Special Journey

Episode 8

I half ran after Kia, followed by Brother Nada behind me.

My steps came to a halt, my heart pounding even three times faster than my normal heartbeat. There is a pain I cannot express.

Now I know why Kia ran and let go of my hand.

"Why Fah?" brother Nada glanced at me, having arrived beside me.

Brother Nada followed my gaze. "fah.. Goddamn!" brother Nada patted my shoulder a little tight.

I woke up and continued my journey while half-running, I don't feel like I'm on earth right now. I ignored Nada's question. I held back my tears from spilling.

"Abiiii... "

Kia hugged Haikal's legs from behind, but Haikal was shocked by Kia's arrival.

I immediately released Kia's hand from Haikal's leg.

It hurt to see Haikal they ignored Kia, even he tried to release Kia's embrace from her legs.

I ignored my pain, I was just afraid that Haikal would be rude and hurt Kia's feelings with his rude remarks, the chapter I know that Haikal no longer likes Kia, his biological daughter, no longer, his own flesh.

Mas Haikal looked at me and Kia cynically took turns, I knew that look was full of dislike and hate.

"Kija..."

I'm holding Kia right away.

"Pig... Kia misses!"

Kia's face looked sad.

"Kija.. Let abi go home first yes, later kia can play the same abi at home "

I tried to calm Kia down.

"Abi didn't miss sister?" ask her. Kia ignored my words, her tears began to fall.

My heart's defenses are starting to collapse.

"Well, are you here?His word hurts even wandering, basic slacker."

Mas haikal pulled the hand of the woman beside him and immediately left me and Kia.

I really hate that woman's gaze, that mocking look. The look seemed to signal that I had lost to him.

haikal's words pierced my heart deeply. I'm trying hard! I tried to ignore Haikal's words.

"Sorry, ma'am... I'm sorry to interrupt." just before they left me.

I left them with a step.

I held Kia tightly in my arms.

I'm still trying hard.

I don't know what I'm thinking, I'd love to look back, I'd love to see their affection.

I stopped my steps, just wanting to look back.

Let my heart see clearly their evil. Let se

How painful it was in my heart's space to see that beautiful woman wriggling in my husband's arm.

Give me strength, God.

"Mother...!Does abi not love big brother anymore?" kia's words opened my eyes to those in the forbidden romance drunk.

Kia's question is making this heartache even more painful.

"Darling.pardon Abi yes son, maybe Abi is tired, Abi must still love big brother." I rubbed his head gently. I wipe my tears gently.

"We're home, Fah." Brother Nada rubbed my back.

I'm nodding.

We left the restaurant. My mood is destroyed. My spirit is back to fade. In fact, my heart has not been able to accept this destiny of God.

"Afiifa, you okay?" brother Nada looked at me with a kasian look. Along the way I just kept quiet with Kia who had fallen asleep on my lap after being satisfied with crying.

"Lying when I say okay, brother, my heart really hurts, it hurts a lot." My tears are not stopping.

"You want to go for another walk?" ask brother Nada.

I'm aghast giving consent. "but you're not tired, Fah ? Are you still recovering?"

"Father, brother, don't take me home." I replied. "what am I supposed to do now, brother?" my connection.

"Where are we going first? Calm your mind first."

"As for my brother, I don't have the goal I want my brother, I just don't want to be home" I replied.

I exhale heavily, I wish my chest was more airy so I could breathe a sigh of relief.

"It's very difficult for this test. Alla once let Kia suffer so little. I want to give up her taste, brother."

My tears are back.

I bite my lip, I hold this up so it doesn't sound tight.

"Istighfar Fah, Istighfar... Don't curse don't be so bad to think of Allah, you are so great that God loves this trial."

"Astagfirulah.... Forgive the servant of God." I said softly, "You're here with me brother."

"We go home, brother." Suddenly I changed my mind.

"Why? It was going to take a walk first." brother Nada slowed down the speed of his car.

"I will immediately solve my problems and Haikal mas, I want clarity of our relationship, if indeed he does not want me and Kia anymore, I will learn ridho brother, I will learn, I decided to give up."

I'm already desperate.

I'd rather go as fast as I can than get hurt.

"All right, we're home."

We also headed home to my house.

***

At 02:05 PM.

I'm still waiting for Haikal to come home, I'm still faithfully waiting for my husband to come home.

Although I'm not sure he's coming home.

If it's true that he didn't come home, maybe he spent the night with his mistress.

Ahh the memories of the past are back to pass, inevitably I have to remember again.

"Even we've slept together" said the felli as if dancing in my memory.

Not long after, I saw Haikal's car enter the yard.

Astagfirullah... He brought the woman home.

why am I so nervous to meet Haikal?

"Why did I bring my felli home?" I greet them at the door.

Without answering my question, Haikal immediately brought Felli into the room.

My heart why not calm down to think of the two of them in there?

What the hell are they doing?

Astagfirullah... I can't imagine them being united in love.

How cruel the two men were.

Out of nowhere my courage came, I approached the room and I opened the door.

It burned my heart to see them making out. With Felli's breath growing sighed, enjoying their sin.

"Hey, what are you doing?" snapped at Haikal, seeing Felli smile made my heart even more torn apart,

"However you are, how you must have dirty things in my house." I held the anger in my heart.

"You don't deserve to be called human."

Not willing to feel the body of Haikal mas without a thread was in the arms of the woman.

"Your house? heh this is certainly not your home, this is my parents' house." Haikal smiled cynically at me.

Ahh true. This is not my house, this is really the house of the old haikal mas we occupied for five years.

"I forgot that this is not my house, but at least appreciate me who is still in this house, can't you wait for me to leave first? Or at least divorce me first." I was still staring at them, but this time there started to be hatred in my heart, I tried to hold back my tears.

" can't you wait for me and Kia to get out of here mas, after that you're free to bring this woman home" my voice trembled, but no, I can't cry. I will remember tonight as a reference so that I am sure to throw away my love.

"Mas... I'm sick of him, I don't like him to interfere with our pleasure." now feeling begins to talk, without the slightest shame he increasingly hugs him in Haikal, load their bodies more and more without distance.

"Get out there!" the Haikal mas.

"Down your voice mas, Kia is sleeping." I'm getting furious, my teeth are fused to hold the anger.

"Mas... Come on, just divorce her. It's so annoying to see a face, to make my mood crumble." Now Felli's pushing Haikal's body.

"Yes dear... I'm also sick of seeing his face, we'll go on again!" one kiss landed on Felli's lips.

"I said get out, get out! before I do anything rude." snapped again.

"However you are, by Allah I will not forget this pain. And you're Felli! don't you fear God's punishment? You bluntly commit adultery with a man who clearly has a wife."

"Remember, you'll feel the pain I feel. I'm sure God doesn't sleep."

My gaze was sharp on Felli he was Haikal.

Felli only responded to my words with a faint smile.

"Mas.." whine Felli spoiled while gently palpating bare chest mas Haikal.

Of course it makes me even more fed up but there is definitely pain in my heart.

"out... I said get out!" haikal again helped me get rougher. Even throw a charger that is above the nightstand.

"Don't yell at me Haikal, you don't have the right to be rude to me." I yelled back at him in a high voice. For God's sake this is the first time I've been disrespectful to her.

To my husband, ahh can't be my ex-husband's candidate.

"I'm going out" I said. "but please break off this marriage, please drop the talaq for me." suarat2 quivered. My tears are starting to stop me.

I asked for a word that God hates.

But my intentions are unanimous and I believe this is the best option.

"Haha... With pleasure Afiifah, with pleasure." now Haikal stepped closer to me, with a picture of his clothes dismaping.

Felli! the woman of his affair was still struggling spoiled on his right arm of course with a smile..

"Khairotul Afiifah, with full awareness and without any coercion from any side of me, Haikal Efendi released you from my status as my wife, I return you to your parents then I drop two talak on you, now please leave this room." Haikal steadily let go of me.

"Please out!" Get rid of Haikal while pointing at the door.

"Well, I'm going out, but let me stay in this house forever iddahku, after that I'll go back to my parents' house."

"No. Please get out of here as soon as possible. I don't want you to linger here, it bothers me."

"Good! Give me three days." I stepped out of that hellish room.

Thankful for being in front of them God gave me a little strength so my tears soon I could bear.

But this pain in the heart, only God knows.

Right now I'm confused by the taste I have.

Be ill... It hurts but there is also a little relief and soon God replaced the love in the heart is immediately lost almost without rest, even replaced with hatred and disgust.

Well... I'm just a regular woman far from being nice.

I am not Aisyah who can be patient with all the bad and vile deeds of her husband.

But I want to learn like umm sulaim "Rumaisha" who has incredible fortitude and learn to be willing with all the decisions God has made of me.

I realized, man only designs, god determines.

I designed a happy family, a husband loves alone without a third person, but if God changes the heart of Haikal, to turn the course of his love for me, what to say?

Life is not up to me, but life is according to the will of God, the god of all nature.

Maybe this is when I quit the fight to be the best wife.

I have been defeated by the charming charm of Felli who is able to hook the love of my husband to choose to let go of me and his son.

I'm slow, my body is almost down but I have to be strong.

I began to think about what I would do tomorrow.

I started thinking where my life should start again.

I lay down on Kia's side, I hugged her back tightly next to me, as I kissed her head full of love.

"We will be happy son, God will not waste our lives." I said softly with Kia in my arms.

As the source of my happiness and strength, Kia is also my greatest weakness.

I muttered with my own mind.

How does Kia live without her father figure?

What should I answer when he asks his abi?

I don't know...

Right now I'm just moving on.

It is up to God to manage my life.

I enjoy every wound and this duma, I will make him a lesson and a memory in the future.

I got a cell phone in my closet.

I opened whatshapp app.

"sister tomorrow I'll see you brother at nine, I'll have brother's confinement."

I sent a message to Valen's brother.

After that I typed up a conversation in my friend whatshapp group.

" i'll be home tomorrow after I get home from the hospital. Tomorrow at nine I'm going to the hospital.I need you guys."

Then I press send.

Several times I waited for a reply from them, but do not be read reply not my message.

Obviously I know they did not intentionally ignore my message but they must have been dreaming in their respective dreamland.

Very anxious this heart, several times I tried to sleep but the results are still sticky.

I decided to pray at night, after I saw the clock pointing at 03.10 p.m

I will tell all my worries to the Catholic.

I will pour out all my heart.

I will complain about the deeds of these two men created by this cruel God.

After complaining to God I seek tranquility by reading the Quran occasionally I try to understand the meaning of my reading.

Damn my concentration blur, ahh Can-can I hear a sigh from the front room. Could it be that they purposely injured me to the point of having to sigh very strongly.

Ahhe... This heartache, even though I am not Haikal's wife now, still hurts.

Honestly, there is still love in my heart even though my pain is greater.

But what power, my status is only a guest in this house.

I'm the woman who was just in my husband's thalak.

I'm the woman who denied the status of widow a moment ago.

I turned the chant of the holy Quran beside my ear loud enough that the sound of the sighs of immoral men I no longer heard.