Not Him
53
The girl stomped her feet along the waterlogged road― remnants of the great rain earlier, causing her shoes to get wet splashing with water. His head lowered, staring at his feet that could not be silent wanting to kick something along the way home. It felt like he was running in the streets and screaming, blowing all the fatigue in him. But that's impossible, he'll be transported straight to a mental institution if he does something stupid like that.
The rain that had originally subsided now suddenly returned to flutter, slowly but surely began to fall more and more rapidly. People immediately look for a place to shelter, they do not want wetness. But another case with Hyunjin, the girl seemed to not care if her body would be wet with rain, she did not pay attention to it at all. Hyunjin continued walking, ignoring the speck of water that kept raining down on him. For a moment he wanted to think nothing. Too many things that make his heart hurt, even just to breathe air into the lungs it feels very difficult.
Rained out. It might be nice if he could dance in the rain. Crazy thinking, the girl only thought about something that might please her. He stopped and turned his face to the sky, closed his eyes, letting the raindrops touch the surface of his face.
Cold―
That's all he can feel now. He imagined the figure of the man, standing before him and smiling warmly. Grabbing her hand, then saying, “Live with me forever.”
I don't know why that stupid shadow could cross his mind. Hyunjin laughs―laughs to herself. What did Cho Kyuhyun do to make him like this? Why can't he forget that guy? Hyunjin instead of not trying, he had even tried too hard to get Kyuhyun out of his head. But every time he wanted to forget it, that figure was getting harder to get rid of. It was like he was dependent on that man.
(Get out of my mind! I don't want to remember you anymore.)
Hyunjin always suggested herself, but still her fucking brain could never erase Kyuhyun's shadow from her memory. That's too hard. He can't―though he wants to.
“How old are you? Look, you're like a houseboy who as a kid never played rain.”
Hyunjin opened her eyes when she heard that heavy voice.
Her voice choked. Dia―
*
*
Kyuhyun left the cafe after finishing his needs there. He was prevented from leaving by Jongwoon who kept asking. But Kyuhyun just smiled and said, “Nothing happened.” Bitter smile. Jongwoon knew Kyuhyun was trying hard to hide it.
Kyuhyun walked on the sidewalk, passing the crowded shops that lined the street. He wants to go home on foot, maybe stop by a store to buy a small meal. But the rain suddenly flushed, Kyuhyun immediately ran to the terrace of a nearby store to find shelter. People along the way also started running, looking for shelter just like him.
Kyuhyun brushed his hands against his slightly wet hoodie. He then put his hand in his pocket, hoping to feel a little warm that way. The rain that fell heavily since this morning had stopped for a while, but the sky was still cloudy. So Kyuhyun no wonder if the rain suddenly fell like this. If Kyuhyun was a housewife, maybe he would be nagging all day because his clothesline could not dry. Can't the day get any brighter soon?
“See the girl! Once he was, playing rain like a child.” Kyuhyun heard the conversation of two schoolchildren who were also in the shade of― who was standing next to him.
“Mana? Where?” the other friend twirled his head around looking for what his friend meant. Kyuhyun was also curious, as he moved his head silently.
“That, that's there.” one of the schoolchildren pointed with his finger. Kyuhyun watched. In his heart he laughed at her. What kind of girl plays water on the streets like that? Did you ever play rain when you were a kid? It's so sorry for him.
Suddenly Kyuhyun's feet moved without his brain's command, walking closer towards the rain girl's―the girl he had longed for so much.
*
*
“How old are you? Look, you're like a home child who as a child never played rain.” right in front of the girl he said. Kyuhyun cursed himself, out of the many beautiful sentences to greet him, why even such words were spoken?
The girl opened her eyes, blinked. Then the pair of eyeballs were perfectly rounded, looking surprised at Kyuhyun. Staring at him as if Kyuhyun was a see-through ghost that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
Hyunjin shook her head, doubting her own consciousness.
How did he show up here? I must be crazy. It's not real!
Hyunjin stepped back, widening the distance between herself and the man. Along with that Kyuhyun came forward, not wanting the girl to stay away from him.
Hyunjin retreated again, this time instantly turning around and stepping even faster. Over time he got faster, and finally ran. Kyuhyun chased after her, not wanting to take her off. Hyunjin once told her to ignore him if they met someday. But, hey! Was Kyuhyun as sad as that to comply with Hyunjin's request? He misses her, misses her a lot. There's no way I can just take it off.
“Stop!” Kyuhyun shouted loudly, trying to keep his voice heard under the roar of rain. “Choi Hyunjin, stop saying!”
Hyunjin heard it, but she was too afraid to turn around and look at the man. It is better to run and avoid. Run as far as possible.
Hyunjin ran to the bus stop, people were waiting for the arrival of the bus. He stands between them, making sure he is hidden from Kyuhyun's current surveillance. But Kyuhyun could still see it.
Just as the bus came, several people began to rush into the vehicle, as well as the girl. Kyuhyun ran as fast as he could, not wanting to be left behind by the bus and lose the girl again. His efforts were not in vain, Kyuhyun managed to enter a few seconds before the bus was back on the move.
The man spread his gaze around, looking for Hyunjin among the passengers. But he didn't find it, the girl wasn't anywhere. Kyuhyun turned around, then looked through the glass of the bus at the back. He's riveted. The girl was there―still at the bus― stopand was standing staring at the bus that was speeding away from her. The girl must have gone down immediately when Kyuhyun went up earlier.
Kyuhyun clenched his hands tightly.
(Smart once, trying to play hide and seek with me?)
He lost again. Was there nothing else he could do to bring the girl back to his side? Before it's too late, before everything goes to waste.
***
