Special Journey

Episode 42

"Stttt..." I signaled Fariz to be quiet.

Joseph prayed especially, slowly I approached and crouched down beside Joseph, a little far away.

He looked, "Thank you for looking at Kia Om Yusuf."

"Kia was happy... Now it is Joseph who must be happy."

He just kept quiet, wiping away the rest of his tears.

"I'm back in the car, brother, Bang Satria... I'm waiting in the car ya." me and Yusuf just caught a glimpse, I nodded.

"I'm sorry, dear Joseph..." Joseph rubbed Kia's headstone. "om Yusuf could not take care of Kia well, because of Yusuf Kia like this."

"I'm sorry Afiifah..." Yusuf looked at me.

"I'm sorry... I've made you lose Kia."

I shook my head. "just blame yourself Suf, look at me... I'm her mother, no one loves Kia more than I love Kia, but I know... Kia's just a deposit, only until here God gives us confidence to look after Kia."

"You too must learn to be pleased with all the decisions of God, your presence in Kia's life has made Kia very happy. Believe that... Kia won't blame you for this either, it's just an accident, I know... You were trying to save Kia back then."

Joseph's gaze was straight down. There's nothing he wants to talk about.

"Those who hit you and Kia have also come to the house many times to apologize to Mother, Father... Mami Papi, but I've never met them, but I've forgiven them."

"I saw Kia's body covered in blood, why should Kia be the victim of their carelessness? Why am I not the only one targeting their car? Kia still deserves to live longer, Kia who can make you happy!" Joseph's tears came back.

"You have no right to Kia's life either, what can you do if God wants to take Kia back?"

"You don't want to try to make me happy anymore?" accidentally stare.

Joseph just nodded. "I don't know, I feel inappropriate."

"Why? You've been tired of waiting for me for years?" Sontak Yusuf looked at me with a frown on his forehead.

"I know Suf, I'm the woman you've been waiting for for six years, I'm the woman you've asked for in your prayers, I'm the woman you prayed for to part from her husband. Your egoist..." I smiled cynically.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean? You know what I mean."

"yes... But why do you say I'm selfish? I never forced you to leave your husband! I have never disturbed your household, he alone is inappropriate for you, your soul mate is over, yes... I often fantasize and pray with you." Joseph threw his face.

"Yes... You never interfered with our marriage, but consciously or unconsciously, perhaps indirectly your prayer that God gave you, you told Fariz, if you often wish and pray that I separate from Haikal." I smiled back cynically.

He's back to snitch.

"But what is this! After I completely split up and learned to accept your proposal, for no apparent reason you canceled your proposal! Dumped me after you held me high. It hurts."

"Maybe you used to want to be with me because there was Kia, got a bonus Kia, huhf... You know how much Kia wants you to be happy? How much does Kia love you?"

"He once said... No matter if Haikal did not love Kia anymore, Kia had never asked Haikal again in prayer before her sleep, but you... Gets the love from you he expects."

"Kia won't blame you Suf, so stop blaming yourself, Kia has been happy enough in her life to be with you for a while, let go of your burdens and guilt, believe me... Our destiny God has written."

"How could I just forget about it! How can I not feel guilty? Kia was like this when I was with me, I did not know that Kia was following me from behind, until I heard a loud bang, I saw the car slam the steering wheel towards Kia, I'm sorry Afiifah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't keep your trust to take good care of Kia, I don't deserve to be with you."

Seeing Joseph weeping I could not bear it. But what can I do? Hugging it is impossible.

If only I had accepted Joseph's proposal immediately, we could have strengthened each other and Kia could have been with Joseph at any time before his departure.

"I'm sorry, son." My tears are flowing.

"Thank you for being the most beautiful part of the last few years, I'm so grateful to have given time to take care of Kia."

"You didn't...? Kia it has advantages that not everyone has." I glanced at Yusuf. He's still quiet.

"Whe's a brave man. He can see what we can't see, often he tells me he has friends I can't see. Once he was afraid, he said he saw a big black giant in our house first. He was shaking and crying."

"I know..." Sela Yusuf's. "She had also unconsciously said that she saw people walking a lot in front of her, several times I heard Kia as if greeting back to the people who greeted her. I know Kia's a great, strong boy and he's... If it is different, God gives it an advantage." Joseph took a deep breath.

"But baby... I can't take care of her anymore, one of the greatest favors of my life, is being able to meet Kia and love Kia wholeheartedly. I just haven't been able to accept the fact of losing Kia so soon, I'm not just your daughter... He's my son too." Joseph's gaze was devoured, empty.

"I don't regret ever letting go of you for your ex-husband, but to be honest... I'm so happy and grateful for your separation."

"Hmm" Yusuf smiled here. "I do not regret my grateful and happy disgrace over your and Kia's suffering." My forehead was clenched to hear his words.

"Are you grateful that Kia and I are sad?" I looked at Joseph passing by.

Smga. "But then, now I feel guilty instead, if only you hadn't gone from Jakarta, you wouldn't have been here, and wouldn't have met me, wouldn't have made Kia an accident, and Kia won't be like this, now I'm so sorry. Youre right... I'm selfish."

Ahh regretted that he said he was selfish, the intention of the heart wanted him to rise, but it turned out to make Joseph feel more guilty.

"If Haikal and I had not been separated, Kia's life would have remained the same, just maybe the different way God took Kia. Pl-please... Don't make Kia feel guilty for making you sad, I'm her mother... Thank you for loving Kia sincerely, please always pray for Kia, believe me... Kia is so grateful to meet you and get your attention and love."

"Let's go home... "

"Have gone in asar."

"Start learning to accept Kia's departure."

" I've never blamed you for Kia's passing, this test is so hard for me, but I know God wants me to remember HIM more and God is loving me right now."

I stood up and glanced at Joseph. Seeing that Joseph now looked weak made my heart ache, it was true, I had fallen for Joseph.

"I go back first, Assalamualaikum."

"Mosur." Joseph remained in place.

I slowly began to walk towards leaving Joseph.

"Kija... " My steps stopped, the tone of this call was heard when he asked me to be his life friend.

I turned my head, without turning around."hmmm?"

"What's wrong?" Yusuf down. I saw sorrow in Joseph's eyes. He was like a father who lost his beloved daughter.

"Once again forgive me Afiifah, sorry for the carelessness I took care of Kia. And... I'm sorry to cancel my proposal if it makes you sad."

"Not what Suf, Kia's problem... I say again, it is not your fault, I believe all these trials will be a gift, I just learn to always be ridho with the qada and qadar of Allah."

"And for our problems... The feeling came from God, God is very easy to turn our hearts back, I once read a sentence from Ali bin Abi Talib "love is not to be anticipated, he said, take it with courage or let it go with pleasure" 'Now you have done the right thing, perhaps God did not create us to be together."

"Hopefully you can find a companion in the world and in heaven, a sholihah, who is a healer in all your pain."

"you are a good man, sholih inyaAllah... You'll meet soon."

"Thank you Afiifa..."

"Hmmm..." I smiled again, there was a little fear of losing Joseph, but no... This is not right, this is wrong.

"Once again thank you for being there for me and Kia in these months, may you always be happy Suf, soon get married if you have found the best woman, hunted aged hehehe."

"I'm first yeah, assalamualaikum."

With uncertain feelings I left Joseph, sometimes I look back, Joseph still felt at home for a long time in the words of Kia, sometimes I saw him as if he was talking. What he told Kia.

"Yes Allah... Where's Fariz?" I realized Fariz's car was no longer there.

"Did Fariz go home first? Ck... Tu son." I stopped the car.

I scroll through Fariz's contact name.

"Assynoltom... Hehe."

"Wa'alaikumussalam, ehh even laugh, where are you?" I can imagine Fariz's facial expression while revealing his teeth.

"You left Yusuf here alone? There's no morality to you."

"Sorry, you guys are long gone! I miss Nisa, hehehe... Sis please donk interin bang Satria home! Pleases... "

" gr... Brother has come home, brother just realized that your car was not there." I lied a little.

"Oh my God, please pick me up again."

"Don't want to be big brother, you brought him! Why must I be left behind." I'm upset.

"Sister... If bang Satria go home alone kasian, from TPU out look for ojek, golek taxi or whatever it is, far away... What if his head hurts again? Please brother... Please." Please."

"I thank you, next time I'll be responsible for bringing people's children."

"Yes is my sister... Bang Satria mah male, strong he mah, but the problem is now bang Satria has just risen from the dead, later if the former operation is problematic how?"

"That's it... You're well, like you see brother praying together-two with Joseph, open the muhrim." I swear I was upset by Fariz's attitude, I knew he must have been on purpose.

"Yes, sister, marry me... Let it be muhrim. Heheh assalamualaikum, please pick up my brother-in-law, Please."

"Kc... This is the boy, Wa'alaikumussalam."

"Huffs.. "I was breathing heavily.

"That's it... Kasian too if he has to go home and find a taxi." Help me.

From far away I could see Joseph in confusion, unaware my lips were smiling. He seemed to be talking from the phone, occasionally he rubbed his neck. Definitely again talking to Fariz.

"grandfather..." He looked at me hearing my horn.

"Afiifa! How come back again?" He approached me.

"Hm. Fariz called, said he went home first, you long ago, he misses Nisa so much." I smile.

"Let me take you home!" my orders, with my neck broken.

"Kc... Fariz anything. No need, no papa, I can walk ahead looking for a taxi or gojek." He refused by stretching out both hands in front of his chest.

"Udah afternoon, it is not easy to find a taxi, anyways from here in the future quite far, you just healed. I'll take her. Come... "

"Hmmm..." He seemed doubtful.

"Come on... No papa, I'll escort you safely home." I'm a horse.

"OKAY. Maxih before, come on." He was still at the front door of the car next to me.

"Yes come! Why are you still out there?" bewildered. Come on, but he's still out of the car.

"Lho! You're moving mbokyo, how would I go up if you were still on the wheel!" reply Yusuf.

"Who told you to bring whose car? Sitting beside. Today I'll be your personal driver." Little smile.

"Kc... No, I'm a man. Cook you who mengopirin me? Let's move!" He opened the car door.

I'm still sitting pretty. "Come on... I'll hold your hand if I don't want to move." His hand approached my hand which was holding the steering wheel.

"Eh... Not muhrim." Soon I moved places.

"From the cake." he said. While taking a driving position.

"Is it true that you have a car with you?" Of course I was afraid and anxious, not only was he afraid of why, but I was also afraid that something would happen.

"Well, don't be afraid! I must be careful. Not married yet, not yet dead!" His eyes focused on the road.

I smiled hearing her curses.

"The believer must always be ready to die." I also spread my eyes out the window.

Oh Allah... After a long time of not feeling dead with men, this is the first time after a few years ago Haikal made my birthday surprise, which makes me happy so that my heart beats irregularly.

After Haikal moved my heart, I forgot what it was like to be pounding in love.

"Astagfirulah... "I said Istighfar while gently rubbing my chest. Forgive me for this sin, O God. I have not been able to fully control my lust, I still feel in love with this man beside me.

"Why?" Yusuf glanced at me.

"What?" my eyes are still out the window.

"That's what Istighfar was? Afraid of both of me?"

"Kc... Udah, the focus of the drive, later even can not feel married."

"Haha... "

After a while on the road, convey in front of a house that is quite magnificent with two floors. Joseph's House.

Immediately I leave and leave the house of Joseph, I want to get home, sultry... I want to find water quickly.