Special Journey

Episode 20's

After I finished and kia down one step after another, I was really happy to see kia always smiling.

" sister nisa, is she beautiful? ". Kia approached Anisa in the living room, they must be waiting for me and kia.

" it's so pretty ". Anisa holds both cheeks with her hands.

" we go first bun ". Fariz kissed the hands of his father and mother, and was followed by all of us.

" be careful, take good care ". Mother led us to the door.

We also waved our hands at my dad's dandane.

The car we were driving started to go at a very high speed.

I don't know what's churning in this heart, so it never calms down, my heart beats fast.

You really feel bored.

I feel uncomfortable.

Astagfirullah... I repeatedly said Istighfar wishing I could calm down.

Being among them made me seem invisible.

Anisa and Kia are so fun to tell stories and joke.

Fariz and Yusuf were too focused on talking about their work.

I just play with my own mind.

I put my head on the headrest.

After a 30-minute drive, our car finally parked in the largest mall in the city.

I followed Fariz and Yusuf out of the car, as did anisa and kia.

Our first destination was a jewelry store,

I smiled at Fariz and Nisa who were cool in choosing ring jewelry.

" this is good, isn't it? ". Nisa asked me while showing me the ring in her middle finger.

" good ". I answered Nisa's question with a smile.

" oom kia to drink ". I turned towards kia and yusuf who were sitting on the waiting chair beside me.

With a smile full of gentleness, Yusuf opened the lid of the bottle in his hand. I thought Joseph was like a father who was babysitting his daughter.

Without realizing it, Yusuf looked at me who was smiling looking at his behavior and kia.

" why are you smiling?, thinking that I deserve to be your father ". Yusuf's words made my smile disappear, I threw away my gaze from them without responding to Yusuf's words.

After buying some jewelry we left the jewelry store and continued looking for other equipment.

***

8 Hours we have been pacing independently and back and forth, up and down through almost all the rooms in this mall.

" we pray first yes, it's 15:05 now, then the time of his zuhur runs out, after which we continue again ".

I looked at them one by one.

" okay, "answer them almost simultaneously.

We also went to the mosque on the lower floor to pray, as well as kia who also participated in praying together.

Allah is so shady in the face of Joseph who was soaked in whudu' water'.

Without excuse I want Joseph to be a father to us.

Astagfirullah.. I immediately dispelled this crazy desire of mine.

Wherever I may hope for the near impossible, I am only a widow, a woman who failed to keep my husband from the temptations of other women.

We also pray by ourselves.

After the prayer we resumed our search, this time the equipment for prayer.

In a fairly large store with fairly complete equipment, we began to choose the items we would buy.

I also intend to buy a new mukena, for me and kia.

" let me pay for it ". Yusuf suddenly took out a black card from his wallet and gave it to me.

" don't yusuf, let me pay for it myself "I pushed Yusuf's black card out of my sight.

But Yusuf instead gave his Black card to the cashier.

" pay for this only mbak".

" well sir ". Answer the cashier.

" this is take ". Joseph gave me his paper bag.

" i really don't feel good Yusuf, I just change your money huh? ". I hesitated to take the paper bag.

" no papa, take it, consider it a gift from me, as your birthday gift and kia ". I looked back at Yusuf beside me in confusion.

" who's the birthday? " i asked joseph.

" you hmmm or maybe kia ". The answer is short.

"but my birthday is still very long even I just had a birthday 2 months ago kia is also still a long time". I still look at her in wonder.

" no papa, so just think of it as a gift from me late, which obviously you must have a birthday, right? ". Ask yusuf.

" aha... Sure enough, there's no way I'm going to come into this big world ". I am glad to hear the words of Joseph.

Joseph smiled bitterly and saw me laughing.

" mother.. Kia want to play there can't she? ". Kia's legs stopped when he saw a vehicle game.

" if mom can't how?, we have to go home, is her brother not tired already walk almost half a day? ". I stopped beside Kia.

" well, let's go home ". I don't have the heart to see the disappointed face.

" here om yusuf sling ". Joseph extended his hand to carry the kia.

" don't be sad, tomorrow om promise, om yusuf will be looking around and playing, seeeepuasnya, how? But now we go home first "joseph tries to persuade kia.

" yusuf jini? ". Kia gave her index finger in front of Yusuf's face.

" god willing o yusuf promise ". Joseph saw his little finger and kia.

" now we go home first, kasian also sister nisa must be tired ". I stroked kia's head covered in a veil.

" but if you eat first can't you?". Kia put a hardened face on me and Yusuf.

" yeah mbak, we just eat first, kasian kia, maybe he's hungry this is also the time for lunch, already late in fact". Anisa agreed to kia's request.

" yes.. Kia hungry, this stomach kia not fat anymore ". Kia pointed at her stomach.

" who is his usual stomach segedut kia? ". Fariz spoke up.

" his stomach is om fariz ". Answer kia.

We laughed at her innocent behavior.

" heard, I'd say your stomach is distended riz, start dieting tomorrow deh ". Nisa said with a smile.

" when I get upset, you don't want to be my wife anymore? "

" hahaha could be ". Answer nisa again.

" already, let's hunt we're hungry ". I stopped the bride-to-be's fight.

" joke me mah, I'm still bucin with you ". Nisa ngegombalin.

I am so happy to see them always smiling.

It was so real how happy they were.

May their happiness continue to accompany their days.

***

" kia tired, can't yusuf bribe kia eat? ". Whine kia. Kia stared at the food in front of her, then she saw Yusuf hoping that Joseph would be willing to fulfill his request.

" kia's.. Can't do it donk, usually kia can also eat alone, or mother who bribe kia ya son ". I feel bad about kia's request.

Obviously I was afraid that Joseph felt uncomfortable with his attitude.

And I was afraid that we might become closer to Joseph.

" can donk ". Joseph smiled again at me and ignored my words.

" don't yusuf, let me eat alone, or let me just yuapin kia suf ". But Joseph without response.

" joseph, I'm sorry I took care of you ". Yusuf still ignored my words.

I really feel bad more.

With Joseph too often ignoring all my words, it made me feel like his attitude was very different towards me and us. Joseph was often indifferent to me, perhaps even more often he considered my presence invisible, as if I did not exist.

But towards kia, she is very gentle even always smiling, her attitude is full of love and attention, I know yusuf must feel sorry for kia who already does not feel the warmth and love of a father.

" no papa mbak, bang yusuf is so, his nature likes to change erratically, he will act according to his heart's wishes, he will not be able to pretend well, including equally kia".

Anisa's trying to make me understand the nature of her brother.

Fariz smiled at Nisa's words.

" already brother, do not have to take heart the talk of bang satria, later on the brother will also understand the bad nature of him who is cool support ". Hearing Fariz's words, Joseph turned his head without responding or replying to Fariz's words.

" you take care of your food, your food runs out, do not take care of me and kia ". Yusuf looked at me a little cynically, yahh I think a little cynical, but maybe that's normal for him.

I was just listening to Yusuf. I don't know why that sounded painful to me.

" bang... Can be a little soft not the same mbak fifah?, do not be too jutek same woman, what else is the same mbak fifah, later you fall in love new tau taste you bang ". Like her, Anisa was upset by the nature of Joseph just now, but again joseph was silent without responding to nisa's speech.

" hahaha.., don't hold bang ". Fariz laughs.

I don't know what Fariz said, only he and maybe Joseph understood, they had telepathy.

Why do I feel like crying?.

Why am I so baper with Yusuf's nature?.

My appetite is gone, my hunger is gone.

If he's always like this with women, it's worth it he hasn't been married until now. I was really upset and saddened by Yusuf's attitude just now.

" no papa nisa, no papa ". I tried to calm nisa down.

" to the toilet for a moment ". Continue me.

I left them at the dinner table.

I don't understand why I still like to cry?

What exactly makes my heart hurt?

Why do I feel annoyed by the attitude of Yusuf who does not care about me?

It is impossible for me to cry because of the words of an insignificant person like Joseph.

Maybe I was just sad to see that kia was thirsty for the attention of everyone, without exception the attention of Joseph.

Immediately I spilled all the meneyesakwdi taste on my chest, my tears without feeling flowing endlessly.

Oh allah...

What's with this heart?

After feeling a little relieved I went back to the place to eat. I saw kia still enjoying her meal while occasionally Yusuf gave her a drink.

' Pardon mother kia, because the impatience of mother makes kia have to lose the affection of a father.' my inner.

" why not eat anymore? ". Yusuf asked me after returning to sit with them, still with an unpleasant tone of speech in the ears.

I was still staring at the food in front of me but my appetite was completely gone.

" i'm not hungry anymore ". Answer me in a tone that is also quite cute in my opinion.

After finishing eating, Yusuf paid the bill, I fariz nisa and kia decided to head for the car first.

" he's tired? ". I saw kia who was starting to be reluctant to walk.

" is she tired, son? " fariz asked again.

Kia simply replied with a nod of her head.

" here's the fat mom ".

" let fariz alone brother, later brother difficult gendong kia ". Fariz squatted down first to carry the kia.

I tried to find out where Yusuf was left behind.

Yusuf was behind me.

Upon arrival at the door of the car I approached Fariz and wanted to bang kia.

" here's a big brother, you just bring a car ". Suddenly Joseph took over from Fariz's hand, fariz gave kia to Joseph.

" let me be the one carrying kia suf ". I feel bad to trouble Yusuf for his umpteenth time.

But just the same, Yusuf just looked at me then he entered the depth of the car and held kia kia to his chest while his 1 hand protected the head kia.

Apparently kia was asleep.

We also started to die out of the 5-story building.

" must be stuck in traffic again this ". I said to myself after seeing my watch showing at 4 p.m.

" usual kak hours like this jammed, his hours people go home office ". Connect nisa, please,

I don't think Nisa heard my complaint.

" just sleep if drowsy, can be long we on this trip ". Joseph said he looked back. I don't know who he ordered to sleep.

" if jammed gini can - can run out of prayer time asar ". I regret slowly.

" it's only 4 o'clock right?, no papa late a little later to pray, at least 1 hour we are on the road, can still pray at home ".

I sneered at the words of Joseph.

Unexpectedly I felt a little tired and sleepy, I opened my phone hoping to dispel my drowsiness.

I scroll through the Instagram page, what I want to see.

My heart trembled when I saw the photo of my ex-husband with the woman I knew so well.

the shadow of the night when the haikal mas said the thalak to me again filled the space of my conscious and sipped my chest.

I still can't be okay. I still feel sick and have a hard time accepting all that reality, even though I have tried with all my soul.

Come on, I'll turn off my phone, please,

I closed my eyes, trying to get the haikal and felli faces out of my mind.

I tried to hold back my tears.