College Or College Ah?

Am I being selfish?

"Huah cape is also the work of devotion while nanem tree seedlings" complained Nunu

"Yes nu, we take a bath with yu gerah?" bring Arika.

"In the meantime, tell Maru to take a shower first. We are mending drinking snacking or what used to be that" he replied.

"De, shower first? Change later" I said to the maru woman named Anit.

"Why did I go first?" tanyanya sungkan's.

"No papa, go first" Hanifa replied.

Two male maru named Fadlan and Fadli are still in the village with Nirwan, they must lift the waste of used cans collected to be sold to collectors and the results will be used to increase the cost of renovating the village mosque.

"So, is tonight the same Gian?" ask Hanifa.

"So ko, but I'm confused where to start" I replied.

"Good, don't be pushed back again because Kayi's face with Rani is no hahaha" said Arika.

After the shower and dinner, I called Gian.

"Yes so, I went there and ate, because this has just finished bathing and has not eaten" he replied.

While waiting for Gian, I informed Andreas. I said I'd go with Gian soon.

"Jaudah be careful and don't take long" he said.

Before long Gian came, he was a little neater probably because he had finished bathing.

"What motorbike do we want?" tanyakanya.

"Is there both?" ledek.

"Pinjem sir kadeslah, all the cementine I buy mosquito repellent" he said.

"The dirty is good" I replied.

"Eh just walk, my body let the motion is very cold here" I added.

"Hmmm okay" he answered.

Gianpun and I walked to the minimarket which he said was the closest distance, about 1 km more.

"Tumben you took me out" he said.

"I want to talk to you" I replied.

"What by the way?" tanyakanya.

"Many things, you want to hear?" my many.

"You are, we find a place to eat on the roadside" he asked.

"Aren't you eating?" I said.

"Ngemil hasn't" he replied with a laugh.

We sat in front of a warteg, I ordered a glass of ginger milk while Gian who said he wanted to snack instead ordered instant noodles.

I asked Gian to choose a seat outside, so that I could chat with him without hesitation and embarrassment.

"What the hell are you talking about?" tanyakanya.

"I just want to thank you, you always help me and... And I want you to be honest with me, actually you have more feelings for me?" I said.

"On that again, it's not my right to like anyone else?" said.

I changed my sitting position, which was not facing to face Gian.

"Not that, I really don't want to lose you as my best friend" I replied.

"Friends... Companions.... Why am I so bored?" tanyakanya.

"You mean?" my many.

"But gi, you know who I am now" I replied.

"Andreas? Tau... Even I've been aware how many times the same people around me, they say 'move on gian loi raina is the same as everyone else' but can't"

"You know how many times I try to get away from you, every time you're in front of me or even I hear your name being called by someone else I always try to avoid"

"But the end is just hurting myself and lying to me too....

Gian didn't look at me, he just looked down and was devastated by what he said just now.

I raised his chin, asking him to look straight at my face.

He smiled and held both of my shoulders.

"Don't ask me to forget you, because without you even mintapun I will try" he said slowly.

I smiled as a signal to send strength to Gian.

"Sorry, you really can't open your heart to Kayi?" my many.

"The question is I'm turning to you now, are you really not able to open your heart to me?" said.

I was silent without answering a word...

"You can answer your own questions, can't you, Rain?" said.

"I'm sorry, if I can choose I also don't want to hurt people's hearts. But love cannot be imposed, the heart chooses its own master" I replied.

I don't know why my tears flow when I have to say the words that I think are soft but feel the most painful.

"You don't have to bother thinking about my feelings, it's definitely my right to have feelings for anyone in the world" he said.

Our food is coming...

"Well, I'm a laper after being honest with you. How do we eat first?" said.

"Hmmm yes" I replied.

As long as he ate, I saw his face continuously. Imagine if I didn't fall in love with Andreas, maybe I'd fall into Gian's arms.

How not?

He obviously helped me and showed his feelings for me openly. He is also gentle and honest.

After all, Gian is a good man. I definitely don't want to lose a friend like him.

But, it feels selfish that now I'm afraid to be with Gian when Gian should have stayed away from me. Minimal to erase her feelings little by little to me.

"Can I ask for 1 thing not the same as you?" I said.

"Origin don't ask me to keep you away" he replied.

"Not ko, I ask you to tell me your first love story which he says looks like me" I replied.

"You know about that? If so you do not need to know, then you will feel more guilty to me" he replied.

"Why?" my tokyoo...

"Because everything in you is just as rich... There is nothing different from you other than body posture... The shape of the face, likes, speech, gesture and even your talents are the same" he explained.

"Yaudah, that's enough. You don't have to tell me anything" I said.

Imagining how difficult it is to be Gian when he has to deal with people who physically and almost resemble his ex-girlfriend who is not there, makes me feel hurt.

Then why do I still hurt him by asking him to tell me the saddest story ever again?

"I want to buy a drink haha kaya I have to mabok deh" he said with a laugh.

"Eh gabby!" my yelling.

"Joking, if you pay me to eat just now" he said.

"OK" I replied.