SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

CHAPTER 3. APOLOGY FROM AMIR

Today my man wants to come home early, I'll prepare his favorite dinner. Vegetable soup, fried chicken and potato paste plus sambal terasi is ready to be served at the dining table. Stay waiting.

“Assalamulaikum, wow, very fragrant so lapar” that is in the mind sdh come

“waalaikum salam” I kiss his hand

“the work is done, koq back home cepet” I continued to take the bag in his hand, he occupied himself in the dining table chair.

Wait, what's with my husband his face is like keeping a heavy load, crumpled up not as usual or maybe just tired, or his job is having problems.

My mind was trying to guess the sweet man looked down more like he wanted to hide.

“mau shower first or directly eat” ask trying to eliminate bad thoughts

“Ayaaaah...”my son ran over, how carefree his face was to see his father coming home.

“Daddy is home, work is done, dad bring souvenirs what for Rania?” a series of questions were asked after he sat on his father's lap.

“Already, see father now at home want to play with Rania” my husband told my son quite tightly like want to say something he looked at his daughter with his sad face, kissed my son's forehead and long hair. What's wrong with you in my heart.

“Dad sorry ya”all suddenly sad look clear, this is not my guess there must be something that disturbs my man's mind, but what?

“why do you apologize to Rania?” my daughter understood, my husband was getting closer to his son as if he was going to go far away, what a pity my spine was. Maybe work or business is no problem, especially indeed.

“Let father take a bath first yes son, pity father's ability, later play again”.take Rania from his father's lap. I looked at my husband's back up the stairs, his head down. Crossing what burden he had to bear to lift his head just felt difficult.

“sayang..”call him after we collapsed in the room. His chest so my head pads my hands are coiled there. Of course after eating and satisfied playing with his son, I put Rania to sleep, here we are.

“mother....sleep already?”call him once more while rubbing my back gently

“hhhmmmm...”I raised my head to look at his face, the cloudiness looked more concentrated but did not reduce his good looks

“ Forgive mas yah” breathing is heavy like wanting to remove a load that accumulates.

“Why today this handsome man of mine is like saving a heavy load”trying to melt the atmosphere, because honestly from earlier I was also nervous.

“Whatever happens later mas still love you, love Rania” his hands turned caressing my hair

“Mas what is it?” I wonder while sitting trying to find honesty in his eyes. Ah, she was seriously an unusual eye beam, not even she dared to look at me.

“Whatever happens to be my kind, gentle, understanding and accepting Shafiru as usual, never change” I am more afraid of the sentence.

“Mas fired, or any problems in the project?”trying to guess my husband's mind.

“Do not be afraid mas, we start everything from zero, until it is in the current position because we are both able to strengthen, support each other, able to accept the lack” tries to reduce its burden

“Not that” sergeant fast, I saw the long and heavy breathing is able to describe how heavy the burden is on his mind.

“I promise, even though mas do not have a job, mas amir business bankrupt I do not matter, as long as mas amir remains beside me love me as now, it is more than enough, it is more than enough, mas calm” I hold his hand tightly trying to convince.

“And I promise it will be a good mas Amir , gentle attention, cute and cute” I give him my best smile, I shake my head right and left thawing the atmosphere I think is very uncomfortable.

“tidurlah” he said while pulling my arm to sleep back to the position that was

The night grew late leaving a million questions in my mind. What's the matter exactly. Why was he suddenly acting so strange today, the millions of bad thoughts slapping in my head forced my eyes to remain open. I took the square box thing trying to open social media, looking for entertainment there. But I can't, I see my husband's been shut down. Maybe he's tired, tired of being born like him. I put it back on the nightstand.

Trying to remember the events in my house that were related to my husband finding out in case there was a clue.

I'm not a guy who likes to check on a husband's phone, because it's his privacy, afraid he's uncomfortable. The people who contact him every day are many and varied there are business partners, coworkers there are those I know and do not know.

The clock shows the number 11, but my eyes are still hard to shut. The words of Amir disturbed my mind. I put full trust in him I know he's a good guy who won't betray my trust, we know each other 10 years, 3 years friends 7 years as husband and wife. Well, we're college friends, one major our age is the same as the other month. From then until now he was still the Amir I knew 10 years ago.

He's not a romantic husband, not the kind of guy who likes to surprise me on my birthday or our wedding anniversary. Or suddenly bring souvenirs after the official trip, no, he is not so.

But I don't care, the important thing in her heart is that just me and Rania is more than enough for me.

We are friends of the college class in the same campus and majors, his quiet attitude tends to be aloof makes me interested to know the beginning. Until finally we were in the same group in the course assignments.

One group there are 4 people 2 men two women. From there I knew that he was a man who was intelligent his insight was broad and did not complain much. Interesting personality in my opinion, I mean everything outside my thinking about mas amir.

From then on we were familiar four, working together to do assignments, hanging out or just doing other cool things like other students.

Another boy in my group named Fatih I call him Bang fatih actually he's my upperclassman High School together from the village, he said, coincidentally his house with my house near our gaming friends used to happen to be ngekos also close to my boarding area near the campus.

During the graduation ceremony he introduced me to his family, and I introduced him to my family. “oh, so this is the syafira that Amir often told me about, gorgeous” sentence said by his mother Mas Amir Able to make a red tinge on my face, I looked down in shame. After a few months of graduation, we got married. From further friendship marriage. Brief but our resolve is already a uniting love.

It's 12, but my eyes are still hard to shut. Usually at 10 o'clock is a dream. I turned my body slowly back to the amir. Afraid she's awake. I tried to close my eyes who knows when I fall asleep. The ringing sound was not my hp it was a mas amir ringtone, he rushed up to take his phone down quickly after turning towards me.

I wonder it's becoming more and more unusual for anyone to call in the middle of the night like this. I sharpen my ears to find out what is being talked about, maybe there is a connection with the heartbreak of amir. He walked out of the room, opened the door and closed it again.

I got out of bed, brought my ears to the door. At first glance I hear “ not yet, tomorrow we discuss it already malam”,that's the sound of my amir mas heard his footsteps approaching the door I hurriedly went up to the bed pretending to sleep like earlier so that mas Amir did not suspect. What's wrong with you why my heart says you're hiding something from me.