Not Him

32

When I got outside, Hyunjin's tears just fell. He didn't care if people looked at him with astonished eyes. He doesn't care. All he wanted right now was to disappear to a distance. He hates Kyuhyun, really hates that name.

“you're stupid, Choi Hyunji. Why are you still expecting it? He was just playing you. How could Kyuhyun like you? Just dream you.” Hyunjin walked over while continuing to wipe away the tears that were unceasingly flowing. He regretted his stupidity again. Loving someone who has absolutely no feelings for him, is really painful.

“forgive me.” Hyunjin was surprised instead of playing, suddenly someone pulled him from behind, turned his body, and immediately grabbed him tightly.

Hyunjin looked up, and he did not expect the presence of that person at all.

“D.. Donghae?” he said with a trembling voice. Donghae did not let go of his embrace, still holding the girl as if afraid she would disappear if she let go. He didn't want to lose the girl again this time.

“forgive me, it's all because of me.”

Hyunjin said nothing more, crying on Donghae's shoulder until his clothes were wet with tears. Why is he so stupid? there was Donghae waiting for him, why was he still expecting Kyuhyun who was completely indifferent to his presence?

“cry if it can make you calmer. I'll lend you my shoulder whenever you need.” Donghae calmed him down, slowly he took off his arms from the girl.

“You want to go somewhere to calm down?” ask Donghae again. Hyunjin just nodded, maybe he should calm himself down first for now.

“all right, how about we go to Han river?” donghae asked for a suggestion, but before Hyunjin answered, she had already pulled the girl's hand towards her car.

Kyuhyun gnashed his jaw firmly, his heart ached looking in the distance Donghae was hugging Hyunjin. He should have known this was going to happen. Why did he run after Hyunjin when he finally saw such a scene?

Kyuhyun passed from where he was standing, along with Donghae's car which sped away. What is this feeling? why does his heart feel so stifling? Like something stuck in there.

He realized, his words were really very outrageous. He only thought about himself, not thinking at all about the girl's feelings. Think of it like an unimportant game. But it just came out of his lips. He wanted to do anything to keep Hyunjin away from the other namja. But of course, he had no right to it over Donghae. He is nothing to Hyunjin, unlike Donghae.

___

“so, how is your relationship with Kyuhyun?” donghae asked as he was alone with Hyunjin to see the beautiful Han river view at night. Hyunjin sat on a chair by the river, while Donghae stood facing the river.

Hyunjin turned her head, feeling shocked by Donghae's stark question just now. “how is the relationship?”

“what are you guys fighting?”

Hyunjin just shook her head. They did not fight, maybe he was too exaggerated to respond to the joke Kyuhyun – which he thought was a serious thing-it.

“you're in a relationship with him right?” ask Donghae again. The girl wasn't deswab. Aware of Hyunjin's face getting confused, Donghae finally issued a sentence that he really did not want to say. “what are you dating him?”

Hyunjin flinched, but a second later she immediately shook her head weakly. A smile on Donghae's lips. Apparently so, Hyunjin and Kyuhyun had never been in a relationship like what he thought. So, doesn't that mean the opportunity for him is still wide open? He could win the girl's heart once more.

“Hyunjin-ah.” Donghae approached and now he was sitting next to the girl. “again I said, I love you. Will you be my yeojaching?”

Degs..

Hyunjin was shocked, feeling very surprised by what Donghae said just now.Namja had indeed previously said he liked it, but had not asked him directly like this.

“But-“

“No need to answer now, I am willing to wait until your heart is fully open for me.” Donghae clasped Hyunjin's hand and placed it on his chest. “I'm sincere, you don't need to doubt me.”

“forgive me, Donghae-sshi. I'm too mean to you.” Hyunjin really felt guilty towards Donghae. It was cruel to ignore Donghae.

“no, you're not evil. I understand your feelings. And another one, didn't I tell you to call me ‘oppa’? did you forget.” Donghae chuckled as he gently ruffled Hyunjin's hair. Hyunjin nodded, slowly forming a smile. Every time he was near Donghae, he always felt calm. Even long before, just by looking at her face, Hyunjin could feel the peace in her heart. Can he start loving that name again? I don't know.

“ alright, it looks like we have to go home now.” Donghae said while waiting for Hyunjin's approval. Upon seeing the head nod of the girl, he stood up and stretched out his fingers with a smile. “Come.”

___

Hyunjin who was eating then turned her head, linking her two eyebrows confused. Is something wrong? he felt very hungry today because yesterday he did not eat anything that could be filling. He was too busy thinking about his love problems to the point that he did not have time to just eat.

Why did Jiyoo see it until like that? though he only ate three bowls of noodles - and in fact it was still lacking, he was still very hungry. But a second later Hyunjin was stunned to realize something, “I have eaten this much huh?”

“who else is eating? you think these bowls are mine?” sindir Jiyoo fierce. But he's pretty happy about this. In the past few days he had always seen Hyunjin as if she had no spirit to live with, but seeing her appetite like for days without eating like this at least the girl was no longer frustrated thinking about her silly love story.

“You've asked for certainty from him?” Jiyoo looked at Hyunjin curiously. Hyunjin paused for a moment, then tried to swallow the food that somehow suddenly got stuck in her throat. Why should Jiyoo question that? this made him think again of Kyuhyun. It was hard for him to try to get the name out of his mind, now the shadow of Kyuhyun's face is back again.

“who?” ask Hyunjin pretending not to know. He knew exactly who Jiyoo meant.

“namja it. err.. Kyuhyun?” Jiyoo said while trying to remember her name. He wanted to call it ‘namja angel’ but was afraid that Hyunjin would swallow it right then and there.

“ia told me herself to forget about it. Maybe he didn't say it seriously at the time. So what do I think?” Hyunjin flicked her shoulders lightly. The expression on his face he made was as calm as possible, hiding the pain that suddenly came again hitting his chest.

“really?” jiyoo asked in surprise. Isn't that what's been frustrating for Hyunjin lately? why is he acting so calm now?

“and now, maybe I'll try to think of a serious relationship with Donghae oppa.”

Jiyoo was again surprised, “how could it be? He said you rejected him. And. since when did you call him ‘oppa’?”

“hei, your expression doesn't need to be that shady either, right? is something wrong? he loves me, and vice versa. I guess we're already a match now.” Hyunjin sipped the juice in her glass. He just wanted to laugh when he saw Jiyoo's stupid face.

“you love her? Don't you like him no more?” jiyoo asked in disbelief.

Hyunjin was again stunned, Jiyo's question just really pierced. “I could try to love her once again.”

Jiyoo snorted, dissatisfied with Hyunjin's answer earlier. “I am confused by your relationship. Strange people!”

“ya! aren't you and your namjaching weird? Then where is he now? I haven't seen him in a long time.” Hyunjin tried to divert the conversation. It hurts too much - even just to say Kyuhyun's name - to talk about it.

“ngg? Heechul oppa is busy at the moment. He will soon graduate.”

“oh yes?” Hyunjin looks enthusiastic to hear it, it has been a few weeks he did not see Heechul.

“true. She'll be a vet soon, and propose to me, then we get married and have kids, live happily ever after.”

“why did your mind get that far? do you want to get married?”

“if he proposed to me, of course I will immediately accept.” Jiyoo said while sparkling.

Hyunjin glared in disgust, the cat-loving duo got married? Ah, maybe they will soon adopt a cat to be their children. “cih, just keep imagining. In not even really going to pass right?”

“ya! I'm sure he'll make it.”

Hyunjin put down her bowl, she already feels full now. “well, I think it's time to go to cafe.” He grabbed his bag and prepared to stand up.

“you still work there?” jiyoo asked in disbelief. Does Hyunjin still have the guts to meet that namja? a girl who can't be guessed.

“only two days. After that maybe I won't see her again forever.” Hyunjin smiled and walked out of the cafeteria.

Right, just two days left, and say goodbye to Cho Kyuhyun.

___