Special Journey

Episode 35's

I looked at Fariz and raised a little of my upper lip, "Say you're kidding deck!" I threw away the sight of Fariz. I don't want to believe the news from Fariz I just heard.

"Sister... I don't want to believe it either. Because that's... Let's go to the hospital." Joseph walked over to me. I don't flinch at Fariz's words. But somehow my chest started to sip.

"Afiifa... Honey, we don't know for sure what they are, so calm down, son." Mother rubbed my back. Upturned. I tried to block the tears that were about to pour into my cheek.

I'm still quiet. Empty gazes. I still think they must be kidding. But this is the wrong joke.

"Son" I also gave my understanding.

"No... I can't believe it! You must be lying, try calling Yusuf. I want to talk to him directly. This isn't funny. I'm not on a birthday to surprise you like this." I looked at them. My tears are starting to fall.

"Just a few hours ago they were saying goodbye just to cycling Well, why did you tell them about the accident?" Mother's embrace was unable to make my tears stop.

"You guys just go! I'll keep Nisa here." I wiped the tears with my arched index finger.

They're still pecking. Silent.

I looked at them rolling.

For a while later, Dad broke the silence. "You really don't want to come?" Dad patted me on the shoulder, and I just nodded.

Trauma of the past. Almost 11 years ago. When Roy, the son of my aunt, my cousin's sister whom I loved so much, crashed and breathed my last in my arms, I could not imagine the same thing happening to Joseph and Kia.

I am afraid of losing two precious people in my life.

Da... Joseph filled the space in my heart. Joseph began to rule my heart. I love going back and forth in my brain.

Just this morning I told Joseph to answer his sermon. But why do I have to get such strange news now.

"We go, brother, pray for Bang Satria and Kia brother." Without being asked by Joseph to call me.

"Anisa's coming with Bang!" Nisa snatched Fariz's hand.

"But you're not well, baby!" Fariz tried to hold Nisa.

"I'm going crazy thinking about Bang Joseph and Kia here yank, no matter how much they're part of my life. Pleases... " Nisa combined both hands. Weld.

"alright... Mother will take care of Nisa Riz, as well as her, must not be calm at home."

"All right!"

They began to leave me who was still sitting obeying on the side of the bed. "I'm coming!" I stood following those who now stopped at the door.

Without question. Without any words. We left the house. I was afraid to think bad things of Joseph and Kia. I can't afford to lose them, like I lost Roy.

11 Years still makes me miss Roy. What if later... I.., ah I don't know.

I occasionally glanced at Nisa who was holding back vomiting beside me. But my hand had no intention of helping or just stroking Nisa to give her some comfort.

My whole body is stiff. I want to get to the hospital soon. But... I also want to wake up immediately from the situation I hope this is a dream.

Sometimes I squeeze both fingers. Closing my eyes, trying to get rid of my anxiety.

The car we were driving began to enter the Hasanuddin Hospital area. The biggest hospital was in my city and the hospital was the witness, when I was unexpectedly preached.

Instantly, Joseph's face flashed across my mind. I hope he's okay. May Allah protect us.

I walk around, my body needs to be held. Weak feet. Like I was in the air.

Dad's move stopped in front of the ER, and we all followed. "Sit down! I'll check inside." Father who works as a Abdi Negara, is always put the body on his family even though his age is no longer young, but Dad is a figure who still looks mighty.

"Fariz is coming with Yah," Fariz positioned Nisa on the waiting bench.

"No, they need you here!"

My tears are constantly flowing. Anxiety I can't hide. Fearful. Really am... I fear losing anyone between Kia and Joseph. What else until losing both.

"Behold dear." Mother rubbed her back up and down, "we just pray. I hope they're okay."

"Mommy's Papi you've been told by Suf?"

"Have Bun, maybe they'll arrive tomorrow morning."

"How's your grandfather doing?" Mother looked at Joseph who never let go of Nisa's hand. It's so cute Nisa. On the other hand, the grandfather was also lying down, against the critical period of one of the hospitals in Jakarta, due to a sudden stroke.

"Still in a critical Bun," replied Fariz.

"Darling... Believe me, life and death are God's business, it is important that we both pray for the healing of all." Mother is now sitting in front of Nisa.

Nisa was so shaken. Hopefully baby Nisa is strong to bear this burden with Nisa, really I am worried about Nisa's condition, even though I am not good.

"Dad...!" We all got up close to Father, wanting to know the condition of Joseph and Kia.

"Let's relax! The doctor's dealing with them." Dad let us sit back, look at dad's behavior, I caught something bad.

"What if Roy happened to Joseph and Kia?" I said softly. I don't know who I asked that question. Really am... I don't dare to suppose anything bad happens.

Hearing my words, everyone was silent. Mutely. As if they didn't dare make me wish for more.

"Family of Joseph and Syakia!" Simultaneously. One way, our eyes were fixed on the sound. A nurse gestured to follow her in, "two people only sir." explained the nurse when we were on the doorstep of the ER.

"Aren't the patients two people? So we let us in." I stared at the nurse.

"But Ma'am... "

"What sis, let them in." A young Doctor, resolute. We got in.

"Good Doc."

I don't care about the nurse's response. "Still Doc." said Fariz behind me.

"Sister... Comeing! Why stop?"

"Doctor... Just tell me, how are the conditions of the two patients!" I turned the body. Then walked up to the doctor who was a few steps behind me. I'm not ready to see Kia's condition.

"Come in, if you want to see Joseph and Kia." I'm lirih. Without intonation, without expression, "I don't want to see them."

"Sister...!"

"It's okay Riz, brother just wants to know their condition."

"Okay, please sit down!" The doctor invited me with his hand.

Followed by everyone behind me, and Nisa sat beside me.

"Mother please sit down!" The Doctor's orders to Mother. The feeling of growing uneasy with the behavior of the doctor to us.

"Look... I introduced myself earlier. I'm doctor Daniel. I'll explain the condition of both patients." Doctor Aiman looked at us one by one.

"Just do your best Doctor." That was all I could say.

"Well sir, we'll do our best for both patients."

Alright. I will strengthen my heart. I'll strengthen my footrest. I cannot be weak. Kia needs me.

With that feeling I don't know, I tried to get close to Kia, the loud sound of monitor singing pierced the recesses of my heart. It hurts to be heard.

I looked at the small body before me, some wires attached to the tub full of love almost filled Kia's chest space. The monitor screen that seemed to answer the state of Kia.

Kia's chest was rising and falling irregularly. One hose stuck in Kia's mouth, which became the air link to the depth of her chest.

There were scratches on both sides of Kia's hand.

Little kia... It is so hard this test. Either for Kia or rather God showed me this test.

I held Kia's little hand, "Oh Allah... Include strength, fortitude and care for this test for me."

"strong darling... How do you live without Kia?" if you ask me how I am right now, my tears might be enough. Crushed. Smelt.

"Mother... Doctor, please rest assured me that he's fine!" Unknowingly the clutched hand was tainted by Doctor Daniel. Quiescent. Without response.

"Bun... " Call me down." Is Kia gonna be like Roy?"

"Husse... Husnuzon, for now believe your heart Kia will be fine." Mother pulled my body in her launch.

"We're moving it to the PICU, ma'am! But... The family can't wait inside." I just nodded without understanding.

"Doctor... Can I have both of my families treated by a doctor please?" I remember a surgeon who used to treat Yusuf, Sila's doctor. I want Joseph to be okay.

"Sorry Mom, for Mr. Yusuf can, but for whichever, we've contacted the pediatric surgeon ma'am."

"All right." Actually, I didn't know that Kia had to be handled by a pediatric surgeon, only if it was a doctor please, maybe I could have consulted without awkward, I could have shed all my race.

"Please Mom," The nurse who brought Kia's cage invited me to follow, "your husband has been brought to the ICU first, Mom." Doctor Aiman answered what I was about to ask. I kept going after the Doctor and Nurse who brought Kia.

"Mother, Afiifah kemushola first, Afiifah pray for a while." I decided to complain again to God, after glancing at the black clock that was coiled in my left hand.

"Well doin... Quit praying immediately, but really Afiifah can be alone? Or would you like to accompany Mother?"

"No matter Bun, Mommy please take care of Nisa, at this time Nisa needs Mommy other than Fariz." Aye! Anisa's condition is more worrying than mine.

I don't know what the turbulent feeling in the heart, I started to take a slow step. My mind is confused, sad, afraid of mixing.

My tears are unceasingly flowing, like a broken dam. Plentifully.

Immediately berwudu' then pray sunnah. Not much can be said from my lips, just asking Kia to be healthy, asking to be given a longer time to accompany Kia, given the opportunity to learn to be the best Mother for Kia.

So too with Joseph. I want to be a painkiller in Joseph's life.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Joseph.

After the prayer, I will be back soon. This time I want to see Joseph's condition. Even though it's just behind the glass.

Joseph's face looked so pale. But that did not take away Joseph's good looks. He still looks cold in his attitude. Different attitude with Kia. Da... The attitude that has been able to melt the defenses of my heart. Melting my black time with Haikal. For the first time I stared fixedly at Joseph, softly. My heart ached to see Joseph wrapped around various cables to the medical device on his body.

"Can I come in for a second, Sus?" I asked the nurse who just came out of the ICU.

"Just a moment, ma'am, after this the family has to follow the rules." The nurse smiled gently, as if to comfort my broken heart.

"All right, thanks Sus." I'm wearing a special suit to get into the ICU.

"Assynoltom... Yusuf, I know you can hear me. I'm holding you accountable. Didn't you ever say you'd take care of me and Kia? Can't you wait a minute? See you in the afternoon, the time we promised?" I sat weakly by Joseph's side.

If only I had received Joseph's sermon earlier, I could have embraced Joseph without hesitation. Without fear of God.

"hold on! I'm begging... Please accompany me through this exam." What can I do other than this?

Really am... God's plan nobody knows.

I just wanted to create a new day. To pick up the happiness that I have neglected, God has broken.

"I'm sorry Joseph. I'm late to make you happy."

I can only stare, without touching. My tears are not stopping. Very swift. My world seems to be at a standstill.

It is a pain in this heart. Torn tub.

I left Joseph in this terrible room.

"How's Joseph Fah?" I just shook my head to answer Mother's question.

"Syakia's family?" A nurse approached me.

"Yes Sister."

"Please. Doctor Aiman has come, the family is asked to see him." The treatment allowed me and the others to see Dr. Aiman. I don't know who he is! Maybe he's the doctor who's gonna take care of Kia.

"Please sit down." Briefest. Dense. That may be typical of a busy doctor.

With his glasses fixed, the Doctor looked at me. "Syakia's parents' mother?"

"True Doc."

"alright... I'm Dr. Aiman, a pediatric surgeon. I've seen the condition and the results of the CT-scan of the child Mother, it looks like the condition is quite severe." he paused for a moment his explanation. "I also had a medical consultation Anastesi, yes... Same. The condition is pretty heavy."

"Then what is the best course of action for my grandson Doc?"

"Hmmm. Sorry sir, nothing for now. Only 30% success."

"Isn't that 30% also a doc's chance? Can't we try that luck? Please forgive. Doctors are also only human, God determines our dead lives."

"I know Sir, I understand. But according to the science I've learned and my years of experience, this is my conclusion sir, the accident damaged the entire Syakia brain tissue."

"I want to try the 30% doc, do it... I beg you."

"Well...!" I looked at my own father, "didn't the doctor explain Kia's condition, Afiifah knows it's hard, but... Kia's condition is heavy. Maybe right now, it was Kia's mouth that helped Kia breathe." I'm styling Dad with a feeling I can't say. "I'm sorry, Doc."

My gaze shifted to the glazed figure in front of me. With a mask that covers part of his face.

Trett....

"Doctor. From Bad 04." A nurse approached us in a hurry after the bell rang out.

Although I no longer work in the hospital, but I have not forgotten this sign.

"Come on... "Doctor Aiman stood up immediately." Please come with me." he stuck out his hand. Please allow us.