Not Him
19
Donghae drove me back to the cafe. I only asked for permission to leave for two hours, so there was still time to work.
Just now I was about to open the car door when suddenly he held my hand. “is it alright for you to come down here? I can get you to the front of cafe.”
I asked him to drop me a little further from the cafe, I didn't want people to think anything of it later. Someone might think I'm flirting with the cafe owner's granddaughter.
“no need, I'm down here.” I gently brushed off his hand and opened the door, then got out of his car.
“you didn't say thank you?”
“for what?” many confused. Shouldn't he be the one to thank me for shopping?
“already, forget it. Then I go first.” I nodded, and the car immediately shot away.
_
I got inside the cafe, I saw Kyuhyun was busy serving customers.
I changed clothes and helped him. But as much as I could somewhat keep my distance from her, I was still a little scared by her angry expression this afternoon. Maybe he's still angry at me now.
Suddenly our eyes met, Kyuhyun immediately turned his gaze away from me. I don't understand what's wrong with her attitude, she didn't nag at all because I went with Donghae earlier. Usually he is very chatty and likes to scold me with the slightest mistake.
He walked about to come up to me –-it looks like-, but then came to a halt because a customer called him to order. He went straight to the customer and recorded what he asked for. I'm a little disappointed because of that, I thought he'd ask me to talk.
All afternoon we were just like this, there was no fighting or fighting as usual. She was quiet, I didn't know why but my feelings were strange. I miss that nagging.
Ah, what am I thinking?
Even when he passed by, he was silent, not caring for me at all even though I had smiled at him. I felt he was purposely avoiding me. Butwhy? That's what confuses me.
_
When I got home from work, I waited for Kyuhyun. I actually hesitated a little, given Kyuhyun's attitude. Will he still ignore me?
After a long wait Kyuhyun finally appeared as well. He then locked the door of the cafe. He just walked away without caring about me. Realizing that, I immediately chased after him.
I walked around trying to align my steps with her. But again, he was silent. Along the way he did not look at me at all, making me feel awkward. But I can't stand this situation.
“Kyu, are you mad at me?” manyu timid.
“no. Why should I be angry?” he spoke without looking at me, looking straight ahead. But I'm a little relieved that he still wants to answer my question.
“even though I don't know what my mistake was, I'm sorry. Don't ignore me like this keep.”
Her steps stopped, then turned to face me. “you don't have to apologize. I was the one who was wrong to yell at you this afternoon. I shouldn't have acted like that.” he's back on his feet.
I can only be silent.
“but don't leave me like this!” I suddenly snapped at him loudly, Kyuhyun who had walked in front of me immediately looked back. I don't understand why, but I miss his usual attitude. If he stays like this, I feel sad.
“if you're mad at me you can say it, don't let me down.” My voice trembled, and it seemed like my tears were already urgently wanting to come out. It hurts to be treated like this by him. I don't know why, but it's like losing one of the most important parts of my life.
“you think I want it like this?” he said without looking at me, turning his gaze in another direction. “I also do not like this situation.”
“then why do you keep acting like that?”
“Is it true that you will be engaged to Lee Donghae?” tanyanya ignored my question.
“who said it?” I round my eyes in disbelief. How did he know?
“everyone even knows about this.” said Kyuhyun again. I came back surprised. How did it get so fast as it spread? I haven't even told my parents about it.
“do you love him too?”
“who?” I pretend I don't understand, even though I know exactly who he means.
“Lee Donghae's. Who else is it?” said angry.
“nothing.” I stopped my laughter. There's really nothing funny, but maybe I'm just too happy because he doesn't seem to be really mad at me anymore.
“you go home, it's night.” Soft words.
“you don't want to accompany me waiting for the bus?” I looked at him expectantly. It actually sounds more like a request, not a question.
“does it have to?”
“I'll keep forcing you if you don't want to.”
“sorry, but I want to get home soon. I'm so tired now. You better wait for the bus alone.” Kyuhyun simply passed by, unwilling to hear any protests from me. He ignored me again. I can't do anything. If he doesn't want me, I can't force him. I hope tomorrow he's not mad at me anymore, I miss his scolding.
_
Arriving home, I was so surprised that oemma was waiting for me at the door. Was he waiting to welcome my return? Huh, not usually.
“Hyunjin-ah, how was your college assignment? Is smooth?” ask as soon as I close the door. I just nodded, I did tell my parents during this week I would be very busy with my college assignments and work on it at Jiyoo's house until night. That's the reason I gave for covering up that I work in a cafe.
“Is there nothing you should have told us?” ask oemma again still following me who has arrived in the kitchen.
I opened the fridge and took out a bottle of drinking water, then poured it into a glass. “I don't think there is.” I answered and then sipped the glass. I'm getting a little nervous, lest oemma know about my job at the cafe.
“really?” oemma looked at me sharply, as if she could not believe what I said.
“right oemma, what should I cover?” as much as possible I tried to convince him. I sip more water to get rid of my nervousness. I've lied to him a lot.
“then why did Mrs Lee tell you that next week is your engagement day with Donghae?”
BRUSSH..
With the success of the water that was still in my mouth sprayed out. “ WHAT DOES THAT MEAN BY NEXT WEEK?” pekiku hysterical. It turns out Donghae's grandfather didn't playfully want me to get engaged to his grandson soon. Will he force us to get married? Oh God..
“why are you surprised so? Didn't you know about this before?” oemma looked at me full of probes.
“kakek Donghae did ask us to get engaged, and we both agreed. But I didn't expect them to decide so soon.”
“right, you didn't tell us you guys agreed. Why are you hiding this happy news? oemma thought Donghae would absolutely refuse to be betrothed to you.”
“sorry, I forgot.” I tried to leave. “but did they not talk about it first with oemma and appa?”
“they invite us to dinner tomorrow to talk about it. Donghae didn't tell you?”
“ia didn't say anything about this.” that damn Donghae, why not tell me? Hah.they just decide something.
“is your relationship so close that you want to get engaged?” oemma again urged me. He looks like he's interrogating me right now.
“we haven't known oemma for long. After all this is just-“ I immediately fell silent thinking about what sentence I should get out. How can I explain it to him?
“just what?” tanyanya. But I can't tell oemma if it's just pretend. No, I can't tell anyone. Donghae can kill me later.
“only for formalities. Shouldn't there be a bond in a relationship?”
“since when can this spoiled oemma boy speak such wise?” he doesn't believe.
“already, I'm tired. I want to sleep.” I immediately went to my room. Oemma was still following me from behind and asking questions. But I don't care at all.
“I'm tired oemma, please let me rest.” I'll close my room door soon.
I'm tired of all this. Over time everything becomes complicated. Shouldn't I be happy to be engaged to Donghae? but why would my little heart say something else? there's another side of me that wants to rebel against all of this. It's not that I hate Donghae because of his attitude towards me these days. But there was something else that made me worry.
Kyuhyun's..
What's wrong with me? Why was that even thought of? Ah, I'm really tired. I was confused by my own feelings.
“But what about Kyuhyun? what is he doing now?” I looked at Kyuhyun's winter coat still hanging on the clothes hanger on the wall of my room. Why am I even thinking about it? I think my brain is completely gone.
