Special Journey

Chapter 21

March, 2021.

It's not that easy to forget our story, I still fall in love with you in my imagination.

I know everything we've been through doesn't mean anything to you.

I know I'm nothing more than a dream in your past.

I know I've been lost in your love story series.

The rain this afternoon added a sense of sadness to the corner of my heart.

Like the sky knows my martyrdom.

Perhaps the world also felt this heart-piercing Pilu.

I am a branch that is willing to break in order to give place to other branches that will grow.

I am a willing heart to crumble for the sake of, seeing the smiley laughter on your lips.

I don't accept fate, I just need time to understand and accept the storyline God created for me.

One thing is certain.

I'll still be fine even if you've been treated unnaturally.

I'll be fine even if you leave him for the best reason.

May you not forget about the taste I once gave you completely, even if your reply made me have to leave.

I'm sorry I still fill this heart space with your name.

Sorry I still miss you so much in my prayers.

Give me a little more time to really let go of you.

I will start to step even if I fall and get limped, I will continue to fight.

I'll make sure someday, though,

your name won't make my heart shake again, nor will our memories make me cry again.

Thanks for the story that ever existed.

Believe me I will be fine and close the story, only I say once again, I just ask for a little time to recover from this pain.

***

Tok..

I closed the diary in my lap and carefully placed it on my bed.

" just a minute, "I walked up to my door to see who was knocking.

" sorry miss, at the lady's request to call the lady, miss Kia cried in the back garden ".

It turns out that the lady bu came and told me about kia.

" ohh, let's get mom down, why is she crying? ". Ask the lady.

" his word wants to go play to a place where non "answer bu siti.

" where kemaren? "i thought of remembering the place I meant.

" astagfirullah... ". I patted my eel.

" why not? ". Mom was shocked beside me.

" no papa ma'am, where are they? ". I'm looking into the whereabouts of mom and kia.

" there non ". Ms. Siti told me the place she meant.

" assalamualaikum mother, why? ". I sat in front of my mother and kia who whined spoiled in my arms.

" his word is he wants to play, to the playground yesterday, where is it? ". Ask mother.

" kia's.. Hmmm sorry mom, okay now we're ready, we go play ". I tried to persuade Kia.

But kia brushed my hand.

" where is fah? ". Mother asked again.

" actually the time to go shopping preparation delivery for fariz and nisa yesterday we went through a vehicle to play in the mall bun, kia want to play, but I do not give permission, I do not give permission, and promise to invite him next time, afiifah forget bun because he was busy with preparation for fariz delivery ". I explained to mom.

Yes, it has been 3 days since that promise, I have not kept my promise to kia, because it was too busy I forgot to promise to take kia to play.

We are all busy because the day of Fariz and Nisa's engagement is advanced 1 week from the time before her.

" just two? ". Ask Kia who is looking at me.

" hmmm yes, om fariz is busy tomorrow if we are not busy anymore, okay? ". Answer me.

" hmmm or want to go with grandma? ". Mother offered herself.

" but yesterday om yusuf has promised to invite kia to play seepuasnya ". He looked disappointed because Yusuf did not keep his promise, maybe Yusuf forgot because he was also busy with business at the cafe.

" but maybe om yusuf again busy dear, same mother and grandmother well, later also must be exciting ". I try to give understanding to Kia.

" can you call me Yusuf duku? Can ask first, kia want to play the same om yusuf bu ". Kia was still whining while pulling the end of my veil.

" let's call first ". Said the mother who also asked me to contact Yusuf.

Obviously I doubt, the chapter after our meeting yesterday I did not meet Yusuf again what else to talk to him.

It's rude to call him when I want to, even if this is your request.

" affirmation.. Come on, just call the yusuf, kasian kia ". Mother patted my shoulder.

" but bun, the bad afiifah must disturb yusuf, maybe he is still busy, besides afiifah no contact yusuf ". Obviously I'm with mom.

" mam siti.. Ma'am, ms. siti. "mother called mom siti.

" yes, madam ". Lady Siti came with half a run.

" please get my phone on the nightstand in the lower tv room ". Mother's orders on mom siti.

" good lady ".

" this is madam ". Bu siti gave the mother's phone that was asked for by the mother.

" you find Yusuf's contact on your phone, and you call him ". Mother gave her cell phone to me.

" but bun.. ". I still doubt.

" no papa, he won't be angry, mommy often calls him ".

" yes mother calls him the most lively in fariz bun, not to bother him, afiifah not good bun". I still refuse to call Yusuf.

" mother.. Call om yusuf, kia miss om yusuf, please mother ". Melt down my defenses if I've begged like this.

" huh, well, I'll call you ". Ahir I gave up.

Suddenly I saw her smiling at me.

'May joseph be busy and not be able to go ' I pray in my heart, I really feel uncomfortable if I have to go with joseph.

No wait how long my call is connected.

" assalamualaikum mother ". There was the voice of Joseph from across the street, and his voice was so soft, full of politeness.

" assalamualaikum mother ". Yuusf repeated his greeting again after waiting without an answer from me.

" hmmm waalaikumussalam, Yusuf, sorry this is my affiifah ". I stammered.

" oh, oh, what's wrong? ". Yusuf's voice was no longer as gentle as it had been.

" i'm sorry if I bother you, hmmm you're busy right now? ". I feel so tense talking to her.

" why?, you just say ".

" no papa anyway, hmmm later if you are not busy, once sorry yes already disturbed ". I immediately pressed the off button, without waiting for an answer from Yusuf.

Just then the smile disappeared.

' sorry son '. I feel guilty as well, the article I just do not know if Yusuf is really busy or not, I am just not comfortable with the response of Yusuf to me.

" yahh. , yes it's mom, tomorrow it's just kia playing it ".

Drettt...

Mother's phone vibrates.

I saw the name Yusuf calling.

" bun, this is Yusuf calling ". I gave the phone to my mother.

" just answer ". Mother's orders, but I refused and gave her cell phone to mother.

" assalamualaik... Son ". Mother answered the call of Joseph.

" ohh, yes, that's what I called ".

" it's actually kia want to invite yusuf to go play, but I don't know if yusuf is busy again ". I saw you enjoying your conversation with Yusuf.

" you said you were busy ". I don't know what they're talking about. I just kept quiet to see you talking on the phone.

" okay, I'll tell ya, max ya son, yeah.. Waalaikumussalam "blu ". They ended their conversation.

" you really are yes ". Mother pinched gently my shoulder.

I grinned, I can already guess why mother pinched me.

" affiifah bad bun should ngerepotin yusuf ". I defended myself.

" he's already on his way here, bring him ready for his word ". Mother left me and Kia.

" mother came too, right? ". I was a little screaming.

" no ". Answer me briefly.

" bun,ayo.. It's not good to walk alone with Yusuf, we're not mahrom bun ". I chased after mom while carrying kia.

" it's ad kia ".

" But I was a little bun. "my whine.

" so you follow them from behind do not need to be close to Yusuf if you are afraid " replied the mother.

" kia get ready with mom yes, later om yusuf pick up kia want to invite kia to play ". Mother rubbed kia's cheeks.

" yee cool ". Kia really looks happy.

Finally I relented, I headed for the room to change clothes as well as kia.

Kia began to restlessly wait for Yusuf who never came.

" mother, why did yusuf for so long ". Kia had her chin up in the living room.

" patient dear.. Soon om yusuf came, well it was probably om yusuf ".

I heard a car in front of the fence.

Kia immediately rushed over to see who was coming.

" right mom, that's yusuf ". Kia yelled at me.

I just smiled, how incomprehensible I would be with my feelings, if I knew what I was feeling right now.

" assalamualaikum, who is so beautiful his daughter om yusuf, sorry om yusuf ya because new promise to take me for a walk, this doll as a sign of apology oom ". Joseph paralleled his body with kia.

" thank you ". How troubled my heart is to see happiness. There is fear in my mind if one day Joseph also went away.

" bun we go first ". I said goodbye to my mother and was followed by Joseph.

" be careful ". Mother's message.

" why are you sitting there?, you think I'm a taxi driver, moving forward ".

Oh allah.. Nothing yet she's made me so uncomfortable.

Without saying a word, I moved forward.

Many times I have lost my breath.

" Yusuf, I'm really sorry for interrupting your time, I'm really sorry ". I confirmed my sitting position with a forward look.

" i'm sorry I really don't have time to bring kia to play ".

" if you can't, he really wants to understand, he'll understand if you're busy ". I glanced at Yusuf at a glance. Joseph seemed to be focusing on driving.

" no papa" is ". He glanced at me, I immediately threw my eyes away.

Seeing Yusuf smile at me made my nervousness slightly less.

What do I really think about him?

" may I ask you something? ". He looked back at me, and we saw each other unintentionally.

" please, I'll answer while I can or while I'm comfortable with your question ". I threw my eyes off her.

" it may be personal, but I think I should know, so you should answer my question ". He looked at me with a sharp look.

" when did you get divorced from your ex-husband? ". Continue her.

" ma haikal you mean? ".

" not haikal mas but your ex-husband ".

" yes.. My ex-husband is haikal ".

" i don't care about her name, I just want to know why you're divorced ". He looked back at me with a sharp look.

" why do you think you should know about my personal problems? ". I'm a little confused, ahh not a little. I was even very confused by the nature of Joseph.

" that's my personal problem, you don't need to know why I should know. "

'Yes god.. How strange Man created MU this one. ' said I in my heart.

" then I don't want to tell you my personal problems, or answer your questions ". I began to get annoyed with Yusuf's attitude.

" why? You still haven't been able to forget him? Your heart still hurts to say his name? Or is your heart still shaking at his name? ".

I was silent to Joseph's words.

Joseph was right, what is in this heart?

Did I really forget it or was I just pretending to forget it?.

" how about kia? ". Joseph asked again.

Joseph looked towards the man who was sitting in the back seat.

I could only see her without knowing what she had in mind about her father.

I hit my head on the headrest with mixed feelings.

" don't be afraid to tell a story, do you know what the source of the pain is? " Joseph saw me at a glance.

" that's hope, hope, and it's not fulfilled, so if you still hope he's back, learn to accept his departure". This time Joseph smiled a little at me.

To be honest, there is still a little hope that haikal mas back to me, it's okay if he doesn't love me anymore, it's enough for me.

" never ask him back in your prayers, do not be afraid.. Kia will definitely be happy, I'll take better care of her ex-father ".

The words of Joseph seemed to know my heart.

Somehow I feel that Joseph's words even become a whip for me, where maybe the haikal mas can be replaced by Joseph in the heart kia.

I know Joseph must be very sorry for us.