Special Journey

Episode 30's

"Khoiratul Afiifah, listen to me! Stay in this room, and... Please be my life partner." Again Joseph stopped my steps, this time not only my steps, but also made my world seem to stop. My chest buds tried to calm down, as calmly as possible.

Regardless of Joseph's words, with an uncertain feeling of leaving Joseph's room, my goal was prayer.

I will tell God what just happened.

After arriving at dimushola, I immediately berwudu and perform Islamic prayers. Without hesitation I re-exercise the prayer of istikhoroh, the prayer of istikhoroh? Though before this prayer is not what I want to do. I don't know. God is turning my heart back.

"Allah is forgiving, please forgive all the sins of this servant, all the filth of the servant, all the pride and pride of the servant. O almighty God, whose destiny is in Your hands, what exactly do you prepare for my life? O God of power and will. I know my life belongs to You. I am pleased with all this destiny, I know that everything you give is the best. Oh Allah... I know that you are all about seeing him hear, I just want to complain and tell You about Joseph. What exactly is the fate of both of us? Joseph unexpectedly asked me to be his wife. Please God, give me a hint. If you allow me to receive his sermon, then rest assured my heart. But if you think he's not the best for me and Kia, keep his heart away from me and vice versa, please keep me out of his heart." My tears just spilled.

May God guide me.

I walked straight to Yusuf's nurse's room. My heart hesitated to meet Joseph. I saw Joseph through the glass of the door, he was asleep. I decided to stay outside Joseph's room.

"message?" I opened the phone and saw some incoming messages, the article was after parting from Haikal mas I rarely get messages from anyone. My friends or those closest to me call more than text.

"Priest candidate? God, why did I forget to change her name again?" I changed Yusuf's name before I forgot it again.

"Afiifa, sorry to make you uncomfortable, you should just go home before late at night, but please think about my request earlier, By Allah... I really love you and want you and Kia to be a part of my life." I read a message from Joseph.

I honestly wanted to go home and not meet Joseph for now, but my heart refused to leave Joseph alone.

Many times I exhaled heavily, in disbelief, when I was sick he proposed to me.

The night is getting late, quiet. Only occasionally heard the actions of the officers who were on guard at night, drowsiness attacked me.

***

"Mothers... Sorry, the patient's family mother is inside?" I woke up after feeling a touch discussed my right. A nurse who may be from Joseph's nursery.

"Yes Sus, I'm taking care of this patient," I looked up at my opponent, "What's wrong with my friend Sus?"

"This patient has a fever, ma'am, please help compress, I have given the circulation of the fever, later if it has not fallen in heat, can call the nurse again."

"There's plenty of Sus." I got up from my seat immediately.

"Same-sama Ma'am, I'm sorry." The nurse left me.

"It's a good thing I didn't go home and leave Joseph alone." I'm lirih.

I immediately checked Joseph's condition.

Subhanallah... Right, his body is very hot. I immediately compressed Joseph with warm water.

"Yes Allah... Forgive me I have to touch her."

"Hopefully you're okay Suf, I'm sorry I was late knowing that you had a fever, I just didn't want to give the devil a chance to tempt us." There was guilt in my heart leaving Joseph alone in my room.

I'm really worried, my heart is nervous, yes... May Joseph be well.

"Dad... Mothers... " I was surprised to hear Joseph speaking with his eyes closed. I remember what Nisa said, Joseph would love to call his parents when he had a fever.

"Yusuf... Relax, I'll accompany you." I touched Joseph's shoulder covered in a hospital blanket.

He must have missed his parents so much. As soon as I remembered Kia, would Kia also feel the loss of the figure of Dad as well? Did Kia miss Haikal too?.

"Dad... Mothers... " Yusuf called both names. It feels like my heart.

" Yusuf... Yusuf, calm down, it's okay Suf, calm down." I'm trying to calm him down. I felt Joseph's body temperature with my hands, getting hotter. Maybe the medicine has not worked effectively.

What else am I supposed to do?

I walked towards the ners station, "Sorry to disturb Sus, is there a male nurse on guard tonight? I need help." I asked one of the nurses.

"I'm sorry Mom, for tonight it just doesn't happen, there's usually always Mom, but she's sick so she's not in the service tonight, can I help you?" The nurse offered to.

For a moment I thought, do I have to ask this nurse for help to undress Joseph? But why does it feel like I don't want Joseph to be touched by another woman.

"Hmm, it's okay Sus, thank you." Finally I decided to change Joseph's own clothes. I went back to Joseph's room.

"Yes Allah... Yusuf, why is it like this?" I panicked to see Joseph's pale face, shivering and covered in sweat.

"What should I do?" I asked myself.

"God forgive me for touching Joseph so many times." I took a breath and threw it away slowly.

I tried to help Yusuf with all the nursing knowledge I had studied.

I began compressing with warm water replacing Joseph's clothes and blanket with a thinner one, shaking my heart when touching Joseph's body, my feelings were erratic.

" Oh Allah... Please control my heart" I tried to control myself, "sorry I'm Joseph, sorry I touched you." I tried to make Joseph half-sit down and take off Joseph's clothes.

"Afiifa...." Suddenly Joseph opened his eyes before I could take Joseph's shirt off. I immediately released my hand from the body of Joseph and O Allah... Joseph's body was accidentally slammed into the bed.

"Ma.pardon me Suf." I saw Joseph's eyes open, but as without strength. He's really weak.

He just smiled slightly looking at me, then his eyes closed again.

Now what else am I supposed to do? His body was getting hotter, his clothes were already wet from sweat. Already have... Just think of it as Joseph dreaming. I tried to take Joseph's shirt off and change it.

An hour passed, Joseph's body was still hot but disagreed earlier, it had begun to fall.

I kept compressing Yusuf, and glanced at the clock on the wall. At 02:45 in the morning. I'm starting to feel sleepy. I decided to sleep next to Joseph's bed, with my hands on my head. I was also a little relieved by the heat of Joseph starting to fall.

***

"Afiifa... "I immediately opened my eyes when I heard Joseph's voice calling me. I looked up at Joseph. I was aghast when I realized that Joseph's hand was on top of my head and rubbed it slowly.

I almost fell. Joseph smiled at my unconscious behavior.

"Sorry Yusuf, I overslept, have you felt better?" At first glance I saw Yusuf, he seemed to be a better jugo.

"Just a little dizzy." The answer.

"You whudu', it's dawn." Joseph passed by without seeing me, "where are you going? What's behind me?" Joseph's steps stopped when he realized I was behind him.

"Haaa?" I realized that I was really following Joseph from behind.

"Why? Want to come to the bathroom with me?" Joseph teased me with a smile.

Oh my... How shameful I am. I went back to the couch, I saw Joseph once in a while, to be honest, I was still worried that Joseph would fall.

But the worry was gone when he saw Joseph coming out of the bathroom. He immediately prayed and I also immediately berwudu', I decided to pray here alone, I could not bear to leave Joseph alone.

"Afiifa... Thanks for taking care of me all night, sorry if I've been bothering you." Joseph returned to his bed.

"Do you really feel better?" ask me, without answering the question. I tried to cast off the shadow that happened last night.

"Yes, I'm fine because you've taken very good care of me, once again thank you Afiifah."

"No matter Suf, I'm just running Anisa's mandate to take care of you." I still bow my gaze.

"Afiifa... L'm... "

Joseph's words came to a halt as a nurse entered. " Good morning, excuse me for checking on you." The nurse greeted me and Joseph.

"Please Sus." I took a few steps back from Joseph's bed.

"The heat is glorious down, the blood pressure of the Father alone is a little low, more rest and drink water!" The nurse's message before it passes.

"Thank you." I smiled at the nurse. He left me and Joseph.

"Afiifa... I need to talk to you, will you hear what I want to say?" Yusuf.

"What do you want to say?, if about your feelings? I don't want to hear it, you better focus on your recovery, "I'm leaving Joseph, "I'll be out for a while, do you want me to buy you something?" Ask before it passes.

"No." Answer's short.

"All right, I'll be right back here."

I also completely abandoned Joseph, my worry a little lessened.

I walked down the directions to the canteen. I don't know what I'd like to order, which I'd like to get out of Joseph's presence. I was afraid I could not control my feelings.

My mind travels everywhere, the shadow of Joseph's body sometimes comes to haunt me. Astagfirullah... I know this is wrong, may Allah forgive me for my sin.

"Mommy's order." Someone came with fried rice and aqua in his hand.

"False Bude." I took my mind off Yusuf, and immediately ate the fried rice I had ordered.

After breakfast I finished with no rest.

With a heavy heart, my feet stepped, step by step toward Joseph's treatment room, What exactly makes me uncomfortable meeting Joseph? I don't know if I'm confused, too.

Many times I exhaled slowly, trying as quietly as possible, before I finally knocked on Joseph's room.

"Assynoltom... " I walked over to Joseph, "I brought chicken porridge for you, eat it! " i thrust a bowl of chicken porridge before Joseph complete with mineral water.

" I'm not hungry yet, I'm not used to breakfast porridge." Joseph stared at the chicken porridge still in my hand.

"But you have to eat. Or do you want to eat that porridge from this hospital?" I replaced the porridge in my hand with the porridge from the hospital.

"I don't want any porridge." Now Yusuf grabbed his cell phone and fiddled with his phone aimlessly.

"So what do you want for breakfast?" I don't like the nature of Joseph that I think to these children, "say, let me find him again." I put the porridge in my hand on the platform of Joseph who sat cross-legged.

"Afiifa... I'm serious, I want to make you and Kia my family." I stay away from Joseph.

"say, why are you quiet?" Joseph asked again.

"Yusuf... Don't make me feel uncomfortable with you, now just focus on your health."

"alright... I'm sorry." Joseph reached out to the porridge I had bought from his bedside nightstand.

Sepi, only the occasional twinkling of Joseph's tablespoon was heard, loud but slow, I ventured to stare at his face. Sendu, without the usual smile always radiated. Is that why he disappeared? Is that so heartbroken for Joseph? No, who am I to fascinate Joseph? Da... Impossible feels.

Joseph went back to sleep after finishing his breakfast. I don't dare guess what made his passion go away. I don't care, yeah... I try not to care, I just carry out the mandate of Nisa to look after Joseph. As for the hibbah, I wanted to pretend.

Forlorn in my mind why hasn't Joseph been married all this time? Is it because of the woman who made him wait for those 6 years? Why did he change his mind after meeting me? It may feel pity and pity, not really out of love.

I'm someone who has failed in marriage, obviously I will be more careful in stepping.

Not only about my feelings, but also about Kia. But did Joseph really love Kia as he said? If true... What am I supposed to do?

I don't know... I can only leave all my problems to God, let God rule my life.

"Why did you change your mind to stop waiting after all these years?" I broke the silence.

"I just don't want to lose another chance." The answer without seeing me.

"You sure of your decision?" I looked at Joseph who was lying down.

"It doesn't matter if you're not sure of my decision, but don't doubt that he's my choice."

"Give me time to think." Inadvertently we looked at each other, Joseph seemed to be smiling a little. His eyes are so shady. I could see sincerity in his eyes, but still I needed time to make the biggest decision of my life.

"Thank you Afiifa, I will wait for your answer, and may my wait not be in vain." Joseph's eyes were shining. Is that happy with my answer to give him a chance? I will ask God for guidance and certainly the blessing of parents. I wouldn't make the same mistake.

I returned his smile.

Back lonely, we just play with each other's thoughts, occasionally Joseph steals a glance at me Sbil smiled. Like a teenager who just fell in love.

"Assalamualaikum.

Seriate....