SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

CHAPTER 13. KAMPUNG RUMAH

Sitting alone among the white mist of morning dew that still remained, cold pierced to the bone, the smell of straw mixed with mud smelled. A gentle breeze caressed my face gently flew my hijab.

a place to reminisce about childhood playing and running around with peers. The sound of birds singing sounds like music in the morning.

Paddy just in harvest there are many hay piles in the middle of the rice field, the former pieces of rice trees are also neatly lined there. A group of sparrows fly looking for the rest of the rice that is still scattered.

This is my habit of waiting for the sun to rise from the eastern horizon. Sitting in the fields facing the rising place of the sun. Well, here I am now, in my birthplace, where I grew up in simplicity. Where I grew up from a small to an adult who was raised lovingly.

A week after I got out of the hospital, I returned home delivered mas raihan to the bus terminal. Actually Karina's husband wanted to take me to my hometown, I refused him because of the workday.

Where my husband, there, was, he and his wife drove me to the door. Offered to take me to my father and mother's house. But with a heavy tone, I caught a stale alkaline tone there. A husband would not offer himself. Should have prepared to take his wife who will return home with a five-year-old child for a long trip. There was no look of worry as usual in his eyes.

Maybe he's hard to leave his new wife, bring along also impossible not. Lucky during the trip Rania not fussy, thanks for the cooperation son. This time the trip was heavy. There was a burden on my journey. The man who was still my husband was just driving me to the door of the house. With a new wife of course. It hurts so bad to see his treatment for me.

“mu breakfast, I have prepared your favorite meal”.The voice broke the silence, This old lady is sitting next to me. Caressing my head covered with hijab gently. “if you don't want to tell me it's okay mom doesn't force, at least eat first so don't hurt” her voice is soft to the heart. There is warm flowing there. I contain tears so as not to spill. Tilted his head. Comfortable, that's how I feel. This body scent that I always miss.

“mom hope your return by permission of Amir, will not be diridhoi every step a wife without permission from her husband” her hand caressed my shoulder. Do you know my problem. I haven't told you yet, waiting for the right time.

I just arrived at 2am after an 8-hour drive from the city. Until now my eyes have not been closed. Tired indeed, but somehow sleeping was difficult ahir-ahir this. After the morning prayer I sat here alone.

The rays of the sun began to show its light bashfully, golden yellow color emanated beautifully there.ah, this is what I missed from my homeland, nature always gives peace. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm morning sun, wanting to go back to childhood. Run after the butterflies without a load. Go home when adzan maghrib reverberate then Go kesurau learn to teach.

I recall. There was always a hand waving towards me, we would enjoy the sunrise together even from a distance away. Leaving this place together after the sun appeared perfectly, and did not forget to wave from a distance a farewell sign. That guy. I flinched, my childhood memories waking me up.

“bu, bang fatih how are you?” well, the man always accompanied me to enjoy the morning sun in his way. Not sitting next to me, but it makes me feel comfortable.

“koq suddenly remember fatih, miss ya” my mom seduces

“since my wedding day he never appeared again in front of me” if remember it was actually I was upset, could-be invited guests whose presence is most expected not to come. I cried when aunt Rukayyah, her mother bang fatih said her apology because the man could not attend, there was a sudden interest, she said, her return plan was canceled.

Sad, disappointed, angry mixed into one. He should have come to give us his blessing. Is not my closeness to mas amir also for his services. The most meritorious person in my life, helped me when the shipment from my father had not arrived. I took the doctor when I was sick. Rela escorted me thesis guidance when my fellow lecturer asked for guidance didn't know the time. Take me wherever I want without complaining.

“sun has been high we enter and breakfast, later walk around the village, surely you miss. 3 years did not come home much changed in our village” my mother moved, I followed her behind. I saw the father and rania had sat down lesehan with mats from pandan leaf webbing.

Full dishes are available, all sea fish because it is urged this sea fish is cheaper. Boiled cassava leaves, peanut sauce, grilled snapper evokes my taste.

In my house there is a ban on eating should not talk, afraid of choking, he said that was taught by my mother since I was a child. I don't know, until now we've been doing it.

Somehow my appetite increased until two full plates made my mother and father shake their heads with a smile.

“eat you earlier like g person ate a year son.”ibu opened the conversation while smiling teasing me.

“if at home mother does not eat grandma...g lust he said, if forced Rania just eat it even a little. Mommy banyakan nangis in the room” my son spoke loudly, my mother's father threw one another a look of wonder. A sharp look was directed at me.

“Rania want to join grandpa see cows below?” I know my father did it on purpose

“mau kek..sapi no son not” asked rania enthusiast.

“ada...” the father nodded no less spirit

“the mother there are two g kayak Rania..” back their sharp gaze directed at me, my lips frozen.

Confused about where to start the story. I realized gradually my parents would find out as well. Whatever I keep it a secret.

“mas Amir remarried ma'am..” started a conversation after Rania and gaffer left. Success made mom stop her hand tidying the mat where we had breakfast.

“after a week the woman was legitimately my madam, and mas Amir invited her to stay at our home” my voice was weak my head was bowed in.

For now I dare not look at my mother's face. Mas amir his favorite son-in-law, I can't bear to say this. But I had no choice. Mother is still silent, her body still her head bowed. I don't know what he's thinking right now.

“Is your return to avoid that?” ahirnya mother opened her voice even softly, but her question made me confused.

“Avoiding marriage mas Amir?” ask me confused

“avoiding from pain due in honey” my mother refuted quickly.

“aku not strong mom, every day to meet with them” ahirnya spilled already tears my eyes. Mom walked over and sat down next to me rubbing my shoulder gently her left hand held my hand tightly.

“mom happy when you are the same rania want to go home, after three years ahirnya mother can see you guys. This longing will soon be treated everything you prepare to replace the sheets, curtains, even the mother bought all your favorite sea fish. Fridge mom filled.” Mom took a moment of deep breath.

“if mom knew your return for avoiding it, I wouldn't let”. There is sadness and disappointment.

“the problem was faced was not avoided” stroked my head, my shoulders were shaken, my cries became more and more.

“mother educates you to be a strong person, I think your life is fine. Never told me about your sadness, that's what makes me proud. Because I think you can already deal with it yourself. it turns out mom is wrong”

“fira can be patient for other things, but if duaakan it's another bu” story

“you are blessed with a good husband who loves you and your child, a healthy and beautiful child, in-laws who love you so much.

Amir job smoothly, his business is also growing”

“if you think perfect life is how God shows you unfortunately, you're wrong son. You will fall asleep at the end of the arrogant nature will rule you” his advice makes me silent my heart justifies.

“trial is the way God calls you to approach, God loves you so much in his way. Come closer and whine, god loves it”. No anger not even surprised.

His calm bearer made me always amazed by this woman who gave birth to me. I hugged my mother tightly, my cries really broke a little bit of relief flowing in the heart. My shoulder shook my mother's shoulder wet with my tears.

“don't think, you came home because miss mom right, regardless of your problem mom wants you to enjoy during here, it's been crying not long” raised my body attached to her shoulder from earlier, rubbing my tears lovingly. There was a big smile there.Thankfully I had this great woman.

“oh yes... big what a small cow stomach” my lot with a fluffy smile

“big..the sauce is swollen said grandfather tired.pity Rania look it”. Every morning the herdsmen bring their cows to feed in the back of the house, and bring them home in the afternoon before sunset.

Walking around the village after breakfast earlier, just alone with Rania's mother sleeping may be exhausted, this is very fun. Passing with mothers who set out to the market walking in rows extending backward while telling stories.

There is also something for shopping to sell. Fathers with his cattle, some with gardening tools attached to his shoulders. Not to forget the caping (a wide hat made of woven coconut leaves) adorned his head. Greeting us is just a pleasantries. Pregnant women walk in the morning accompanied by her husband while talking occasionally the husband stroked his wife's stomach.

The air here is fresh.

The lack of public transportation is even only really capable people who have four-wheeled vehicles. For motorcycles not everyone has them, ontel bikes are more often used by residents here. Some people even use horses as a means of transportation.

Usually houses mountainous areas that use horses because access cannot be passed by any vehicle.

“oi...bira”that loud voice I knew him, running small towards me. I don't want to look at the chance to meet here while enjoying the beauty of the morning. Damaging my mood is bad now. I close my eyes not wanting to turn my head calling my name has not changed from me being a little, annoying.

“You're arrogant now I want to get by your handsome cousin's tightness” believes he's still high apparently, nothing has changed from this guy.

“wah..bira more beautiful yes, try here brother see” flipped my body by force.

“fira brother, fira” annoyed really put his hand on my shoulder

“itukan them, if brother is another. Where's your husband who says he's more handsome than me. Ck, arrogant you are now lying in town forgetting to go home” from him, I want to leave this place, if he used to not stop before I cried, wailing to look for mother, I want to leave this place, it turns out that my mother was talking to her friend.

“this is fira coming home, sister how are you. Bulek sama pack lek how are you” is just a stale base afraid of being counted as arrogant.

“they are good, play at home they miss you too. I now live with my wife” a pregnant woman is approaching. So those I saw.

“oooo...welcome yes, his wife is beautiful kak, how many months mbak” my question on women with a sweet face wearing a robe and blue hijab it.

“eight months” we are in a relationship

“you're lucky fira, have a handsome husband, well, love you. In addition to employees he is also a contractor, said your husband's uncle has just been appointed as a manager in his office I'm happy to hear that the new” now he is serious.

“alhamdulillah sis..”that's all I can answer is anything else.

“why not come home?”

“he is busy his name employees can not take a day off, where his business also can not be left” it's the mother who answered out of nowhere behind me.

“oooo...I think you guys have nothing, tell brother if anything to be made battered all day” his nosy face out shows his fist to my face.

“already noon, let's fira first kak”

“iya, be kind as your husband is a rare man who is loyal like him despite his well-established but love is the same you are fir, believe the same brother he is already washin same you” just a smile that rises in my lips, while passing I did not care about the words of my cousin's brother.

“fira, when come koq g tell aunty” aunty rukayah, her mother bang fatih greeted me as I crossed her stall, actually more to the restaurant but very spacious, surprised I saw her.

Though he used to sell rice only use a table in front of his house. The cuisine is good, the sales are not selling until noon. I salim his hand for a sign of respect.

“just this morning until. Well, the aunty stalls are now changing yes, the more advanced aunty” business really that now I am really amazed.

“alhamdulillah, let's sit down first to eat what let auntie readyin”

“g need to mbak, we have breakfast before here” the mother replied

“garang asem head snapper aunty tasty you know, want?”ah, this guy still remembers my favorite food.

“thank you bi, still full. Ida equal indira mana,, koq g sejat” sister bang fatih two guys all girls.

“bibi tell the market, buy the ingredients. Now aunty open until the afternoon, the menu is a lot, if it used to be only pecel rice, sell until noon”

“bang fatih what's bi” news I can't hide the curiosity.

“well, just two weeks ago she came three days here leaving again, busy her now”

“Fatih has become a successful businessman in the city, but once a month he comes home” my mother explained.

“Fira kangen yes, cook g never met. He now lives in the same city as you” huh, that's all that comes out of my mouth.

“koq fira don't know bi” muchu wonder

“new move, do not settle Just want to open business he said aunt also do not know” aunty looked at me for long.

I nodded between understanding with confusion, actually missed but want how.

Mas amir would hate it if I asked fatih. Maintaining the feelings of the husband because after all our closeness must have limits, especially now I have a family.

“mbak I say first to go to the market, tomorrow I take breakfast here. Let's take a break from last night he hasn't slept.” My mother said goodbye while shaking hands.

“promise yes fir, aunt also miss you. Oiya your husband g follow”

“dia busy bi, now it's a working day”

“Oiya yes,,,” we say goodbye actually there are still many questions in my mind about bang fatih, but want how else, the boundary between me and him is very thick there is a feeling that I have to keep. Even if that person doesn't care about my feelings.