Just a Bond

Full of Falsity

"Farhan, why silence?" reset Mother.

Seeing the inertia of Mas Farhan, I became curious about what answers he would give to Mother. Let's see how Mr. Es bin Temprament's response gives an answer.

Mas Farhan's lips opened. "Em .. that, Mother-"

It turns out he can stutter too. I thought he could only get angry and jutek. I want to laugh seeing that expression. But I hold back, because I do not want to raise Mother's suspicion again. Mas Farhan must also jaim in front of Mother.

"That's what, Farhan? Let's answer. You won't stutter like this if you don't hide something from Mother."

Salut, anyway. Mother really knows who her son is. Silently bowing my head, I waited for the answer to what Mas Farhan would give. If Mother had stayed with us, how happy I would have been because Mas Farhan would have been nice to me every day. How not? Mother seemed very hopeful at our wedding. If he shows a bad attitude while being with Mother, it is not impossible for the woman to be disappointed. As far as I'm concerned, Mas Farhan is always trying to keep Mother's feelings.

Ah, but no. It's not that kind of happiness I want. The sweet and sincere treatment of Mas Farhan's heart I want.

"Last night Farhan and Najwa slept outside, Bun. It was hot in the middle last night. Yes, right, sweetheart?”

I heaved a heavy sigh hearing the sentence that had just slid from my husband's thick lips. Turns out he's still getting me involved to trick his own mother. Really smart guy. Honey, he uses his intelligence for things like this. My body felt stiff instantly, especially when Mas Farhan embraced the shoulders and behaved like a husband and wife in general. The tongue feels so weak that it is unable to speak. Just a nod of the head and a little forced smile I was able to do as Mother looked at us in full search.

“Kow is only one pillow? Which rat? What are you guys wearing? There's no way you two can sleep on the couch, right? Load time?”

My mother is really great. There are only words that can corner me and Mas Farhan. If it wasn't for the determination to fight from the beginning, the sense that began to grow for her, as well as the desire of Father who wished me to marry once in a lifetime, maybe I'd have dismantled it all by now. What is there to defend anyway, while my husband does not accept me? Even from the beginning we lived together, he had already emphasized that. Enough with me being honest and ending this marriage, everything must be running out. There will be no more tears as we mourn the unlucky fate as it has been. There will be no more pain in the chest that results in tightness of the tub overwritten by a load of thousands of tons. I can also breathe a sigh of relief and can do anything as I wish. Isn't that easier? Surely it's happy, isn't it?

However, it is the narrow thinking of pessimists. And I, I'm not going to put any more pessimistic slits in me. I will follow this life. I will advance to the final limit I can no longer fight. Because out of nowhere, I believe that I can conquer the heart of the man who is currently embracing my shoulder.

I wish I could last longer by your side, Mas. Loved you.

I stared fixed his face that scowled because cornered by Mother. Not annoyed, I even smiled faintly at the look. Didn't he know that he was still handsome in my eyes, even though he was angry?

Aw, Najwa. What are you thinking?

“This mundane why? The question time is like that? What's wrong with us being two?”

Oh, my God, my. If what you say really happened between us.

I was still pecking, seeing the extent to which Mas Farhan persisted with the debate that unwittingly began to enter our chat room this morning.

And Mommy does not seem satisfied with Mas Farhan's answer. The middle-aged woman, but still looking young, said again, “Why not use a fan? Inside there is also AC, 'didn't you love it if it's not used?”

Souls argue Mother should I stick my thumb. His critical reasoning in responding to things that do not suit his mind is very worthy of appreciation. Marvellously.

I heard Mas Farhan sighing softly. He seemed frustrated by rubbing his face with one hand that did not embrace my shoulder.

“Aduh, Mother. Why is it a problem anyway? Some of the people who have confessed to both of us. Why does the noisy Mother ask this and that?”

If you look at the interaction of Mas Farhan and Mommy this morning, it seems that the cold and jutek character towards me is not the original character. He was not cold and cold as he did to me.

Could it be that he deliberately changed his attitude to make me uncomfortable and chose to retreat? What reason? Was it for that reason? Because you don't want to be disappointed if he chooses to retreat first? He was willing to sacrifice me so that he wouldn't be labeled bad by his parents? For a long time I was tired of living with all the possibilities that were not clear.

I saw Mother breathing. "Yes, Mother feels strange with your behavior. Mother is worried that your relationship is not okay.”

I bow my head hearing Mother's words. Slowly, my eyes moistened with clear fluids as guilt feelings for Mother for what happened this morning slipped back into the heart. What if someday Mother knows the real situation?

"Had, wasn't it, Bun? Farhan pamit, yes. Take a shower, keep going to work."

Without waiting for Mother's response, Mas Farhan pulled his arm on my shoulder and then moved into the room.

“Ya. Get ready to go to work. Let Mommy be with Najwa at home. You're not hired, are you your husband?”

Quickly, I shook my head in response to Mother's question. I was not employed by Mas Farhan, but I worked out of my own will. Yeah, nevermind. Mother does not need to know. I sat down to accompany Mother in the front room.

"You're not pregnant yet, Naj?"

O God, strengthen the heart of the servant in this attitude of the Mother. Just landed my ass on the couch, Mommy surprised me again. Although still in shock, I forced a thin smile towards Mother.

"Not yet destined, Mother. Why?" As much as possible I try to be calm.

"Dong school. Mommy can't wait to carry a grandchild. Mother's worried about your bang, Nayla. Gibran's son is funny."

Ah, grandchild, huh? Mommy should pray for your son first so that the door of his heart is open and can accept Najwa. There would be no hereditary history between us, if he did not consider me. However, I can only wail inwardly, and smile in response to Mother's words.

“You didn't have breakfast first, Han?”

I turned towards Mas Farhan who was ready with his work clothes on. A breakfast? There is no history of breakfast, lunch and dinner in this house, Mother. This Mother's son never once ate the dishes that Najwa cooked.

I could only be quiet while biting my lips. Really, I just want to disappear now. I'm really sick of the same situation that keeps repeating itself. I'm tired of this masked life of falsehood. The head also begins to throb pain because various kinds of thoughts enter without being prevented.

“No, Mother. Farhan was afraid of bad luck. Farhan will eat in the studio."

“You guys why the hell? You guys got a problem? Same story, Mother! Your attitude is strange to know.”

Mother's voice tone sounded annoyed. His face showed that feeling. For a moment, I sat down with Mas Farhan. I told you I was tired, right? Let's see what else this husband is going to do.

“No, Mother. We're doing just fine. Yeah, right, honey?”

Alright, alright. Although I was bored with that groove, I had no other choice now.

“Iya, Mother. Mother just calm down.” I answered her alas.

"Yes already. There leave. Go home quickly if you get work done. Don't wander."

Mas Farhan simply nodded, then greeted Mother, then extended his hand before me. I grabbed the hand, then felt it full of reverence. I'll take him to the front door.

...***...

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Sweet greetings from sweet people.

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Tuesday, 15 June 2021