SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

FALL IN LOVE AGAIN (END)

My pregnancy has entered seven months of age. To make milk I can alone just can not get permission from the man of Rania's pride. Fear of being doused in hot water, he said. He's still treating me like a kid. Strangely now I love that.

Want to do whatever Rania's father did. I'll wait until he does it for me. Not too far off. Independent women suddenly become spoiled in just seven months. It's not my fault he didn't want it. Sometimes I don't understand the man's mind.

On Sunday, arriving at the largest shopping mall in my city, the plan today will be to find supplies for her sister Rania. Because according to the doctor's prediction my son is male. But we return it to God because doctors still often do wrong predictions.

Mas Amir can not be separated holding my hand on the left. Rania in the right hand. Hands together make my chest flowery now. His attention could melt my heart. She served me like a queen, and I never did. I did not carry out my role as a wife, serving her birth and bathin. But the man who is still my husband never protested.

“God leave me one man like this” we simultaneously turn to the source of the voice, beautiful woman is young, about sixteen years old. From the face looks still school age. I looked at my husband's face.His face was cold, walking without noticing the sound. Ish, he's selling expensive.

all the needs we seek. It didn't feel like three hours we were walking around. Until finally stranded sitting in a restaurant that is still in the shopping center. Suddenly Mas Amir was crouching under my feet.

“your leg is sore, massaged ya” without waiting for my answer she pulled my leg. Put it over his bent thigh.

“no need, embarrassed to see people” I replied whispering, pulling my leg again. Raise it up on his thigh and start massaging slowly up to the calf. Without opening my robe. I swear it's so good I didn't lie. How did he know my legs were sore.

“how good is not?” he looked at me with a smile. I'm exalt. Not forgetting to say thank you. His face immediately riled up. Ahir-ahir this he doesn't like me to say thank you. He said he didn't do anything great. Whatever.

“God, I really want to get a man like this. equal attention his wife. Not rich it's okay to treat his wife like Ratu” that voice again.how can the same boy sit behind our table. Is he following me.

My husband stood up

“listen to me miss, sometimes that looks nothing like reality. If my son grows up I don't expect him to have a husband like me. Look for a better” he said firmly with a cold look.

What does it mean to try, isn't it. Every woman wants the best partner, I think the greatest man right now is for me and Rania is. Despite his past mistakes, I have forgiven him. He could not forgive himself.

“thank you for your basic om” advice, instead of kapok given a cold look, even gladly thank you. Mas Amir shrugged his shoulders at me.

***

Nine months into my pregnancy, I started having trouble doing anything. Sleep never restful my breath often feels tight. The waist often feels sore. My legs and hands began to swell, which is no less great than it all, the intensity to the bathroom more and more often.

Every day Rania's father takes me to the office. Well, that man will serve me wholeheartedly when I want to go to the bathroom. Like today.

Afraid I'd contract at any time he said. Because he wanted to be the first to know that the time had come.

“mas...” call me slowly. He who was busy with his work looked straight at me.

“pipis..”follow me again. I'm not lying. It feels like it's over. Immediately he broke away from the files strewn on the table, approaching me in a hurry. To carry me to the bathroom in his study. But it's too late, my dress is wet on the bottom. He looked at me.

My tears welled up because I felt bad, the man could still smile.

“nothing. Mas carried in the bathroom” said to take me to the bathroom with both hands, carrying me bridal style.

“maaf..” I said after I was in the bathroom, I was really embarrassed. Though this is not the first time I can't hold that clear water out.

She painstakingly changed my clothes with the clean clothes in the locker. That change of clothes, it was there from a month ago. Rania's father had an idea at the time. Which is worried happens also, if it is calculated that I have twice removed the pessing fluid unconsciously.

My pregnancy this time is weaker than when Rania was pregnant. I'm gaining more weight now. Even to climb the stairs I had to stop just to catch my breath many times. I want to blame Rania's father for the weakness of my pregnancy this time because she spoiled me too much.

Next he wiped the traces of water that was still scattered on the floor, with a floor cleaning liquid with a lemon aroma. Fresh until the nose replaced the pessimistic smell of my senile fluid.

Doctors say this condition is natural to occur in pregnant women. Because of the condition of the fetus that has entered the pelvic position so that it presses the bladder. As a result, we often feel like urinating. It is not recommended to drink water often at night. Worried we will often wake up because we feel a full bladder.

“ rest, mas continue again so quickly finished we can go home quickly. You can rest comfortably at home” he said pulling the blanket up to the neck. I'm lying on the couch in Mas Amir's study. Sleeping on the right. The man looked at me for a moment. Then I approached me on the sofa.

“doctor says now tilting left. The position of the baby is more pas” he said helped replace me tilted to the left as he ordered.

“how better?” I asked him, I just nodded. Just drop whatever he does. It's still 2 p.m. My eyes were closed unable to withstand the drowsiness attack that came suddenly.

“sayang..”call accompanied by a gentle swab on the cheek. Wake me up from dreamland. I blinked. Rania's father sat next to me he was still loyal with his sweet smile. I smiled back.

“it's time to go home” he said gently.

“I haven't prayed ashar” I said slowly.

“later at home” his hands reach me, help to sit down. Even sitting down should be helped. Oh my God, this really pregnant woman, like a stranded shark.

As usual, after dinner. Rania's father in my room massaged my legs, calves and waist. Until I fall asleep he will go out and into his own room.I want to feel like I'm holding him to sleep in the same room as me. But I'm afraid I'll be pushed back, put where my face is if it happens.

At 3pm I woke up, my stomach was uncomfortable. Like mules but can't have been in the bathroom three times. After the evening prayer, this taste torments me even more. My breath was short because it endured the pain. Cold sweat drenched my forehead and shoulders.

There was no other choice, I had to wake Mas Amir up.

“mas...” I knocked on the door where the man rested. The door opened - the man appeared in a neat dress and a kopyah was attached to his head.

“ada what?”he asked me he was looking at me intensely. His gaze went down to the stomach.

“sick?” ask again

I could only nod, biting my lower lip. This pain is getting more excruciating. My game is wet on my back. I looked at the face of the amir suddenly he became panicked. Waita minute. He came out without changing clothes.

Enter my room to take, a bag containing maternity equipment that has been prepared long before. The panic became more. Now his face is pale.

“mas carry to mobil” he said with breath hunting. I can't say anything. Actually, this pain disappears still counts about fifteen minutes. He sat me in the back seat. Then go back inside. Get out with Rania who is still sleepy.

Get in the car sitting in the seat holding the steering wheel, down again.forget not to bring the car keys. In a moment, enter again, close the car door. Soon out again he forgot, closed the door. I who was confused noticed this usually calm man panicked.

Sit holding the steering wheel and then be quiet for a while as if thinking.

“patient yes son, later out if there is a doctor, do not go out in the car father does not know” still had time - all he did. I almost fell asleep hearing his words. But the pain came back to me

“aduh,” my voice is loud. I'm not lying the push on my bottom is getting louder. My waist is like coming off.

“patience dear...” he said he still had time to kiss my stomach.

The car drove fast, the hand of the amir mas holding my hand occasionally when not holding the porsneling. Squeezing strong. Give me strength. Patience he said many times.

Welcomed in a wheelchair, Mas Amir took me to the hospital ER room.

Then the nurse pushed me into the delivery room. Doctor iren, her name is a beautiful woman who handles your pregnancy first. Good doctor, the explanation makes me comfortable when consulting.

“only the father can accompany inside, his sister waiting outside yes, it's okay alone” doctor irene rubbed the head Rania my son looked up. God, it's not like leaving Rania alone outside when it's still dark. The clock shows the four-past day number.

“while my doctor called my mother first” my husband grew more panicked. Doctor iren brought me inside. Raise me the ready-made mattress. My husband called her before he left.

“oiya ,please. While I checked his mother first yes pak” my husband nodded. Gawai was already attached to his ear.

As always, check your heart rate blood pressure. Then open my. To see the opening.

“good, baby position has entered only opening is still four. It's okay hopefully going straight up to nine bu” I just nod this pain . like paralyzing my muscles. My whole body hurts. From head to toe.

“mom can walk first outside breathing the morning air while waiting for the perfect opening” he said. There were no tools attached to my body including infusions. Get out of bed my husband came in and got me out. Accompany me to walk in front of the operating room. The pain is getting more frequent.

I breathe out again and again. Mas Amir occasionally rubbed my stomach, then walked again. Hugged me tightly as I complained of unbearable pain. Kissing my head covered in hijab over and over again.

“how are you nak” my mother-in-law's voice came in tergopoh accompanied by Nisa.

“sick ma'am,”I whimper.

“patiently yes, soon you will see his sister Rania” my mother-in-law said as if giving more strength to me

“au,,sick..”suaraI almost cried. When asked what the pain was like, I cannot describe what all my bones are like regardless of their place. It was as if my life would drift away every single wave of pain was coming.

“we see again ma'am, it looks like the pain has been every two minutes once” said doctor ieren calmly, the beautiful woman took me inside.

“your strong accompanying syafira, she needs strength for now.don't be weak mir” my in-laws voice is soft. I don't know what my husband's answer is.

I was put back to sleep in the same bed. The pain was incredible, I held my husband's hand tightly the man defended me occasionally tucking my forehead softly. I felt the liquid fall on my forehead. I caught a glimpse. Rania's father was crying.

“patience yes sir, the condition of the mother is still allowing to give birth to normal” said doctor iren.

“apa should not be injected with drugs so as not to hurt ya dok” voice panic this man. how can be berbersit thought that.

“it is precisely this pain that will help mothers quickly give birth to pak”, he replied politely.

“mas hurts,,, ”my words have somehow been spoken from my lips. The man clasped my hand.

“if only mas could want to replace this pain. You are patient ya” his eyes glazed

“alhamdulillah,, this opening is perfect mom. later mom follow our instructions” exhale repeatedly the urge to push stronger. Finally after the count of the third umpteenth of the ball of life it came out as well.

The doctor assisted his assistant in handling quickly. The little baby is in my arms now. My husband kisses my forehead repeatedly. Her tears are back. This time it was marked by a smile. His unceasing gratitude he said. We both cried at the birth of Rania's sister to the world.

The small hand reached for the sound of a broken cry in the delivery room. The tiny lips moved in search of the source of his life. The crying stopped when the lips found their place. Sucking strong. I smiled happily looking at this tiny baby sucking up the source of his food.

After my struggle tonight, I managed to get the baby out of the world safely. Thank God for giving me confidence to be a second mother.

***

For some reason after the birth of her sister Rania, my husband was more silent. He did not neglect his duties indeed but somehow his behavior increasingly gave distance to him.

The task of bathing a baby, my husband who is doing it sometimes I help. My baby boy we named Adam. He was handsome again the face of my second son was like his father. Tight eyelashes, sharp nose, clear eyeballs.

My life was even more beautiful after the birth of her sister Rania, taking care of her, bathing, nursing, playing. Never gave me a sense of tiredness when caring for this tiny baby.I looked into his clear eyes, suddenly guilt penetrated into my tribe.

How I used to want to eliminate this tiny baby.I even often make adam still in the womb to torture his father. I broke my tears as I held this tiny hand and kissed it many times.

My apologies are countless. Having a child of the opposite sex is funny. Adam's pee often makes me spin. After bathing his father was about to wear clothes suddenly the clear water fountain tilted to the left. Right about his father's right arm. I can't help but laugh. My husband squeezed Adam's nose in a fit of anxiety. He's just as outcast as me.

Now Mas Amir is sleeping in my room, waking up when my little baby cries in the middle of the night. He'll take his diaper off, and open me up when my son is thirsty. Carrying him back after he was full, reciting the prayer until my son fell asleep. Don't imagine her father's voice being melodious, not at all. Surprisingly Adam felt lulled by it. He fell asleep in his father's arms.

The age of Adam stepped on two months of his body more plump now, I often tease him, when he was cool to suck the source of his food, when he sucked, I pull until her eyes that start to close open again her tiny lips still come forward looking again, she cried.

I'm crumpled. It was as if I was getting my own entertainment. If his father finds out he'll rebuke me. Poor said. Ah, which man knows how nice it is to tease a baby who doesn't know anything yet.

I woke up at two in the morning thirsty. I opened my eyes. Wait, it's like I hear a sobbing. My eyes opened perfectly after knowing who was crying at midnight. Mas Amir's. He nodded while clutching Adam's body tightly.

“forgive me for not being able to accompany you forever, but I promise I will always be there when you need me. Dad will be a great parent to you guys believe me” that word sounds faint in my ear. A strange feeling infiltrated my heart. What's wrong with my husband, where is he going?. Various conjectures surfaced in my heart, my brain spinning around looking for answers but dead-end.

“mas...”ku call in a slow voice. Looking fast at me. Hurriedly wipe away his tears. I got more and more confused after more silence this ahir-ahir. now suddenly cry.

“you wake up, briefly grab a drink” put adam in the baby box, to the nightstand take a glass and pour in haste. Approaching me thrusting a glass into my hand.

“ada apa” tanyaku wonder. Suddenly he held me tight .

“nothing, thank you for fighting to give birth to adam. Thank you for not throwing it away when it was” ooo, it turned out to be just that.ah, I guess what's with this guy.

“don't thank me mas, fira also happy.” I said to hug her back. He smiled while looking at me. Again, his face still showed sadness wrapped in a smile that could not cover it all.

The sun had not yet risen, my husband was already struggling in the kitchen making breakfast for us. I help what can. I caught the sadness on his face. So dear was my husband over the birth of Adam that his face was more moody.

After breakfast Rania leave school, strangely Rania's father wears ordinary clothes and flip-flops do not wear neat clothes, usually he will go directly to the office. Maybe he'll skip today, I don't know.

I will accompany Adam to sleep as usual, to go to bed where my son fell asleep. Pull the blanket up the neck. As I was about to fall asleep, the soft claps on the boat shocked me.

“watches mas put where” asked I turned. I got out of bed how could a watch placed on the nightstand not be seen. Wait, what is it. The suitcase?

“mas want to go where” ask

He took a deep breath, took a pause to speak

“Today I will keep my promise to Fira”

“promise,, promise which” I'm getting confused what he once promised me

“liberating fira after Adam was born” his words slowly but until diterelingaku like a hard object hit.

“today mas will go home to mother,” he passed open the closet where to store his clothes. Take one by one and put it in a suitcase. My heart ached, I was again injured for the loss. Imagine that I would raise two children without this man

All this time he did it all. Serving me and Rania like the Queen bathed adam. Make me milk before I go to bed. My life depends on him.

“I didn't ask mas to keep that promise” I said, I can't stand it

“fira will collect a promise he said only me and Rania who are in power there whether it's all lies” I spoke while sobbing, I'm not strong.

“you made my heart become comfortable, now it will suddenly leave us just like that where your responsibility as a man” my voice is louder.

Finish putting on the shirt, closing the suitcase slowly. Lord I will part with the man who has stolen my heart. He sat down next to me with tears streaming down. Holding both of my hands tightly our eyes met.

“my mistake is too much, I don't want to add hate in your heart. After this happy, I will love you anytime. One more thing, please do not limit the mas when you want to meet adam and Rania, may God bring you with a man who is much better than mas” stuffing is getting harder. My heart is getting slashed

“fira want mas is here, love us like yesterday, promise” I beg, no matter the self-esteem. My heart does not lie.

“you will be even more tormented if you continue with me. Mas is not the right man for you”

“oh, so you just want me to give birth to a child after that you will just dump me, very good role you mas. You treat me like a queen, pamper me like there's no more women in this world whether it's all just pretending to look for my sympathies

“all that mas sincerely do it because mas love you.there will be no woman who can replace you in my heart until whenever believe me”

“continues why should go”

“this is the only way to free you from a male rascal like me. I've been thinking about this for a long time. And now the right time”

tears drenched his cheeks, rubbing gently with his hands.

She hugged me tightly, kissed me on my forehead many times, the tears were getting louder. We take off each other that clumped up I'm going to lose this guy now. I should be happy but why my heart feels empty.

Taking off my arms walked towards the suitcase, pulling it slowly. This cannot happen. I got up, hugged her from behind I sobbed my chest tight. I don't want to be separated from him.

He turned around to hug me tightly, kissing the tip of my head that was not covered in the hijab.

“stay here for me, for the kids”

“we will be tormented if we continue to be with you

have the right to be happy baby, reach your dreams. I will say talak if my heart is ready”, he replied still sniffling.

“but my heart asked you to stay here”he looked at me in disbelief. I pulled his neck. I found our lips. A moment drifting in the sweetness of this intimacy.I close my eyes enjoying the swirling taste that I never felt again for years.

My chest is pounding, millions of butterflies surround my heart. We solve this taste through b*b*r. Mas amir let go of this kiss first.

“do not do if you just for the sake of maintaining status, because you will be tormented more than you imagine.”

“I fell in love for the umpteenth time to a man named Amir Syarifudin”my words were firm without a doubt. It is what has been holding my heart all this time.

“really” her face sparkled happily.she hugged me tightly, even very tightly

“thank you dear” the word was said over and over again. We are happy in the deck.

All households have their own stories, regardless of the mistakes we have made. I have melted them in the words of apology that are spoken. he is the right man and the right father for my children.

EXPIRE

note: finally we arrive at the end of this story. once again outhor sorry can not complete all the wishes of the readers here.maybe there are disappointed with the ending.

author thanks for the participation, like, comments vote and gifts you give is very extraordinary...