside, when there is a heart that has been bargained with all this harmony. I feel that this is just an image to cover how fragile the foundation of our household is.

I know my husband has really changed, but this heart is so bland that I can't feel the sweetness of my own home.

We took a seat at the table near the child's toy. Let's watch Rania play. The atmosphere of this cafe is so wide that tables and chairs are made of wood. There are ornaments and paintings of Indonesian cultural sites that are carved beautifully installed on the cafe wall. Children's toys are also complete.

I saw my daughter's face smiling and running after children her age. My son is very familiar.

“after this we look for broken furniture yesterday yes, the old we throw away that we still deserve to give people.who knows msih can be used.” my husband's voice, resuscitate me from daydreaming. I turned my eyes to him. She smiles.

I don't know why I'm not excited to do it. The bitterness, and the raging andara shadows breaking stuff in my house whirled like movie slides. My husband's embrace when it calms my honey still hurts. I closed my eyes because I was unable to bear the pain that seemed real stomping my chest, sore. I really am not lying.

“why dear, are you sick?”mas Amir's gentle rubbing in my hand jolted my consciousness. I open my eyes moving my head right and left repeatedly.

“if it hurts we go home. Or eat first. Find the furniture next time. Mas do not want to make you” he said again.do not forget the anxious face of Rania's father.

I admit her attitude is really sweet. He spoiled me more than before the tragedy of the affair. I know this is one of my efforts to restore my trust.

The food menu is on the table according to our orders. From the looks of it seems appetizing.

“eat a lot dear, want mas bribin?” I shook my head, actually my appetite is still messy. But how else do I need extra energy to take care of my life.

“Rania here...maem used to play again ya” said my husband waving his hand to call Rania. She carefully carried Rania to the place where she washed her hands. Close to VIP room.

My daughter laughed happily, she carelessly splashed water on her father's face.

Sit back at the table. Facing a prepared dish.

But wait, Rania's gaze only focused on one place. I follow my son's point of view. There's nothing.

“om..” Rania muttered I followed her gaze again.me and Mas Amir looked at each other confused

“om, who nak” asked Rania's father

“tuh...” His hand pointed at his sight earlier.

Some people walked out of the VIP room wearing neat clothes and black suits. There's nothing I recognize because it looks like it's just his back.

I looked at Rania as if she wanted to wave but hesitated. The confused me didn't understand, I could only look at my daughter.

“om who loves” ask my husband again

“don't know”his plain face shakes the ties of his hair along sway kekeiri and right cheek chabbinya so funny. There's just Rania. I rubbed his head in a fit of anxiety.

***

Many people don't like Mondays. But this Monday I am excited, because I will meet some people who recommended Sri, for the data input section. And the administration section. While the financial part of Sri who holds and I as the leader here. Won't call managers because they're too formal for this small business

Bismillah, may all come good and honest men like sri.

“this is ma'am, there are six of them. Data input for 2 people. 2 Person sales report section and 2 person” sri purchase section, explain. I-i understand.

“mari sit here” I said please, my fashion oath is like a manager.

“which warehouse part how?”I asked sri.

“maybe tomorrow come ma'am, already I call. If today all are afraid the time is not enough.” There is a point in the explanation.

“oke..”berthank you to sri who found her friends to join me. His hard work deserves a thumbs up.

note: did anyone miss Andara? want to join Mas Amir and syafira to visit?

in wait, yes.... Thank ye.