SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

ELECTRONIC MAIL PART 1

I prefer the morning for now, the sun shining down on the earth ushers a warm feeling in me. And when my eyes opened to welcome him, all the sadness was gone when it rolled with the night.

Night, just leads me to the memory of the betrayal and misery of life I once lived. Sometimes my tears still shed in my prostration. When complaining everything to the owner of life when the pain comes.

Already three days Rania treated, her condition has begun to improve the news that if the lab results later show nothing serious, today Rania can go home. I'm so thankful my daughter ate it. So, I can breathe a sigh of relief to be able to take her home.

A number of pending agendas I will continue again, my goal is only to fight for Rania's future, that's all.

I feel like there are no relatives and friends I know. So everything I do alone, even when my heart feels tired, silent and just hides what I can do, there is no place to complain.

“Good morning beautiful, how today. his meal is already voracious yes, pinter.” doctor voice ayu, this morning he came to visit Rania to check his condition.

“well, the more beautiful doctor must have taken a shower. Doctor also scented?” replied my son with a cheerful tone. Ah, I'm so happy. Seeing Rania really excited this morning.

“let's see, if today princes Rania has good health. Eating is voracious, drinking is also good and sleep is good” said the beautiful doctor while examining Rania with a pink stethoscope of hello kittty characters.

Doctor ayu, took the report that the nurse who followed her in earlier. Handing over Rania's lab paper to my hands. Doctor Ayu explained that there is nothing to worry about with Rania's physical condition, only her psychic needs to be maintained, her mood should not be down.

“if indeed the mother still insists on not wanting to bring Rania with her father, at least give her positive activities that can distract her” the doctor's message ayu, of course we had this conversation outside of Rania's treatment room. Afraid my son would hear us talking about his father.

“well, thank you doctor for the advice” said I with the spirit back on. Rania used to not get sick easily, how now she can easily get high heat suddenly.is it so severe psychically affects a person's physical condition.

I can obey all Rania wishes except for this one. I really can't. I don't want anyone to know where I am. If anyone should know let it happen later when my heart is ready.

Today I don't want to go anywhere. Wanting to sleep accompanied Rania after getting out of the hospital. It felt like my body was tired from lack of sleep while waiting for my son to be treated.

Looking for what positive activities can distract Rania, that's the most important thing. So that my son can be active and have many friends. Later I ask his interest if his condition has completely recovered.

Some of the vitamins and drugs prescribed by the doctor have been redeemed at the pharmacy. Tomorrow I will think again about the continuation of my business and my scholarship.

It turned out that the challenge was this heavy.I thought everything would go smoothly according to plan, it turned out no, my path seemed to be stuck to reach my goal. Lord, strengthen me, this is the only way that I can prove that I am not a spoiled woman who needs to be pitied

Women who would beg the attention of any man. I convinced myself that without a husband I could live better.

Pasting the writing of job vacancies in front of the shop that I rented. First time I'm going to find an experienced one. I need them because I really don't understand what and how people live here.

I took a car to campus, took a course schedule and a list of courses that I would take. College with a different status, if I used to just focus on college, waiting for the money sent from the father is finished. Now I have to break my mind taking care of Rania, make money to survive and learn to get my S2 done on time.

Because the money I get may not always be there. Everything in my old account you've transferred my new kerekeningu. I don't want anyone to be able to track my whereabouts even through a savings account. I anticipated that before.

Money from my efforts, and the Amir company. I left a bank account that paid for Amir's salary. But before that I had transferred the contents to a bank account that no one knew about, perfect not my plan.

Furthermore, just looking for a piano lessons for Rania, from the many private lessons that I offer piano lessons that interest Rania. All right, to distract Rania whatever I'm gonna do.

Enough of the pardon I gave to my husband and his woman, but why is there still a betrayal behind me. I look stupid in front of them. Or my appearance is too simple. Does not interest Amir. That guy just pretended to be nice to me for the sake of not separating him from Rania.

Maybe it's time to change my appearance so he knows that without him I can be happy. Pampering myself in the salon to buy better and appropriate clothes, to support my appearance. When it's time I'm ready to appear before them at least I look classier.

All right, I'll think about it one by one. Now that's more urgent than that I'm going to get.

Looking for a piano tutoring place for Rania I did through the application on the laptop, because I did not find an ad about it anywhere.

Open the application that has the symbol G, to find the location of the nearest tutoring to the house.

Suddenly I received a notification with the letter M on the laptop. Oh Allah.The name listed there makes my heart beat faster. Cold sweat washed my hands. My body is shaking violently. How can I forget my old email is still active here. It's the first time I've used my laptop after it disappeared, I haven't had time to use it because my college hasn't started yet.

All of my social media accounts I deleted on HP, my email on my laptop is still an old email. “amir Syarifudin” is clearly displayed there. I hesitate to open it, what if he knows where I am. Ah, come to think of it let him know, after all he is happy now with his wife. What message he wants to convey well I'll open it.

“assalamualaikum my wife” cih, what kind of opening sentence is that. Wife?, who does he call wife. This is the message he sent three months ago according to the date it was posted there

“how are you, and how is Rania. You guys are good aren't. I hope so. Because your husband is not okay” again he uses the word husband. Basic men do not know themselves. My heart was hot after reading the opening two sentences of this letter.

My wife, on the day I left for my mother's house, I brought my own car with no driver. Because I will accompany you at your mother's house no matter how long you want. My one-week leave was approved, how I can't wait to get this good news to you. Happiness was with me during the trip.

At home my mother was lonely, I heard nothing. I thought maybe you were sleeping because I was late. Knock on the door slowly until my greetings from the three fathers who came out to greet me. He looked at me in wonder, he looked behind me and his gaze confused me too. Until finally he asked why I was alone where you and Rania were he said.

I'm getting confused. Shouldn't you be here. I was at my dad's house two days ago. Mom approached us, and the young were confused. I told you about your departure. Even I have also made sure the driver who delivered you safely to the destination.

We just realized that you guys have gone a long way, mom is crying hysterically. You are no less surprised. He asked what was. I also replied that we were okay.We were silent only the sound of the crying of the mother who called your name and Rania.

“ I promised them to find you, and bring you home safely. I'm looking everywhere like a madman. Ask anyone who knows you. But their answer was the same, not knowing it he said. I don't pay attention to myself. I even took pictures of you and Rania wherever I went and showed them to anyone I met, but nothing. I really have lost you.

Honey, how did you get to a foreign place, did you get lost?, which I was worried about you and Rania hanging out in a foreign place. You've never been to a new place without me. I imagined your frightened face and Rania in the dark. That's who comes to my dreams every night.

My wife, that's your plan to leave me. Even I didn't realize it. Even the office driver is fooled. How much pain you feel that you can't tell me. I was confused not to understand what was wrong. Until I find out why you left me.

Divorce papers, wedding rings, your bank account until the proof of the transfer made me realize that you were really hurt. Wherever you are, I miss you too Rania. Or just tell me where you are now, I'll pick you up we're back to how we used to be.

I can't explain you here about the proof of the transfer. I'm sure you won't believe it. I wouldn't say you're selfish either. All women on your side will do the same.

Or if you still can't go home at least tell me, reply to this letter when you read it. I want to hear your voice too Rania. I miss you guys!!!.

I miss hearing your voice, even though you hate me so much, believe me I love you even more.

081*******0 call this number, if you are ready to go home let me pick you up.

From me...

the person most hurt by your departure.

I closed the first message that came in. There were two more letters on it. I took a deep breath. Releasing the burden.

I doubt whether to continue or not to open the second and third messages. The first letter you took it was just a man's selfish prank. That only follows his desire to justify polygamy.

With a slight breath I opened the second letter, there was doubt I was afraid that in the end I would change my stance. I realized that it still exists even a little. I can't really hate it to be honest. Maybe the time hasn't allowed me to throw this flavor away for him. I need to be more patient.

This letter was sent a week ago, it is still very new.

“assalamualaikum sis, this is me annisa” what happened to my former sister-in-law, sent a letter, via email Mas Amir. My heart asked, is Anisa the one that she would use as a weapon to make me melt?. Sorry that's never gonna happen.

“forgive brother's mistake, on behalf of the family we apologize, for all the khilaf you did. But can you not punish a brother this heavy. Look brother. The man we are proud of has to lose everything. My wife, my son, and even my life are ruined now. If that's your brother's goal. Nisa congratulates brother on succeeding.

Here's some proof of brother's photo to convince kak fira that we're not making up ."

The first picture, Mas Amir lying with an infusion hose stuck in his left hand, like a hospital room. His face is thin, his eyes glare I don't forget the beard and mustache that grew unkempt there.

“not his body is sick but his mental, he lost the spirit to heal. Even more precisely brother does not want to heal.he is like a body left by his spirit.”

The information written below the photo. Even drawn next I saw la sitting with a blank stare.

There are about eight pictures listed there.Honestly my heart was a little touched. Where is his wife, why is his family taking care of Mas Amir.

Skinny body, missing the impression of bravery that I have been proud of. only living fragile bones wrapped in skin only.

A human figure that I barely recognize, even for breathing was fitted with a tool.

What's wrong with her?? Shouldn't he be happy with my departure. Didn't I let them do whatever they wanted.

Note: I divide it into 2 parts because the extension. later forwarded to read the third letter. Which obviously is more slashing.