SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

THE UNWANTED CHILD

A week later my mother said she wanted to go home, I didn't know what to say. I want it to hinder them. But I'm afraid they don't live here. If I may, I want to take them wherever I go.

“can't you stay here. No need to go home” I said embracing my mother's shoulder.

“can't fira, mom's been here too long doing nothing. Your father if there is no activity even more sick. If there can meet his friends. Open a store in Pasar” replied my mother.

“you do not have to work, fira is able to bear the lives of father and mother” I insist on trying to convince them.

“ibu believes, this is not a matter of material. But the mother is more comfortable living in the village.” . if that reason can not be denied anymore.

“let us inter bu” voice of her father Rania

“already all ready, the goods I have put into mobil”more

We walked out. I don't know why my head is so dizzy all of a sudden. Dark view. Cold sweat on the forehead. Actually from waking up I've felt it. But not as bad as it is now. My breaths. My limp feet were no longer able to hold my body. I'm fallin.

There was a voice calling my name, the voice of my mother, the voice of Rania's cry was no exception to the voice of her father Rania. I felt a pat on the cheek many times. My eyes were heavy after that I really don't remember anything anymore.

***

Opening the eyes adjust to the light. The smell of medicine stings. I'm where. I don't recognize my surroundings.

“Mother...”I know it's Rania's voice. I looked at him, My son's face was happy

“sayang,,”voice destroyer atmosphere his face is no less happy smile emanated clearly. Suddenly he kissed me. What is this.

“Fira..”voice mother her face is as sparkling as father

“mother is very happy, we will have another grandchild yes pak” what it means

“thank you for giving this happy news to us” father's words what he means, grandson whom he means

“you're pregnant baby, Rania will have a sister” I glared in disbelief these man's words like there's a godam hitting my chest, but how can I get pregnant, as long as I came home I never had a room with Rania's father. But look at Rania's happy face. I'm luluh. And seeing the smile on Rania's father's face, I hate.

“ya already mom home yes. You're fine with your husband Fira. Don't forget to take care of your pregnancy well”.

“sorry ma'am, I can't take Syafira's condition is still weak. There is already a driver waiting in the car” said his father Rania

“ibu Fira come”that's my voice, well I cry I don't like this situation, I hate it.

“no need, you just realized. Titip Fira yes son, more patient to face it. I'm sure you're the right man for my son” my mother rubbed the shoulders of her favorite daughter-in-law.

I'm throwing my face away. I wanted to get away from this man but it was as if God had other plans.

I could only cry, lamenting my fate in the future how.

“dear you why” I look at this man full of hatred

“why can I get pregnant, say!!!” I hold my voice afraid to sound Rania.

“can, there will be me” he replied casually

“I mean, how can while we have never slept one room” I replied full of anger.

“you forgot the incident that was hoteled one month ago”ya Allah.how could I forget that incident. I was silent between anger and shame remembering that. He has forced me, I will tear his pride away. Justjust look.

“do not be too confident sir, what if it turns out that this child is not your son” this is the only way.that can eliminate his pride as a man.

“my wife is still the same as she used to always keep her honor, which is why your husband loves you so much. Lord. If no Rania wants me to claw her face.

“then I'll abort this baby, because I don't want it” I told you I wanted to lower my husband's self-esteem.

“don't do me please, you may hate me, may hit me, may hurt me but don't kid this” his face is compassionate.

“mother hopefully later her baby sister like kenzy, cute” twinkle face Rania. Forcing me to smile even though this heart still does not accept. This baby in my stomach is the result of pem*****n, which his father did.

“what makes my wife still hate me?” what kind of question is that

“all. Without exception” replied me firmly.

“excuse me madam amir, I want to check the condition of the mother.if it is okay the mother is allowed to go home today. excuse me tuan” a female nurse approached. Rania's father left because the place wanted a nurse to check on me.

Pulse, blood pressure, heart rate. Everything's done. Then the woman wearing this hijab tidied up my clothes.

“everything is good mom, just waiting for the file to be finished. Don't forget his wife's in the care of sir. Because the gestational age is still 5 weeks is very weak, so multiply the rest do not forget to take vitamins and drugs boost the content.” The nurse's advice was long. Who listened carefully even his father Rania, I am ordinary.

“thank you” the answer is short.

he looked back at me again sitting in the same place.

“dad,, Rania sleepy” chirps my son wake me up because it's time for Rania to have lunch.

“Don't sleep first, Rania hasn't had lunch, Rania wants to eat anything, dad bought outside briefly” said my husband

“mau eat soto can?” answer Rania

“what's dinner?” I'm just gonna shut up

“mother should eat. Would you like to eat rations from the hospital?” tanyakanya. I just shook my head. I really don't have an appetite.

Without talking again mas amir came out, since I answered his question earlier suddenly the man became quiet. I care, no. Because the truth is I hated her after this pregnancy.

Back with the package in his hand, Rania's order soto placed in a black container. Quite hygienic. Food vendors are now more creative, unique and diverse packaging not just using plain paper.

“Daddy bribe Rania yes,”my daughter nodded. I saw so painstakingly mas amir was feeding Rania. Even Rania that big is still being fed. Three years we lived together Rania had eaten alone without being bribed.

“father eat also let not hurt” said my son, I admit Rania so dear to his father. I felt guilty about separating them. It may be true that a father is the first love of his daughter. I saw that in Rania.

“delay also” open the second package, I see the same menu with Rania.

“I don't taste” I said throw away face

“forcibly yes, to be healthy, pity her sister Rania” her smile was sincere. For some reason from those eye rays I caught as if there was sorrow stored.

Bribed me painstakingly, occasionally taking a tissue wiping my lips that were affected by the yellow soto sauce spill. This is really delicious. It feels good for the lunch menu.

I saw that Rania had fallen asleep with her face covered in prayer mats, on the carpet. This treatment room is quite spacious . maybe he was tired of waiting for his mother from the morning. My meal was over, Rania's father moved Rania to a special mattress only in the VIP room.

After the prayer he sat on the sofa putting his meal menu sip by sip into his mouth chewing slowly. His gaze was glaring, looking unappealing . I don't know what's bothering her mind.

“mas..”I called, immediately he put his food on the table

“my wife calls, what's up?” he asked after coming to me in a hurry.

“aku to pray”

“emang mama strong?” tanya looked at my face in disbelief

“you underestimated me” my tone is tight

“not so, if not strong tayamum only, praying while lying down is also okay” he explained in his soft voice as usual.

“aku still strong take wudhu”

“mas help ya”

“whatever” is my answer.

He had me in the bathroom holding a bottle of intravenous fluids.

“will you enter the bathroom?” he's aghast.

“infusion how”tanyanya.

“aku who held, mana” I took a bottle from his hand.

“sad, it has not been”tanyanya from outside the bathroom, while knocking on the door slowly.

I was silent, very noisy this man

I came out, I put a fierce face, I was lazy to see it

“what the hell call-call noisy” I said ketus

“fear you fainted in the bathroom. Sorry” her face lowered, pity actually.

But how else.the child in my womb is presented in an unnatural way. I'm not the one who wants it but him.

I pray while sitting he faithfully sits next to my bed. Pull my blanket up to my neck. After I finished praying.

“sleep, if there's anything. Mas is on the sofa call me” he said rubbing my forehead slowly.

Heading to the bed kissing Rania's forehead. Then pull the blanket up to the neck.

Sitting on the couch enjoying a TV show. His hands are crossed in the chest.

From his face I knew that this man was also tired. But he forced her not to fall asleep.

A slow knock rang out at the door, Rania's father opened it a male nurse gave him a paper.

“thank you, but wait a minute my son and wife are still sleeping. Later when I wake up I call again” the voice of her father Rania whispered. Maybe he thinks I'm sleeping. I don't know.

Returning home from the hospital, after going through a long drama because of having to take an online taxi.

Rania's father's car is still in use to drive mom. Of course I'm looking for trouble. Countless number of apologies came out of his lips.

“don't go straight to sleep, shower first change new prayer clothes sleep”. The message was to me as I was about to board. It was seven o'clock at night when I saw the clock clinging to the TV room.

The man was still busy with luggage from inside the car. We stopped by the grocery store and pharmacy to get some medicine and bought some milk for me. I'm waiting in the car. Rania and her father were shopping.

“let mas sleep with Rania, you sleep in the room just to be comfortable, pity her sister Rania if you have to sleep jostling” since I know I'm pregnant. This man is more chatty than the mother.

I'm heading to the room.

Mas amir was still pacing up and down, entering my room putting things. Go to Rania's room. Out again down up. I don't know what he did I don't care. I lay in my bed.

Pulling the blanket to sleep. When the man entered, he brought a tray of warm milk.

“drink milk first as vitamin” sitting on the edge of the bed put a tray on the nightstand.by slowly he helped me sit.

“I don't want to, I told you I don't want this kid”I threw my face in the opposite direction.

“do not be stubborn if this child why-not your condition will also weaken, succumb to it for a while after that rest. Tomorrow I'll serve your anger.” could also he affect me. This time I say his word

“Mas is in the next room, not sleeping with Rania she is already a big one now.mas sleeping in her sister Rania's room. If you need anything call it. if it is still weak, just call.” he said at length.

Bring back the empty glass and tray out. I don't know why Rania's father spoke softer more politely. Maybe he was angry

“you are fine” ahirnya ejected also the word.

“I'm good, sorry it turns out I was wrong. I thought the presence of this child would change your feelings for me It turns out that the existence of that child is tormenting you even more. Forgive my umpteenth foolishness” said as he bowed. I am really glad to hear it. No matter how hard I am just an ordinary human being who still has feelings.

“not to think about. Sleep” he said again while closing the door slowly