Just a Bond

Without Consciously Being a Burden

"Did you choose a mate wrongly for you?"

Instantly my body froze like it was stored on a fresher. The surprising question from Dad almost got me a heart attack. How not? While I was still engrossed in thoughts that branched out to nowhere, Dad suddenly raised the question.

"Najwa?"

I don't know what to answer to Dad, I can just bite my lip. My hand link with Dad was slowly removed, not wanting him to notice the change in my feelings. Usually my hands will be cold and a little sweaty if you are restless.

Suggesting myself to stay relaxed and not get carried away, I looked up again. I forced her lips to give her a sweet smile. I held her hand, rubbing it with my other hand.

"There's nothing wrong, Dad."

And I looked at me full of search. Makes me secretly swallow saliva. Honestly, insecurity in the heart continues to create unfounded fears in the mind. In a faint sigh to calm down. As often as possible I avoided Dad's gaze as he tried to find out the truth of my answer from these eyes.

Anyway, it's true, isn't it? There is nothing wrong if the Almighty wills. Because behind something that is considered wrong by the glasses of His creatures, of course there is wisdom and reason respectively. He's Wise. It is impossible to create something without useless causes and reasons. Is not what He does His omnipotence?

And as for Mas Farhan's treatment, maybe it's also part of my test for happiness later. It is like a challenge in a game. If I could pass all the exams, I would have passed, right? Just pray. Pray for me and Mas Farhan.

I was still sitting next to Father, but my gaze did not lead to him. Until one of his calls made me turn my attention back towards him.

"The honest answer to Dad's question, Wa."

I grieve hearing Dad's very demanding answer. My answer is not convincing. That answer is too general, anyway. It's only right that I'm not satisfied. Duh, again because of my low flight hours, I even confused myself looking for a reason to kink. But I won't let it.

Shake firmly while maintaining a smile, I said, "Even if we have a problem, isn't that natural, Dad? Father himself often said, the spice in the household is a problem, right?"

"But I'm always worried about you, son. Do you like to think about the problems you face?"

My smile was still, though it was heartbreaking. I looked at the face of the man who was still leaning on the head of the cot with sadness. "Thank you, 'cause Dad always cared about Najwa."

"There is no reason for parents not to care about their children, Najwa. In addition to the obligations of parents, it is already the nature of it."

"Najwa understands, Dad. But, for the problems that Najwa is facing, this is the stage of maturation Najwa, Yah, and Najwa must face."

Yes, everyone has their own problems. Including myself. And it is you who can finish it. Although sometimes there are some of them who still need the help of others to find a solution. They are only intermediaries.

Getting out of the comfort zone and facing the problems that are being experienced will certainly produce different results and sensations in life. The adult thinking of each person is sometimes also influenced by environmental factors and problems in life that come and go. Like school children, to hone their intelligence, yes with exercises, hands-on practice, exams, and others.

"Najwa can, and Najwa is sure, as long as there's family behind Najwa."

"alright. I believe." Slowly, my breath gradually lightened to hear Dad's reply.

"Thank you, Dad. This is the kind of support Najwa needs."

"Yes, Son. But, if your problems cannot be tolerated, I will not hesitate to separate you. As I promised your mother's house."

And Najwa won't let that happen, Dad. Najwa will continue to fight for Mas Farhan, until when this secret is revealed, Father or anyone else cannot separate us. I'll tie Mas Farhan. I will make my dream wedding. Marriage is not just a bond. May the spirit of God, yes.

I nodded steadily, though fear followed behind him.

"Oh, yes. I want a story."

I secured the sitting position beside Dad. Before I started telling her, I offered her a glass of water first. Only then did Dad start a story that intrigued me.

There was a swish in the chest when Dad mentioned about Mom. Anxiety began to re-enter the heart space, as if not ready to hear the continuation of the story. Faintly, the body began to tremble. There was a drop of sweat pouring out behind the clothes. Especially when you see your face looks gloomy. That's exactly the same as when Mom died. Although five years passed, I'm sure Dad did not fully accept Mom's departure. It was because of the guilt of Dad who could not save Mom. Mom died after being hit by a motorbike while crossing the street to approach Dad at one of the shops to buy snacks for a travel companion.

Ah, considering that time, it makes me miss the figure of a tough woman who accompanied Dad to face the strange life. I remember the early days when he left us. Although many times we tried to calm Dad down and asked to give Mom a hand, Dad just kept quiet. It was like losing half of his soul. However, understand. Her name is also wife. Who wants to be abandoned by their loved ones?

"Mom why, Dad?" I stiffened my body, then looked for a comfortable position again because I felt cramping. "This is also what's behind Dad's pain?"

A drop of tears fell on my hand, which was again holding my hand. Creating a growing worry. The faint nods Dad made made me feel even more chaotic. I tried to look at his face.

What exactly is Dad going through? Why does he look so sad from his eyes?

However, for a long time Dad was silent. Simultaneously, his roar of breath re-ignited. Makes my cock's soul thrash more. I tried to make a sound to take Dad's answer, but still there was no answer, until finally he said, "Your mother came to Dad crying loudly while saying your name, Son."

Dad's words made me aghast and immediately glazed over.

O Allah. I'm sure you came to tell Dad about me.

"Father of thought .. because your mother said nothing but said your name. There was a flush of sadness, anger and despair from your mother's voice back then, son."

Puddles of clear fluid also spread in the corner of the eye. Again I'm the cause of Dad's mind burden, right? This is why I don't want to tell Dad much. Understandably, in addition to a history of heart disease Dad, he was also getting older. His mind tends to be sensitive. I get that. There are many things he thinks about even though his children have a family.

"Everything is Dad calling you, making sure you're really happy with Farhan, even Dad asked like that. I'm afraid that your mate's choice is completely wrong for you, son."

My crying is breaking. Intentions do not want to burden parents by not telling anything, in fact I am still a burden on them. Even Mother, who has not been with us for a long time, came to Father on my grounds. The guilt is getting bigger, causing its own burden and feels squeezed in the chest, so it is like difficulty breathing.

I haven't been able anything to repay my parents, and now. When do I want to be like this? What can I do but hang on to Mas Farhan at the moment? Married to Mas Farhan is something that is very much expected by Dad. Because of his close relationship with Mas Farhan's parents. They are not just business friends, but they are like family from the beginning. And that's all I can do for all of them.

"Pardon-sorry, Dad. I'm sorry that Najwa has always been a burden to me."

The man stroked my head which had already been slouched in his lap. I let tears roll. Let me be a whiny man now. Lesakan emotions in the chest due to various kinds of pressure, can no longer I dam.

"It's okay, son. It's Dad's job to ensure your happiness."

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for bringing me the most talented hero of my life.

The expression of gratitude was unceasingly spoken from the lips that were still trembling with tears. And my father .. he kept saying tranquilizing sentences for me while still stroking my head.

"Bo pray Najwa, Dad. Pray that Najwa will always be strong and patient."

"Of course, son. I wish you happiness with your choices."

"Dad you up?"

...***...

Finally updated again. Alhamdulillahot. Don't get tired of waiting for this story update, yeah. Don't forget the likes, votes and comments. Your support is like an injection of spirit for me, lo. If your response is enthusiastic, I am also enthusiastic about writing. Hehe.

Sweet greetings from the sweet author.

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Saturday, 26 June 2021