Forced Love

Chapter 29. Strives to Survive

I'm not the holiest man in the world, nor am I a maiaikat. I am far from being a good word. The reason I kept my relationship with Dhito was not because I wanted to hurt myself. But because I know when I should choose someone good or not. It was when I maintained my relationship with Yori, because my fault was still blind due to feeling too deep. When I maintain my relationship with Fandi, because my mistakes are too selfish still want to maintain a relationship that is not mutual love and love. This time I want to hang with Dhito, because I know he's a sincere person. He was very sincere about my love, willing to patiently wait for me and until I cut off the relationship many times he was still struggling. Maybe it's just me trying to open my heart to good men like Dhito. It is not easy for me to open my heart to men who sometimes do not fit my criteria. The minus criterion in my eyes about Dhito is smoking. The rest is not there, with him already working and responsible to support his family alone is a plus for him in my eyes. Therefore why until now I still want to maintain and do not want to immediately make a direct decision to end my relationship with him. 

"So I'm not wrong if I keep thinking about Myth?" I asked Mytha over the phone.

Mytha sighed, "Gue was confused to be honest. On the other hand, Dhito temen me. Lo also Ri. I don't want to be wrong, but I don't want to judge Dhito either. Well, the choice in you, does Dhito want to continue to survive with your feelings that are not completely the same as him? But do you want to continue to defend out of pity? That's my question to both of you Ri."

"I have to end my relationship with him but I don't want to give a deep scar to him Myth, because he already hopes to be serious with me later Myth."

"Duh, son if you want that. He will defend even if he is sick to him. Yes, the only one must be firm, you Ri. Don't keep on holding on to false hope for her Ri."

"Everybody said gini. But the guenya is a Myth stone, you know for yourself, right?"

"Well, that's your ugly nature Ri."

"This is if I tell the same story Pran also surely he will also give the advice anyway."

"Yaaa back to you anyway Ri, still can not mean someone to finish or continue. Who fucked up your relationship.." 

After I told Mytha, Mytha gave the same advice. I kept pondering for a month but I kept paying attention to Dhito even though I was pretending. 

***

"Still strong?" Ask Mytha in BBM chat.

"Honestly, I've been with you Ri and so sorry for Dhito. But that's your choice, you want to know when I think gini continues. I as your friend can only remind and pray." 

"Yesaa Myth, I know how much of the same thing I do because of my unclear attitude. I accept Myth."

"Jaudah anyway I keep doain you same Dhito the best yes.."

"Thank you so much, Myth, always support and let me continue."

"Yes the same - Ri, will remind each other we are Ri." 

I was always grateful to have a friend like Mytha who never judged me when I chose wrong, but she kept reminding and caring about my choices. Even until now even though I had hurt his close friend he still continued to remind me without interfering. Same with Pran.

"Lo do not continue to force your heart to defend someone who is not lo dear and likes at all. It's called living your life and hurting yourself and others." Pran said on the phone.

"Yes thank you Pran, I'm trying again. Ah so sad lueee.... We found the three of us with Mytha."

"Yep, bring Dhito. I want to meet him Ri." 

"Yes, I'll take Dhito. We're in a group."

"Okeees."