Like Drama's

#Fourty three

It's not in my shadow at all. Even I still can't believe it. Why did all this happen in the blink of an eye? Losing both parents I loved so much in just a short distance. Is this a game of fate?

It's too bad.

My heart has not even recovered from the pain of losing papa a month ago. And now, in fact, my mother has also left me. Is this a joke?

Why did they leave so fast?

Wh why?

Didn't we still talk like usual last night? I who had told the story of my previous life in the Maheswara family to my mother, and it was as if it was a feeling. pressed for me to immediately tell a story. My mother will no longer listen to my story.

Earlier in the morning, at breakfast we still had a joke when mama was wrong to pour the floor cleaner with dishwashing liquid. Mama's laugh long enough when she realized her boredom even made me unable to feel that the current mama is gone. Went forever.

Seriously?

Mama is gone?

Did ya?

Not likely.

Before going out to take that taxi for shopping, my mom even called me to ask me what I wanted for our dinner later. Or maybe, maybe I want to drop something at the supermarket that he's going to show. It hasn't even counted many hours.

Then mama .. never came back again. And dinner later .. I'm alone.

As at the departure of papa at that time, this time I was not able to cry much for some reason. Just a few drops of tears could just flow down my cheek.

This suffering is too deep. It was as if it had enveloped my life until the world ended. And this grief is too much for me to gulp alone.

It's hurting my heart too much.

I'm alone, God.

I was alone in enjoying the many sorrows that were going on. I don't know what it's like to cry anymore.

It was as if all the pain was created just for me.

Forgive me, Lord. I can't stand it.

...- -...

After coming home from my mother's funeral, I locked myself in my room. Yes, my house that feels lonely to infiltrate the sanitary ware. The house that every corner of it will only be a silent witness where the people who were destined to raise me are now gone.

No one wanted me to do anything that day. I just wanted to close my eyes and lie down on my bed. I can't sleep right now. Just closing the eyes that can't shed a lot of tears. Wh why?

Where did my tears go?

Outside the room, still in my house, I knew Ami and other friends who worked in the restaurant, even my boss was still sitting talking to others. Also some of the people I know are neighbors around, who are still crowded in my house. At least there are those who accompany us. Although some Japanese people are not my close friends, they already consider me part of the family restaurant where we work.

Instantly I felt a deep longing for Alya and Radit. I miss them. I want to complain about all my pain. I want to tell you all the tears that are currently hiding. To those who are friends, whom I consider to be brothers.

But ... There is still one more longing.

A longing that is as strong as I can deny. Because I'll never let a mistake happen again.

Yep, yeah,

I miss him.

I want him–

No, not him.

I just want to be around the people I love. And my family is just Alya and Radit. Yeah, that's right.

I don't have any family anymore. When I was a kid, I remembered that I had a cousin. But over time, I don't know why I never heard it again. I don't know where they are.

Now I'm alone. I'm not ready to lose and be alone. Am I just dead, God? Take me with my parents? The world is too big for me alone.

Alya and Radit haven't told you about this. Even since papa's death, I chatted with them through chat as if everything was fine. Later when I return to my country then I intend to tell everything. Now, let me endure this myself. I'm not ready to share the grief that I don't even know how much it fills my heart.

tok tok

My bedroom door was knocked. After that I knew that it was Ami who approached me.

"Ra .. we eat yuk,"

I know, Ami also knew that his efforts to invite me to eat were futile. Nobody wants me to move, let alone put something in my mouth. Not at all.

I shook my head slowly.

"Yes .. to my house yuk," he asked again. "Surely, you will not be alone in my place. There's my sister's family."

"Thank you, Mi. But I'm on my own."

Ami looked at me for a while. Then he nodded. "Yes, I understand. I'm the same other one still in your living room. If you need me, call me."

I nodded weakly.

...🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼...