The Gray Autumn's

Chagrin et Regret

"Bbn ...." Aamber moved back as he heard the words that came from Benjamin's lips. While Fleur stared inexplicably at the father who looked filled with anger. A moment later, the little girl turned her gaze to Aamber who looked regretful. "Why did you say it, Ben?" aamber's voice sounded slightly trembling. In the end, the woman was crying.

"You forced me to say this, Aamber!" benjamin replied with great emphasis. "You should know yourself and be aware of your position. But look what you're doing? You've disturbed the peace of my life and even ruined it!" Benjamin, who used to be calm, now seemed unable to hold back his emotions. Everything that had happened all this time, had made him become extremely furious.

"You know if I did it for Fleur!" aamber strongly objected.

"Don't always call Fleur! You think I don't get what you mean?" Benjamin seemed to catch his breath. He tries to get back to his calm character. "Listen to me, Aamber. You have no right to give me any reason since you and your husband turned me down."

"I've never rejected you, Ben," Aamber argued sternly enough. "I had to obey my husband" he said in self-defense.

"There is no excuse that can justify you, Aamber," said Benjamin. "You know that I love Samantha very much and want to marry her. However, what you and your husband did instead made me lose him," Benjamin's countenance was full of hatred at the time.

"You know why, Ben. My daughter is very sick. We just feel scared" Aamber said in a trembling voice.

"You scared? What are you and your husband afraid of? For me there's still no reasonable reason" Benjamin argued. He still rejected all the reasons put forward by Aamber.

The middle-aged woman sat at the end of the bed. His face was sluggish. Tears continued to pour profusely accompanying the sobbing that slid from his lips. Aamber was at a loss for words. However, he also felt he had to give an explanation to Benjamin, especially to Fleur who at that time still looked clueless, with a discussion from the father and also someone who has been considered as a caregiver.

"You know if Samantha is seriously ill. She's our only daughter. It's hard for me and Duncan to take it off, especially for a guy like you" Aamber said slowly.

"Man like me?" Benjamin knitted his brows. "What's wrong with me? Why is everyone judging me so badly?"

"You're good-looking, come from a rich family, and a little bit of me or Duncan knows that you have a lot of girlfriends ...."

"That doesn't mean I live without a heart!" sidelines Benjamin with emotions that are back in attendance. "You think I don't have feelings?"

"We're just scared, Ben!" aamber strongly objected. The woman raised her face and looked at Benjamin fixedly. "We were afraid that when you found out that Samantha was sick, then you would ignore her and maybe even just leave her. There are plenty of beautiful healthy girls out there. That's why, we prefer to take care of Samantha without giving it to anyone," Aamber again sobbed. The pain was deep, clearly visible to him.

Benjamin did not answer immediately. He stared at the princess for a moment. After that, Benjamin turned his attention to Aamber. He seemed to want the woman to immediately give an explanation to Fleur.

Doubtful and looks worried. Slowly, Aamber moved from his seat and approached the little girl. He knelt before Fleur and seemed to ask for forgiveness. "Fleur, I'm your grandmother, honey. You're my only granddaughter" explained the middle-aged woman.

"What do you mean, Auntie?" fleur asked still not understanding. Benjamin was just watching them.

"No, Honey. I'd love to hear you call me grandma. However, I don't have the courage to tell you the truth" Aamber said with tears.

"Why?" ask Fleur. He then looked at his father. "Papa never said that I had a grandmother. I don't know if you're my grandmother, Auntie," Fleur said again with a strange look.

"Yes, Honey. It was all because I lacked the courage, and realized all the mistakes that had happened all along. I'm too embarrassed to say that I'm your grandmother" explained Aamber, sobbing.

"Tell him why you should be ashamed, Aamber," urged Benjamin, who had lost his temper over the attitude of the woman Fleur had known to be his governess.

Aamber looked doubtful. Every now and then, the woman looked at Benjamin. It weighs on Aamber's heart to tell the truth. However, the attitude and gaze that Benjamin was holding at that moment felt so intimidating. Aamber felt cornered and had no choice. He drew Fleur's hand, and he held it tightly. "I'm sorry, Fleur. I'm sorry," isak Aamber spoke again. The woman bowed.

"Don't beat around the bush, Aamber. Just tell me the truth!" insist Benjamin.

"Fleur, I .. You were just born into the world. On the one hand, I am very happy because of your presence. However, on the other hand there is enormous pain," said Aamber began the story. "At that time, the day after Samantha gave birth to you, her condition worsened. He was no longer able to survive until he finally had to give up on the disease that had been gnawing at him. Me and Duncan were so sad and devastated. Our great hopes were lost and destroyed instantly. Duncan was so disappointed. His maturity was gone and all that was left behind was anger. He cannot accept your presence. That's why, I was forced to hand you who are still a few days old to Ben, your father," Aamber explained at length.

"Your father has everything, honey. Look, he can take good care of you. He also fulfills all your needs. You'll be much more assured if you stay with him. My regret is only one. As a mother, I was unable to fight for Samantha's happiness, so she had to go through it all by herself. Now, that pain came back when I saw Ben find another woman he loved. I feel sad and unbearable with my own daughter. Besides, I'm also afraid that Elle can't be a good mother. Now I'm alive and I can take care of you, but I'm getting older and I don't know when I can hold on to keep you company" Aamber explained

"You think I don't love Fleur? You and your husband are just as petty, Aamber. Your mind is very narrow, so that makes the life you live feels cramped and makes you difficult to open up," said Benjamin deeply and firmly.