Just a Bond

Najwa Lost

Where is Najwa? That question first came to mind as soon as I got home and found my place with the woman empty. I spread my gaze across the entire side of the vestibule, quiet and silent. It's like there's no sign of life here.

Without going to my room first, I went straight to Najwa's room. Again I was worried because the door was closed.

“Is Najwa on break?” Considering I never knew his activities during the day. You know what the reason is.

With your heart racing, give your hand to hold the door knob. I don't know why I'm nervous like this. Once the door of the room that lately often occupied Najwa as his private room, again I was made to wonder and panic when I did not find the woman there. I set foot into the room that looked very neat and looked around every corner, still not finding the whereabouts of Najwa.

While messing with hair, not caring about the appearance that is not crowded, I muttered, “Where are you going, Najwa?”

I'm getting more and more agitated. Remembering that there were still four places I had not been to, I immediately walked out of the room and closed the door again. One room that I rarely used had been to, Najwa still did not exist. I went to the bathroom, who knows he already wants to wash because it turns out the clock has shown at half two— which means the time of Zuhur has entered—resultnil. Everywhere I went, Najwa's nose remained invisible.

I leaned against the front room wall for a moment while sighing. “Najwa not blurred, ‘kan?”

For some reason, in this state of turmoil, more negative thoughts dominate. My mind became less and less after that. I quickly shook my head. “Neg. Najwa could not escape. For more than a month he held me down despite suffering. I'm sure he's not that weak.”

Impressed selfish indeed. You dodol, Farhan!

But ... If Najwa actually ran away and it turns out he ran away to his parents' house how? Obviously, I grew even more upset when the fear started haunting.

“Your life title now, Farhan!” One fist I managed to put on the wall I was originally going to. No matter the pain that was created after that, the most important thing now is that I have to find the whereabouts of Najwa.

Armed with the denial that Najwa was a strong woman and could not escape, I once again surrounded the entire house. Feelings of fatigue from going back and forth from one place to another as if disoriented, changing panic that continues to control the heart. And the result I got was ... Najwa's missing!

“Ah, chaos!” I don't know how many shouts of frustration and rough hair shuffling I did. This situation, plus the guilt that continues to linger in the chest and demand an apology to the person who has been hurt, feels even more torturous. So many hours that I spent searching for Najwa on all sides of the house in vain, I had to end because it turned out that the qiroah ahead of the Asar Azaan had been heard from a distance.

Astaghfirullahal.

Rubbing the entire side of the face for a while, I purified myself to face Him. I just realized, there is more hurt than Najwa here, which is He the Owner of my wife who I try to oppose His destiny.

O Allah, forgive the servant who blames You, the All-Knower, for not accepting what should happen.

In a longer prostration than usual, I poured all the anxiety and turmoil in front of Him. The plea of mercy I have not forgotten. It is still fortunate that He rebuked my wrong actions through Najwa. Otherwise, I will forever live in prejudice and continue to persecute people who know nothing. I was crying in front of Him. Being aware of all the mistakes that gradually I must definitely be held accountable in front of everyone.

I kept lamenting, until somehow these raging thoughts moved to other realms, maybe also influenced by fatigue with what happened all day, knowing I woke up when magrib was approaching. Fortunately I fell asleep after performing the Asar prayer.

***

The first time being at home in magrib— time at the time usually nine hours new home— and with the state of the house still quiet, makes me think again. The house I live in is quite far from the crowd. It was deliberately, anyway, the first time I said I wanted to make a house to the Father and Mother, I asked for a location far enough from the neighboring house. Not pansos, less like the crowd, only.

Why Najwa can feel at home living alone with a quiet house like this?

Quickly, I stepped towards his room. The panic again entered the heart.

“Where are you, Najwa?” I was sitting limp on the edge of that bedroom bed. I spread my gaze again to the whole side of the room, until this gaze stopped on a book lying on the bedside nightstand.

I was stunned when I read a row of sentences arranged into neat paragraphs with pretty good handwriting and readable.

My Hot - Tempered and Cold Husband

These lips could not help but smile as soon as they read the title of the writing. Turns out I have a special title, yes, in Najwa's eyes. Honey, the title I got from him is so uncomfortable to hear. But what else? That title he gave because of my behavior too, ‘kan?

Before I could read the book, I heard a loud phone ringing from my room. I put the book down and headed to my room to pick up the phone.

“Iya, Nan. Why?”

“Where's Najwa? Are you sorry yet?” I'm sorry to hear that question.  “Farhan, answer what cake. Most of you shut up from earlier.”

I snorted softly at the annoying words from Kinan. But I finally answered quietly, “Najwa is missing, Nan.”

“How did you lose? Mistake you mean?” Stupidly I, while not making a video call, nodded. How could Kinan possibly see? Be fat!

“Pas arrived at Najwa's house no longer exists. I search all corners of the house, still no.”

“Keep you quiet at home?” Kinan's voice sounded annoyed. “Han, from the past you like gercep, why now even lola, anyway? You know Najwa ran away, but you're quiet. No real effort or anything, cake. Who said he wanted to be responsible? People respond to this crucial incident even cosplay so people dazed.”

Gosh darn. I nodded my head at the long barrage of scolding from Kinan. She was like the mothers of neighbors who were crumpled until the sound of her screams was heard to my house which was quite far from her home.

“Nan, it's more relaxing when you can, right?” The left hand kept turning its head.

However, it seems that Kinan has been very excited about me. Still he chimed in with the typical loud voice of mothers.

“You if you are not bullied won't action, Han. Most think it could hurt, lo. Let's find Najwa!”

***

Hey, glad I didn't update again? Happy dong for sure. Wkwk. Come comment! Ramify, yuhu! Farhan was confused. Ha-has.

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Friday, 17 September 2021