Not Him

47

*(Don't say goodbye, if it'll never make me see you again.

You may say you don't love me, but I know it's a lie.)*

Everything came back to the way it was. His life would be fine, and he could breathe the air freely without anything disturbing in the slightest. That was what Hyunjin had in mind when deciding that they should part ways. Breaking his love bond with Kyuhyun that has been so closely intertwined.

But it was all far from his shadow. His life is actually getting more chaotic. Anxiety approached him almost every time, leading him to a constant sense of regret that gnawed at his heart. He was too late in his story with Kyuhyun, until in the end they had reached the final point of― causing reluctance to let go of each other so strongly.

Now the girl realized, something was missing when Kyuhyun no longer accompanied her. There was a tempestuous longing, creating an uneasy feeling in his heart. But on the other hand he was also aware, all of it was a consequence of his decision. Yes, a decision he had thought about over and over again. He could not regret it, it was a fate he chose himself. After all regret it feels too late, he can not get out of the fire he sprinkled himself.

“Do you get sick?”

The voice instantly made Hyunjin look up at the person sitting in front of her. He shook his head briefly in response.

“What food is not good?” Siwon asked again, aware that his little sister had barely eaten a bite. Since then, he has only been playing food on his plate.

“This is great. I don't need to doubt your cooking skills, do I?” Hyunjin said then, forcing a smile on her lips. She did not want to make her brother grow anxious about her, it was enough all the problems about their parents that made Siwon dizzy. He did not want to add to the burden of his older brother anymore.

Hyunjin reluctantly put food in her mouth. It felt bland―not because Siwon forgot to give salt or anything, but it was Hyunjin's tongue that seemed to be unable to feel anything.

“How is the case progress Appa?” the girl asked after painstakingly managing to swallow food into her throat.

Siwon was silent for a moment, looking like he was thinking. Before long he shook his head weakly, Hyunjin knew it was not a good sign.

“All evidence incriminating Appa. Then, another suspect continued to make statements that led to Appa being the brains of embezzlement funds in the company.”

“I won't believe it. Our father is not that kind of person. He would rather starve to death than have to take yag not his right.” Hyunjin said then, sounding very sure.

Siwon nodded in agreement with his sister's words. “You're right. For that I will work hard so that the truth can be revealed.”

“Oppa, let me take care of Eomma in the hospital tonight. Tomorrow's Sunday, and I don't have college.”

“It's really okay?”

“Yes, I feel sorry for you and Minho. You also have to take care of your health.”

___

“You've decided, son?” the man asked with the full dignity of a father. Looking expectantly at his first son, the son who will bring him to realize his dreams and hopes.

Namja it just went silent. It felt lazy to answer that question, too risky for him. For years they didn't have dinner at the same table like this. Why discuss this when they just got together? Is that all his father wants to know? Didn't that guy even want to know how he's been doing all this time?

“Cho Kyuhyun?” the man called his name, impatient as his son just kept quiet without any intention of answering. This thing that is being discussed will determine the future of the crowd, they should not mess around.

Short, unclear. I don't know what the meaning of the sentence “ is anonymous it's. Agreed then? Or the opposite?

Cho Taewoo needed a few seconds to digest Kyuhyun's words. In the end the man nodded in satisfaction, unable to hide the smile of excitement from his face. “You have made the right decision. You can always make an anonymous proud.”

Cho Kyuhyun was still silent, still enjoying his meal which somehow felt like a hard rock to swallow. He no longer cared what his father would do. The only reason that keeps him stubborn―against his father―kini has disappeared. He has nothing to keep him in that position. Now he could only go where the current would take him away.

“I'm done.” Kyuhyun got up from his seat, about to get out of the dining room which only attended three family members―including himself―itu. Him, his father and his sister.

Before his feet swung any further, his father's voice had already caught his attention. “Prepare yourself for tomorrow. We'll meet with Jung's family to discuss your marriage and Yeoram.”

Fuck all that! Kyuhyun no longer heard his father's voice after that, he had already stepped away from the room. A wedding? Tsk.. does he not have the right to decide his own life? Right now he is like a robot that only obeys the operator who controls him. He has no power over his life. His life, was not the life he wanted.

___

“Minho-ya, wake up.” Hyunjin whispered softly as she patted her sleeping sister's cheek on her mother's nursery couch. Namja insisted that he did not want to leave his mother all day this―ia even did not enter school since yesterday.

“Ngg.. Noona. What's up?” Minho woke up and squirmed his body. “Why are you here? It's already night.”

“You just go home. Let me take care of Eomma.”

“I don't want to!” Minho. Hyunjin glared, staring firmly at the seventeen-year-old sister who was taller than him.

“Sana go home! You've been in the hospital two days. Don't you miss your soft mattress at home?”

“I want to be with Eomma. Noona is home.”

“Aishh.. This brat is stubborn once.” Hyunjin growled in annoyance. Minho was used to being close to their mother, he could not get far from the woman. “Hurry home! Siwon Oppa is waiting for you outside.” Hyunjin pulled Minho's body which was still limp because he had just woken up. But he had no more strength to resist, he was really still sleepy.

“Come on. Don't make us worry about you. You can also get sick if you keep this up.”

Minho finally gave up, after all hearing Hyunjin's voice sounding miserable like that, he became heartless. “Arasseo, I'll be home. Don't pull my hand.”

“Smart Child, there out!” Hyunjin gestured with her hand pointing towards the door. Minho grabbed his jacket then walked out, closing the door slowly.

Hyunjin smiled with relief as Minho disappeared from behind the closed door. He turned to the bed, looking at his mother who was lying in her sleep. The girl walked over, then sat down on the chair beside the bed.

His mother's eyes were closed, looking peaceful in her sleep. The breathing apparatus attached to the woman's body makes Hyunjin can only moan in her mind. He thought, if he could, he would take his mother's place at this time. He doesn't mind. Why should his parents be given this much ordeal? If there's no Siwon and Minho, he doesn't know how to behave. He cannot go through all this alone.

“Eom.. If you're not sick, I want to tell you a lot. I've been through a lot while you're lying here. I don't know what to do without Eomma and Appa.” A little squash came out of her lips, but as much as possible Hyunjin tried not to make her mother wake up. His mother is still weak, to speak is still a little difficult. Severe heart disease that has made Hyunjin can no longer hear the chattering voice of his mother when angry. He misses his mother's nagging every time he makes a mistake―ia misses his mother a lot.