Just a Bond

Baffled

"Hadeh. Not realizing what, he had not even invited me to sit."

Astarghfirullah's. Now I realize the purpose of Najwa's words. I immediately patted my forehead, condemning my stupidity.

"California"

"What kind of husband is that?" cut off Najwa but I can still hear it clearly. "Thankfully I'm not spoiled. I wasn't told to sit." He stepped slowly past me who was still staring towards a seat that was more worthy of being said to be a place to sleep in the park. I don't know what his name is in Indonesian. It was a bed but made of bamboo. If in Madura his name is crooked.

The woman then sat there while fluttering while rubbing her face with the tip of her veil. Oh my God, it looks really exhausted. Can I forget to pay attention to him?

Without saying much, I moved to approach him, and he immediately turned his head with a look of caution towards me, as if I were an enemy who could harm him for a moment.

It's ironic in your life, Han. Now you must accept the unpleasant gaze of your own wife.

"Ngapain's still here?" His voice is completely different now.

"We're not done talking, Najwa."

He's whining. "I told you, there's nothing to talk about anymore. So please, leave me alone. I'm tired of people who are emotionally draining today."

He casually stretched out his body on top of that pitch, then closed his eyes. Really think of me as an invisible creature.

"Go home, Mom."

My eyes instantly bought. Astaghfirullah, isn't there a better expulsion sentence than that?

"I don't want to be disturbed by anyone. You want me to drop and—"

"Stop talking."

"Yes, if you don't want me to talk, go home."

Farhan is not his name if you just give up. With Najwa still closed, even now that he uses his right hand to close his eyes, I immediately sit on his empty left side.

He looked surprised. It was visible from his ghouls who instantly got up and stared at me with a sharp look.

"Mas Farhan why so stubborn, anyway? Don't understand human language or what?"

I only smile to respond to him at this moment. For some reason, Najwa's attitude like this looks sweet in my eyes right now. Though I still remember very well, one of the most annoying things about a Najwa in the early days of our marriage was his attitude like this.

"Make your own smile. Are you getting less healthy? I'll let you know, Mommy and Dad, let this kid start tilting and need to be taken to a mental institution."

Ah, I like your attitude, honey.

If I had more courage, surely that sentence was not just thrown into my heart. But I must be more patient in order to conquer the heart of the woman who has managed to captivate my heart with this simplicity.

"What to a mental hospital? The doctor is here." I want to see how he responds. Maybe with these things, he wanted to change his mind and undo his request to Dad.

Severer. What do you think your wife's heart is, Farhan?

He glared at me. "Can't you right? Only you can treat my pain."

"Not funny, Mommy."

"Oh, less funny, huh? Well, your husband would be happy to find funny things that would make my wife smile."

"Mas, if you act like this just to take my heart to cancel my divorce claim, I'm sorry, I'll never change my mind. I've been thinking about this for a long time. I think goodbye is best for us."

Conscious, Farhan! Your wife's feeling is like glass, which once cracked, won't be whole again.

I can only grieve, lamenting the fate. Najwa could even guess where I was going. I no longer knew how to persuade Najwa. I was at a loss for words to respond. So that when Najwa chose to get up from his seat and lower his legs, ready to leave the park, I could only look at him with nanar.

Najwa began to step away leaving me who was still stuck on my own on the slope. But, out of nowhere, about three steps she took, I called her. As she stopped, despite not turning her head, I knew that it was a gesture she welcomed my call.

I immediately came down from the top of the pitch to approach him enthusiastically because I felt I had a new injection of spirit.

I looked at him for a while, then said, "If indeed separation will guarantee you happiness, maybe I will try to let our relationship end."

Maybe I should give him a little pause to think things through. Like Rifki who does not necessarily judge Rifka, I will try to give him that opportunity.

"Even though I'm not sure I'd be able to live well if I really parted with you."

I lowered my face because I felt unable to lose the beautiful scenery on this woman's face.

Najwa remained silent. I don't know what's on his mind right now.

"I know I'm a lot wrong with you, and an apology alone won't restore your feelings that may have been deeply fractured." I closed for a while, then opened my eyes, then raised my head. "But please, give me a chance to prove that I'm serious about what I'm saying."

His gaze instantly sharpened. It made me a little stunned and gulped in a few moments.

"Let me fight for you this time, to reach for your love." I took a breath for a moment. "And if in the end you will still choose to separate, maybe that's the best. I'll try to take it."

That's my decision. Although I had to feel countless pains, I had to accept it because it was a consequence of my actions.

My only hope is one, hopefully what I do is right and will not hurt anyone later.

Still in an awkward position because after I said that, I was suddenly startled by Najwa's attitude. I almost fell over when unexpectedly he hugged me. Yes, this wife I missed who came to hug me. I don't know on what basis.

"I'm tired, Mas," he said. I felt my shoulders wet, it must have been Najwa's tears.

I put my hand to stroke his back. "I'm here, Najwa. If you want to cry, cry. I'm ready to be where you lean."

He no longer held back his cries. He's not even shaken at all. Even though the relationship between us until the second before he hugged me, he still seemed unwilling to get close to me.

"I'm also sorry if as long as I'm your wife, I haven't been able to be a good wife to you, of course you want. Maybe we need to be alone first." That sentence was the ending of the conversation between me and Najwa. He parsed a hug, then wiped away the trace of tears on his cheek and immediately sauntered without turning his head in the direction of me who was still glued—more to be exact, confused by what really happened.

What does Najwa really want? He looked so strong to part with me, even my long sentences did not get a good response at all. Then just now, she suddenly hugged me and ....

"Farhan."

***

Hi, I'm updating again, lo. Let's ramaikan. If many, the author will be eager to continue the story. What is a writer without a reader. 😥

Slow down, we make Mas Farhan a little tortured first yes. Who told him to be evil with his wife. Ha-ha-ha.