SURVIVING BECAUSE OF STATUS

AZ-ZAHRA CLINIC

I went downstairs after falling asleep after the dawn prayer, it was six in the morning.

It's too late for me. Not habitually.

Rania and her dad have a kitchen. The man looked very busy, while Rania sat at the dining table.

“mother is up” my son's voice.

I smiled, Rania's father looked at me with a smile.

“has her body?” ask her. I'm nodding. Honestly looking at her silence and her words last night made me a little unbearable. Maybe I was too much

Food has been served at the table, fruit juice, warm milk, fresh fruit pieces. Breakfast menu fried rice sozis. Shit, he still remembers my favorite food.

since when can she cook. I feel ashamed. I'm like the Queen in my own home. wake up all the dishes are available.

"from now on I will serve you" he said confidently.

I look sharply in disbelief towards him, I suspect Do not-don't buy food at the restaurant via online.

“father made according to the one in the mother” recipe book he said as if this man could read my mind. I ducked

“dad,, the fried rice is delicious, just like the mother” Rania made her face bright, I'm not sure.

“oh, yes,, bestowed” replied the father. I'm just watching. I'm not even interested in tasting it.

Rania's dad looks cool this morning.I'm not lying. His clothes were neat long-sleeved black shirt rolled up to the elbow and black pants that fit on his body. Don't forget her hair that is well-pressed. The apron that stuck to his body seemed to add to his perfection of the man this morning.

“sayang, want to drink juice or milk first” the sound surprised me

“mmm... whatever” I'm confused about what to answer. honestly I'm not ready with questions.

“why look at your husband like that, something is wrong” I just shook my head slowly while holding the nape of the neck. I was misbehaving how I could have admired the man who had planted the seed forcibly in my womb

“milk first ya” he said to me with a glass of warm milk in his hand.

“I want fru” to bring milk and fruit in both hands.

“mau in a bribe?" ask again.

“i am not dying until eating fruit alone must be helped” I replied ketus.

If I can be honest I don't hate Rania's father, I don't know why every time I see her is okay. Wanting to make her miserable seems like my obsession this late.

“nasi friednya mas fetakin, eaten ya” my gaze is sharp towards him.

She's quiet

“it's okay later grab it yourself huh. But must eat” his orders. I don't want to lower my self-esteem by eating his cooking.

“mas can talk?” tanyakanya. I don't care if I still focus on eating peeled fruit, it tastes very fresh. Rania's father took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

‘if possible, for a while the school Rania moved here first” silent.

I'm surprised, what the fuck. I was just planning on coming back because Rania's been out of school for too long

“I want to go home tomorrow, Rania has missed a lot of lessons dealing with unimportant things here" I never spoke in a polite tone with this man

“I'm afraid you're there no one to look after, remind you to drink milk, take vitamins. Your rest will also be reduced because you will be busy taking care of the office and Rania alone” .

his explanation made me frown. For a moment the look did not like to turn towards him.

“you think I can't do that myself.I want to take a vitamin or not what do you care anyway this child is present not at my will.” Again, he thought I was weak.

“mas knows, actually mas do not want to burden you with the presence of the baby. If only it could be moved mas happily accommodates it”

I don't like that answer. He should have debated me after that I won. If it's like this I'm winning because my enemy is giving up. Doesn't look cool at all.

“mas has thought, after this child is born will give you the freedom to choose your own way of life.maybe I am a selfish man who likes to force the will. But believe me from the past until now what mas do for you guys” his tone is weak, he lowered his head.

“I want to set you free now, but can't, religion forbids it because of your condition. So wait until her sister Rania was born” silence again.

“let the mas see his face before you take him away” my eyes are hot to hear the words of Rania's father.

My heart is like being squeezed, sick but not sick with revenge. I am sick of his sincerity.

“well do what you want to do” I have no choice. Just temporarily instead of, until this child is born.

“you agree?” that happy look. He was about to hug me. I put on a cold face

“thank you” step back a few steps.

“ada terms” nothing is free for his happiness. There must be a sacrifice to make up for it all.

“I want to ask for mobil” I said. But the face was not surprised at all precisely the binarnya more happy.I do not lie. I want to take a walk to enjoy life.to get rid of all because of the thought of baby Mas Amir in my womb.

“son dad cravings car yah” said rubbing my stomach is still flat. I clap his hands rough.

“but, can't use company money, can't use my money. Can't borrow a fatih. Moreover, using the money of the mother, basically can not borrow anyone. Don't forget Money Halal” happy face changed in shock. He scratched his head. It looks like he's frustrated.

I am satisfied to see that face. A triumphant smile greeted the complexity of Rania's father's mind. Don't call me shafira if you can't make him suffer.

“trying father, Rania does not want to separate from father. Rania wishes dad successfully” cih, so glad he got a supporter. His face was excited.

“thank you dear” father and son cuddle. Let me be sure I'll win. I know from a long time ago until now he never had any savings in any bank.all his money went into the account in my name.

***

Mas Amir took me somewhere. Someone wants to meet, he said. I don't know.

This guy is always full of puzzles. I followed her will. Rania did not join because this is her first day at the new school. after one week taking care of Rania's move online. And the help of Rania's homeroom teacher at the old school.

“give me a chance to prove that I really love you. If after this your heart still can't be with me. I'll study sincerely. Because maybe no matter how big this love is, that much you will suffer if you can't accept me” he said slowly breaking the silence in the car, his gaze straight ahead focusing on the road while driving.

“honestly, I don't hate you. The fact that my departure was just a misunderstanding erased the hate instantly. But the feeling is gone there is no more happiness if we are with” my gaze is as straight forward as we talk without looking at each other.

“I know, and don't force . I have eight months before that day comes. May I protect and love you before I keep my promise” her voice weakens.

“do it, but don't expect much I can't promise anything” I'm right no. This heart really has no taste. Maybe living alone is a lot more fun.

the atmosphere was quiet again, we were drifting with our own thoughts.

Suddenly the car stopped, the man in the shirt of the box came out and opened the car door next to me

“mas help, his hand reaches out to hold me.

“I can myself” I'm down soon. Just wanted to prove I didn't need his help.

Standing in front of a one-story building. The atmosphere is quite comfortable. Large yard planted with green grass, white iron fence . This land area is about 20x25 meters. The magnificent building in the middle with the written name “KLINIK AZ-ZAHRA”. He took my hand in.

I just let him take me inside. At the entrance of the female employees lined up. I'm confused I'm looking at Rania's father. She smiles.

“welcome mother syafira, happy to meet mother ” greet me one by one. I'm still confused as to what exactly this is.

“introduce my name Doctor irawan.doctor psychiatric specialist. Coincidentally I am the head of this clinic. I was given confidence by the doctor and pak amir to carry out the task that” men with high performance.His skin looks clean even with his face.he welcomed us. speak with a friendly.

“bapak Amir has informed us that today mom will visit, let me take you around bu” still with no idea of shame this man took my hand. Walk around from one room to another.

There are several rooms that contain patients accompanied by adults may be parents or relatives, aged around 6 to 12 years, and some rooms look still empty.

“ocd disease now not only affects adults ma'am, children as well and the case is always increasing from year to year.I shave with the establishment of this clinic a lot to help them. Fast and precise handling can prevent more severe impacts caused in the future.”

The doctor's explanation made me understand that this was the clinic that caused the misunderstanding three years ago.

“ini is a subsidiary of PT. TWO PEARLS. The idea was indeed sparked from the doctor, but because of the condition of Madam Andara at that time the end of all funds of this clinic on behalf of the mother syafira” stunned me with the explanation of this doctor. indeed why Andara. Why it should be in my name.

After we got around, we went home. Curiosity haunts me. Hasn't Andara healed completely

“when giving birth to kenzy andara had a coma, the doctor was told to sign a statement stating that the doctor could not save both. Angga was told to choose one of the” explanation of Rania's father when we were in the car.

"all the investment money in the plant is attracted to the cost of Andara's treatment, so the clinic is pure with PT funds. TWO PEARLS and in your name" I glanced at Rania's father, I was moved but a little.

I took a heavy breath it turns out that Andara had received such a heavy ordeal.

“his current pregnancy is also at risk which is why the mother advised you at length at that time. She suffers from cervical incompetence or a weak uterus. The disease was passed down from his mother.

Still remind him when he told me in hospital” I still remember. The process of your birth that should cause her uterus to be removed.

Why do I get goosebumps hearing this story, I'm also pregnant what if I experience the same thing. Save me and my baby.

"is Kenzy no donation from you?" rania's father looked at me in disbelief.

"why look at me like that, is my guess right" lest he agree.just look

taking a deep breath about to run the car I held him. I needed an answer. I knew he was angry.

"since I was sick until I was healed I stayed at my mother's house, she and Nisa who took care of me patiently. I don't even know the news of your mother and father. sometimes I'm sad there should be you and Rania beside me, but what can be done is to say that we can't be together" the look on her face is sad.

"when I came home to see my mother at home, I saw Andara taking care of them patiently, with an enlarged stomach. she also gets psychic assistance from the doctor's house" She ducked in hiding her grief.

"i went back to my mother's house until you finally came home and Nisa returned my clothes.you know yourself"

"maybe in your eyes I'm a jerk who will never change, believe me one time enough I made a mistake. And kenzy's a doctor's son if you still don't believe. does Kenzy look like me? " i was silent.there was no reason for me to suspect her anymore, because Kenzy's face resembled that of you and her husband

why am I ashamed of my own questions.