Like Drama's

Thirty Nine's

Jjapanese.

I stroked the back of the lying hand of the father. Just a moment ago when I got to the hospital, papa had just fallen asleep. Mama said, Dad was waiting for me impatiently.

Ah ... My poor father ...

One tear of my eye melted again. Ever since I saw papa's state, it felt as if tears would never subside from my eyes. I also shed all my frustration over my problems with Reiki along with my concern for papa's health.

Mom told me that papa would be fine. Mama didn't want to tell me how far papa's disease was, or what stage it was. Even though I begged, she insisted and I knew that if I forced her further it would make her even sadder.

This really surprised me. Hasn't Papa been healthy all this time? And a few times my mom told me that papa was sick but it was just a mild pain. Not as it is now in reality.

I know my mom is trying harder than me. Although it is really here that the mother is the most grieved over what happened to papa. I also don't want to add to my mother's grief. So if I had originally intended to tell you about my problem, now it's all gone. Let me feel for myself my problems, without me wanting to add the burden of heart to my mother.

However, still our sadness over papa's disease can not be covered.

"Back, honey. You just arrived. Rest up! It's already night." Mama patted my back gently.

I shook weakly. "I'll wait for Papa to wake up. I miss talking to Papa, Ma."

Mama grabbed my head into her arms. "Don't cry, Ra. Papa will definitely heal."

I'm nodding. "Yes, Ma. Sure. Papa must be cured."

"Go home, to our house that's here. You've never seen our house here? Papa Mama has prepared a nice room for you, Ra. You must like it."

"But Papa–"

"Tomorrow morning you're here again. Believe in Mama, that Papa will be healthier tomorrow when he meets you. And you'll have a good chat."

I thought for a second. Honestly, my physical and mental health are very tired. But my desire to be eye-to-eye with papa was great.

"Can't I sleep here with Mama? With y'all?"

"Ra .. You should rest well at home. Tomorrow morning after your body is much fresher, whatever you want. According to dong, honey," mama pinched my gnarled cheek.

And I finally gave up.

...---...

"I'm home" I told myself when I got to the address you gave me. This is the house where my parents are. Finally after a long time we were apart, I again felt his name coming home. Yes, now we can gather again. Although, things aren't that perfect.

After I cleaned myself up, I ate the food you bought me before leaving the hospital. There is Japanese food there. In addition, there is also Indonesian food that my mother bought for me. Although without interest, I tried to eat it as well. Just to fill my empty stomach tonight.

Going back to my room as soon as my dinner I managed to spend my hard time. I restarted my phone that I had accidentally switched off since I arrived at the hospital. I don't know why, I don't want anyone to call me right now. Especially it was from him.

But apparently there is absolutely no name on my phone notification list. There was only a group chat, some missed messages and calls from Alya and Radit, as well as some other friends I was in need of.

My heart seemed to melt. Apparently, he was able to accept my decision.

I just sat down and took the knife off. My heart ached for a million reasons, so I could only sob in silence. But it wasn't long, with all my might I immediately got up and started running out of the room. I could not see the look on the grandma's face that was still in her place. My mind was free then. Yes, I want to be free from the heavy drama that hit my life.

Remembering that made my tears flow again. I'm heartbroken. My heart hurts so much. He made me fall in love. A love that will never be real. And now .. everything is over. Cinderella is back when her time is up. Her happiness is over and it's time to wake up from a dream.

...---...

"Hey, Papa's most beautiful girl. Don't cry, honey," Papa wiped the tears that melted down my cheek.

Those eyes .which a few months ago I saw were still shining and fresh, now seemed to lose their color and spirit. Seemed pale and tired of holding what he was feeling. My most beloved father. The only knight in my life. Now he lay weak in the face of his illness.

"Why didn't Papa tell me?"

Papa smiled weakly. "It's nothing, honey. Cancer is not a big deal. Papa's still strong,"

I was only able to hug papa while holding my sobs so as not to get bigger. I felt another hand rubbing my head. Mom's hand.

"Why haven't you guys just invited me in the first place? I don't care about my lecture, as long as I can be with you wherever you are, that's more than enough" I said grievously.

Silent. Just the gentle hand I felt on my back. Also the gentle rubbing of mama on my head has not stopped.

"It can't be, Ra. Education is everything. When you have the provision to wade through the rigors of life, then that's when you are free to go wherever you want."

"But I want to be with you guys .." I'm not restrained anymore. "I just need you guys in my life ...."

Cry broke. Both my parents fell silent, letting me cry as much as I could, until I was tired of myself.

"Ra ..." said papa.

I'm still in his arms.

"... Be a beautiful and good boy. Papa tipped your mama to take good care of ya. Papa is sincere about everything that happens in papa's life. Azzura darling ... Papa loves you very much, son."

What-apan papa? As if I was giving you a final message. No. gabe. I won't let it. Papa will live on even until later I can give him many grandchildren. To keep our lives crowded and warm.

"What's the fuck you talking about?" I let go of Papa's embrace. "Not just me, but papa too. We are! We will take care of Mom. We'll live on to take care of each other."

I heard my mother crying in her place. Oh I don't want to cry either. No. gabe. I have high hopes for tomorrow and later. About the three of us. About what happiness is coming to us.

Papa smiled weakly. "Azzura darling .. be happy .. pursue your happiness, son," then papa turned to look at mama. "Ma .. give it all, whatever Azzura wants. Give it all,"

Mama nodded while crying. His hand grabbed papa's palm.

Why like this? Why does my condition look so bad? Didn't the pain come too long? Or is it all purposely hidden from me?

...🌑🌑🌑...