Forced Love

Chapters 18. Me Time

Today it feels like I want to sleep, time to eat whatever I want, walk alone without being accompanied by anyone. 

"Today's gue wants to go straight back.." I answered while sitting together with my friends FAMTOM.

"Why lo?" Ask Mily curiously.

"Gue seems to need some alone time." Reply slowly. 

"Judah, we have just..." Sera Sahut.

"Gak Ser, I need some alone time first ya.." 

"Jaudah if that. Hope you enjoy me time lo yaa Ri." Answer Mily.

"Thank you guys..." I answered with a small smile. 

***

College hours are over, I just got off the FK building because I want to make time. Maybe I need some alone time. I walked on public transport and got off at a Mall on my way home. Walking with the aim of just wanting to lighten the contents of the head and reflect on what has happened to yourself. When I sat down because I was tired of walking around and looking - look, I opened HP and saw there was already a BBM chat, I was surprised to see the contents of the message turned out from Dhito. 

"Hi Ri's... How are you?" Ask Dhito in BBM chat. 

I didn't reply to the message, I just read the message. No. gabe... I didn't mean to ignore it. But I was confused when I started replying to her message does that mean I'm going to give her another chance? Or just a friend. Yep.. I ignored the contents of the message from Dhito until I was ready to reply later or not at all. 

Sometimes it's hard for me to understand myself, I should be able to appreciate Dhito who has tried to stay good with me and sincerely loves me. But I felt evil and wasted, sometimes I was confused with myself. There are men like Dhito who really love me but I am like this. Back then when Yori, I kept him but I kept getting hurt because of his attitude, when with Fandi it turned out that he wanted to be with me just because I was a medical student. This is a sincere Dhito without seeing who I am and he continues to survive even though I often hurt him with words of emotion. But if I keep him I hurt myself and him. I doubt and dilemma with my own mind and heart. 

***

The next day after I had time, Mily came up to me as I sat pensively.

"Where was the time yesterday? Exclaim?" Mily asked while stroking my hair. 

"Hahahaha, what do I mean by time? What did you get out of me time yesterday?"

"Dapette. The calm of Mil. Calm down from thoughts - thoughts and suggestions - advice that makes me confused and what to do. So as long as I time my heart and mind really - really clashing without any of the thoughts - the thoughts of others." 

"So you're confused is it the same advice - our advice yesterday?" 

"No, a lot of advice has gone into my ears not just from you guys.. From my cousin, from my high school best friend. Actually, I have to finish first and I think first, so I do not want to immediately take conclusions and decisions. I'm afraid I'll regret and feel guilty Mil."

"Hmm okay... Got it. So the same heart your mind is still turbulent, so you need me time..." 

"Yeah... And I'm grateful to have a FAMTOM that understands my circumstances and when you're there in my time of need." 

"It's okay Ri, everything's gonna be okay. And relax, there are no problems you can't solve. Want finally you yourself who finish or need our help - we are your friends or maybe your parents, brothers - you but will definitely be finished. Patience and continued introspection, Ri." Mily answered wisely. 

"Thank you Mil. Because for this Dhito case is different, I feel like I can't get to him but when I don't communicate with him I feel like something is missing, but if he's back with his luggage like that."

"Complicated anyway, but yaaahh lo more often pahamin yourself ajaa Ri want how. Calm down, if you need to confide or you can no longer finish yourself there is me and others. Okay?"

"Thankyouu Mil." I immediately hugged Mily and shed tears.

"Yes the same - same Ri..." Mily rubbed my back.

"Riri why?" Tami asked who immediately hugged me as well.

"Ehh nangis loh. Don't cry Ri hahahahahaah..." Mily said when she looked at my face.

I'm lucky they're all there for me whenever I need them.