The Marrying Bet

Magic Shopping List

Vara rushed to the modern market located not far from the elite housing complex. He read many times the magic list. He immediately called Mbak Rani, a housewife who has been married for twenty years.

"Bak Rani, what's a certified egg, huh?" ask Vara.

"What eggs?" Rani asked back.

"Certified eggs" Vara repeated.

"Eggs with the halal label maybe, why are you asking that, Vara?"

"Thank you, ma'am, I'll call you back later" Vara said.

He was at the stall selling eggs.

Vara's back to someone.

"Ozy, do you know what a certified egg is?" ask Vara.

"Why are you asking me that?" ask Ozy.

"Just answer it quickly" said Vara. 

"The certified eggs hmm.. hihi..," Ozy chuckled.

"What the hell, Ozy, why are you laughing?" vara protests.

"That certified egg, not your husband's egg, huh? hihihi...," Ozy laughed again, making Vara snort riled.

"Ozy, mouth, Ozy," Vara grumbled.

"Loh, right, your husband has been certified by the Ministry of Religious Affairs, has got a halal stamp!" sahut Ozy's.

Vara looked towards the eggs arranged in her plate.

"Ozy, do you know what special meat is?" ask Vara again.

"Geez, Vara, don't you think your husband is special! His looks are so special! The special ones are definitely special!" continued Ozy.

Vara rolled her eyeballs back.

"Okay, okay, I get it, and then you know what milk-destroying animals are?" ask Vara again.

I heard Ozy laughing across the street.

"Why is your question so obscene Vara? Was your husband so savage that you became that obscene?!" comment Ozy.

Vara again harrumphed.

"After all, Vara, why are you asking such strange questions?" ask Ozy.

"It's a lucky guess, if my answer is all right, I'll treat you to a meal!" answer Vara.

"really?! Is your husband coming too?" ask Ozy enthusiastically.

"Vara, have you ever heard a saying?" ask Ozy again.

"What proverb?" ask Vara.

Ozy laughed again, saying the saying.

"Well, I get it, thank you, yes, Ozy, see you later," Vara said.

"Vara, greetings to your handsome husband!" ozy said before Vara hung up.

Vara can only shake his head, Ozy, his friend is very eccentric. More dandy than Viceroy. Vara seemed to get enlightenment after talking with Ozy. He immediately bought certified eggs at the egg kiosk, rushed to the meat stall to buy special meat, and lastly milk-destroying animals.

...*****...

Vara returns to Viceroy's mother's house, bringing the proceeds of her hunt in the market. Vara had not expected that in thirty minutes, he had already returned. Viceroy was still in the living room, sitting with his mother waiting for Vara's arrival.

Virda stared intently at Vara, walking towards the kitchen, telling Vara to unpack the items Vara had bought. Virda would literally throw and chase the woman away, if she misinterpreted the list of magical items Virda asked for. There was Viceroy, so all of you opened Viceroy's eyes, that the woman of his choice was stupid, brainless, and shameless.

"Get your groceries out!" virda's orders.

Vara released 10 certified eggs which Vara interpreted as salted eggs that are usually given a stamp on the shell. Viceroy took the note Vara held. Viceroy smiled, reading the list of mysterious magic items that Vara tested.

Virda had a flat expression, inwardly he cursed in annoyance, for this young lady in front of him brought him a salted egg which he had disguised as a certified egg.

Next to the special meat, Vara interpreted it as a typical beef inside which again made Virda have to cover up her shock. 

"Why do you interpret milk-destroying animals as these fish?!" asked Virda when he saw the live fish placed Bi Jiah in a large glass container.

Vara smiles.

"I remember the saying that says 'because tilapia is broken a speck of milk a long time'," replied Vara.

Virda still had a flat expression, he really could not accept this young woman was so smart in interpreting all her unique grocery lists. Of all the women he had tested using the item list, only this woman could interpret everything correctly. Again Virda is not willing to admit the success of Vara. He saw Viceroy looking at Vara with a smile. It was clear that the two humans in front of him were in love. 

Virda let out a heavy sigh, without saying a word, Virda left them.

...*****...

"Viceroy, why is your mom just quiet?" vara asked as they hurried out of the house.

Viceroy smiled looking at Vara.

"You should be happy, my mother isn't nagging" Viceroy said.

"really?" ask Vara astonishment.

"When I was a kid, my mom nagged me when I bought tapioca flour wrong. Mom told me to buy H-brand tapioca flour, because there was none, I bought another brand of tapioca flour that was cheaper. My mother was angry and nagged, telling me to return the flour and insisting that I look for H-brand tapioca flour" Viceroy recalled.

Vara laughed, he really should thank Ozy who has inspired him to answer the guesswork.